(no subject)
I don't know why I insist on writing in this thing even when I have nothing to say, and nothing is happening, and my brain just feels like stupid fevery mush.
I guess I went to Ashland for almost a week, that was bizzare. I didn't see anyone socially except Todd and Dan, and even that wasn't exactly how I hoped it would be. I don't know those people anymore and it's kindof sad to think about. Everyone just gets so fucked up there, and lets the booze do the talking, and never EVER takes responsibility for anything. I'm so sick of people blaming intoxication for their actions. You did it. Get over it.
I guess I feel different about my life since getting back from there though... nothing like going home for a couple days to make you really appreciate what you have.
I think I have a problem. I think I'm falling for Shareef... like for real. It doesn't seem like it should be a problem at all, I mean honestly we live together and we sleep together and we hold hands and we totally adore each other... but I don't think I'm supposed to fall in love with him. Sometimes when the lights are dim and I'm almost asleep and his hand somehow finds mine and we interlock our fingers under the covers... sometimes when the conversation lulls and it's just a comfortable silence... sometimes when he kisses me in the kitchen for no reason at all...
Sometimes I feel like saying it out loud... the thing that I promised never to say... the words that make clear a feeling that I promised never to feel again, but for this person in particular.
Ach.
I guess I went to Ashland for almost a week, that was bizzare. I didn't see anyone socially except Todd and Dan, and even that wasn't exactly how I hoped it would be. I don't know those people anymore and it's kindof sad to think about. Everyone just gets so fucked up there, and lets the booze do the talking, and never EVER takes responsibility for anything. I'm so sick of people blaming intoxication for their actions. You did it. Get over it.
I guess I feel different about my life since getting back from there though... nothing like going home for a couple days to make you really appreciate what you have.
I think I have a problem. I think I'm falling for Shareef... like for real. It doesn't seem like it should be a problem at all, I mean honestly we live together and we sleep together and we hold hands and we totally adore each other... but I don't think I'm supposed to fall in love with him. Sometimes when the lights are dim and I'm almost asleep and his hand somehow finds mine and we interlock our fingers under the covers... sometimes when the conversation lulls and it's just a comfortable silence... sometimes when he kisses me in the kitchen for no reason at all...
Sometimes I feel like saying it out loud... the thing that I promised never to say... the words that make clear a feeling that I promised never to feel again, but for this person in particular.
Ach.