(no subject)
there's little left to say now. I guess it's just another adolescent romance turned casualty... only this time I'm not the adolescent. I guess my life works out best when I pretend you don't exist, but we're none of us invisible... that's for sure. you're surely there and you spend too much time looking at me and you... don't get it.
and you won't.
and I don't.
and it's not fair and it's stupid and lame and I don't... care... anymore...
because I can't. because caring makes me crazy and I'll try and try to win you over and when I finally do I'll tire of you and then... and then you'll wonder why I tried so hard if I was just going to throw it all away anyway. I'll wonder that too but I'll never admit it. remember when? I try not to. I try to many things and none of them work and they work too well and I need... I just need... a cigarette. sigh.
it's almost everything I need...
but not quite.
never quite everything.
the days go by so fast, and I feel like I'm just riding along. riding is the wrong word. I feel like I'm being pulled along behind a moving vehicle. a fast moving vehicle. with no breaks. I get depressed when things stop moving but I feel overwhelmed and stressed when they move too fast. my life is... so weird.
wish I didn't fall in love with a stupid kid with a rapist ponytail and a girlfriend.
wish he didn't kind of love me back. it'd be easier to forget about him if he didn't call back... call first... smile like that...
come away with me today
everything will be okay...
and you won't.
and I don't.
and it's not fair and it's stupid and lame and I don't... care... anymore...
because I can't. because caring makes me crazy and I'll try and try to win you over and when I finally do I'll tire of you and then... and then you'll wonder why I tried so hard if I was just going to throw it all away anyway. I'll wonder that too but I'll never admit it. remember when? I try not to. I try to many things and none of them work and they work too well and I need... I just need... a cigarette. sigh.
it's almost everything I need...
but not quite.
never quite everything.
the days go by so fast, and I feel like I'm just riding along. riding is the wrong word. I feel like I'm being pulled along behind a moving vehicle. a fast moving vehicle. with no breaks. I get depressed when things stop moving but I feel overwhelmed and stressed when they move too fast. my life is... so weird.
wish I didn't fall in love with a stupid kid with a rapist ponytail and a girlfriend.
wish he didn't kind of love me back. it'd be easier to forget about him if he didn't call back... call first... smile like that...
come away with me today
everything will be okay...