Dream
So, last night I had a really involved dream. It was so weird.
I was living in Colorado Springs, but it looked more like an area of Denver I've driven through before. I still work at James Irwin. But I had a child. I'm not married. I have a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is obviously the joy of my life, I worship him. He's everything to me. I take him to the doctor one day and the doctor tells me my child is going to die unless he gets a heart transplant. My world falls apart.
I go home to my apartment, different from the one I live in now. I don't know what to do. Somehow, I find out about a man that can help me. But he is living in the psych ward of a hospital on 652 Meadow street...I don't think that was the correct street name, but something like that. I got the directions off the Internet.
I drive there, I don't know what I did with my baby. I think he stayed at home. I'm walking through the hospital and it looks deserted. Empty halls, no one behind the desk. But somehow, I found this man's room. I am terrified of him, but I go in alone and shut the door behind me. He is laying on his bed staring at me. I start crying and I tell him my story. While I'm talking, I flinch every single time he moves. I'm scared he is going to stab me. (I can't remember now, but he actually had something in his hand that I was afraid of, but he finally put that down.) Then he picks up a needle, and I am terrified, but still pleading for my baby. He starts stabbing himself in the thigh with this needle. But he doesn't bleed. I flinch every time he does it.
He laughs at me once I'm done. Says something like, "So, you think I can help you?"
"You're the one I was told to see. Please, I love my son. He is all I have."
He stands up and walks to me, I am terrified. He touches my face and he's like ice. He kneels down so we are face to face. He is ugly and terrifying. He smiles. "I'll help your little boy."
I start crying with relief. He tells me to bring my son to the hospital tomorrow and he'll see that he's taken care of. I leave and collapse outside in the hall. It had been so horrible! But he was going to help me. I walked out to my car, and end up driving to Justin's. I go into his house and just run into his arms. He asks me what's wrong. I tell him that my baby is dying and has to have a heart transplant. He holds me close, comforting me. It felt so good to be in his arms. It made everything seem less serious.
He followed me home in his own car and came with me into the apartment. I am still crying as I walk into my baby's room. He rolls over and looks at me. He's smiling. I run to him and hold him in my arms, never wanting to let him go. Never wanting anything to happen to him. Justin came in and put his arms around me, trying to talk me down because I was just sobbing.
Somehow, it was the next morning and it was time for us to go to the hospital. Justin came with us. I took my son into the hospital and watch as they put him on a stretcher and were using the anethesia. Justin is holding my hand and I am just out of control because they are taking my baby away. He could die! Even with the sugery, he could die! I watched them wheel my baby out of the room toward the operating room. Justin holds me tight. And, as the door shuts after my baby, I woke up.
What does this mean!?
I was living in Colorado Springs, but it looked more like an area of Denver I've driven through before. I still work at James Irwin. But I had a child. I'm not married. I have a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He is obviously the joy of my life, I worship him. He's everything to me. I take him to the doctor one day and the doctor tells me my child is going to die unless he gets a heart transplant. My world falls apart.
I go home to my apartment, different from the one I live in now. I don't know what to do. Somehow, I find out about a man that can help me. But he is living in the psych ward of a hospital on 652 Meadow street...I don't think that was the correct street name, but something like that. I got the directions off the Internet.
I drive there, I don't know what I did with my baby. I think he stayed at home. I'm walking through the hospital and it looks deserted. Empty halls, no one behind the desk. But somehow, I found this man's room. I am terrified of him, but I go in alone and shut the door behind me. He is laying on his bed staring at me. I start crying and I tell him my story. While I'm talking, I flinch every single time he moves. I'm scared he is going to stab me. (I can't remember now, but he actually had something in his hand that I was afraid of, but he finally put that down.) Then he picks up a needle, and I am terrified, but still pleading for my baby. He starts stabbing himself in the thigh with this needle. But he doesn't bleed. I flinch every time he does it.
He laughs at me once I'm done. Says something like, "So, you think I can help you?"
"You're the one I was told to see. Please, I love my son. He is all I have."
He stands up and walks to me, I am terrified. He touches my face and he's like ice. He kneels down so we are face to face. He is ugly and terrifying. He smiles. "I'll help your little boy."
I start crying with relief. He tells me to bring my son to the hospital tomorrow and he'll see that he's taken care of. I leave and collapse outside in the hall. It had been so horrible! But he was going to help me. I walked out to my car, and end up driving to Justin's. I go into his house and just run into his arms. He asks me what's wrong. I tell him that my baby is dying and has to have a heart transplant. He holds me close, comforting me. It felt so good to be in his arms. It made everything seem less serious.
He followed me home in his own car and came with me into the apartment. I am still crying as I walk into my baby's room. He rolls over and looks at me. He's smiling. I run to him and hold him in my arms, never wanting to let him go. Never wanting anything to happen to him. Justin came in and put his arms around me, trying to talk me down because I was just sobbing.
Somehow, it was the next morning and it was time for us to go to the hospital. Justin came with us. I took my son into the hospital and watch as they put him on a stretcher and were using the anethesia. Justin is holding my hand and I am just out of control because they are taking my baby away. He could die! Even with the sugery, he could die! I watched them wheel my baby out of the room toward the operating room. Justin holds me tight. And, as the door shuts after my baby, I woke up.
What does this mean!?