(no subject)
Working at disney is actually pretty fun. it does kinda suck that the days i work it wears me out. but who cares really. so far i only work the weekends and since i have the whole week free im cool with just it. Today i have to work 2 to 11ish its alright it will be fun! i have a lot of things to think about so im ok with the fact that my mom has to use my car this week too. i thinks its best that i spend monday alone and maybe tuesday too but im pretty sure ill be able to have the car wednesday so ill see people then.it was really crazy. yesturday i was driveing to Alexs and this song came on about like a grandma dieing and her tears being rain, and i no joke started blawing, i couldnt stop so i had to drive slower so Alex wouldnt think i was a werido. i got to his house and jennifer was like why are your eyes all puffy and Alex jumps in with shes not wearing makeup. and i dont know i just did really feel up to anything, then i dont know we were hanging out and i forgot about being sad and he made me laugh and i just got this feeling that i was right were i belonged, then we hung out with Johnpaul,Evan and Tracy, and its was fun, we all always have so much fun. BUt then for some crazy reason the retarted boys wanted to pee in the woods. and as we all know im a baby and i get scared really easy, but as we walked i just started to be sad agian. i had this huge cry comeing and i dont know i guess it came off as me being a lameass that was like i wanna leave. then when we got back to alexs i just wanted to cry so instead of staying for more time i just had to leave. and i dont know for some reason id rather have him mad at me then him think im depressed or a werido that crys for some reason. i guess i just wanna spend sometime alone at my house so i can try to think why the death of my grandma still hurts so much for me, i was 4 years old when she dies. i guess i kinda want to actually think about why and not cover up my feelings with actions i guess. well i dont know maybe disney will make me forget about this but i doubt it since alexs couldnt