In dreams...
I'm talking to Simon at the moment about how he can put Calvin's "pie-stuffer" comment and my post it note idea together to ask Colleen out. Now, while I'm really happy for him its making me a little sad to think about.
He's so happy, giggly and excited....and he knows he's got atleast a small chance whereas I know that I have none with Scott.
While totally confusing me to begin with, he finally did come out and stay that'd he'd really like to hump me and that his next free day would be devoted to just that....there will be no relationship however. Just friends with some occasional benefits.
Personally I don't know what to think of this...I'm getting what I want, but at the same time I'm not.
Sure I want sex, but I want romance too. I want a man to sweep me off my feet and buy me flowers. I want a man who'll take care of me and care about me. I want a man who'll snuggle me all night and make me feel loved and safe. I want a man who's not afraid to show his true feelings or hold my hand in public...am I asking for too much?
Another question that seems to be hanging over my head at the moment is whether or not I should stay on this new diet that I started last Thursday.
Its called the Montignac diet. Its very much like Atkins but I can have as much yogurt, dark chocolate, icecream and apples as I like...its basically a low GI diet. Keeps you feeling fuller longer and releases energy more slowly. Because of the low carb intake your body is forced to burn more fat for energy I think.
Now, my mother and my sleep therapist are starting to have some reservations about this.
My mother thinks that it may not be worth the hassle because coincidently my sleeping has been pretty poopy this past week, which I'll get to later on.
My sleep therapist is concerned that if I don't get enough energy, I could run myself down and that will effect the way I'm sleeping...
Personally, I think my reaching a healthy body weight and gaining some self esteem are more important than a few nights sleep.
I'm talking to Phill now about my poopy sleep this past week. Basically, I've been having some pretty awful dreams. He's suggesting some things that might be causing them like psychological and/or emotional states, bad diet, high fatigue, high stress, medications, environmental factors or a bad back or neck...
I don't really know what's causing them, but I'd like them to stop or atleast slow down. I find I'm having atleast one every night and most of them shake me up pretty bad. I wake up sweating, hot and so totally out of it...its becoming a problem, not only emotionally but I'm worried how it will effect my concentration at school next week.
See, these dreams cause my sleep to be all disruptive and unrestful so I wake up fatigued and spaced out...which is not good if I'm to be leaving the house at 7:30am and staring at computers and intricate little designs all day!
I'll just have to see how it goes I guess...
He's so happy, giggly and excited....and he knows he's got atleast a small chance whereas I know that I have none with Scott.
While totally confusing me to begin with, he finally did come out and stay that'd he'd really like to hump me and that his next free day would be devoted to just that....there will be no relationship however. Just friends with some occasional benefits.
Personally I don't know what to think of this...I'm getting what I want, but at the same time I'm not.
Sure I want sex, but I want romance too. I want a man to sweep me off my feet and buy me flowers. I want a man who'll take care of me and care about me. I want a man who'll snuggle me all night and make me feel loved and safe. I want a man who's not afraid to show his true feelings or hold my hand in public...am I asking for too much?
Another question that seems to be hanging over my head at the moment is whether or not I should stay on this new diet that I started last Thursday.
Its called the Montignac diet. Its very much like Atkins but I can have as much yogurt, dark chocolate, icecream and apples as I like...its basically a low GI diet. Keeps you feeling fuller longer and releases energy more slowly. Because of the low carb intake your body is forced to burn more fat for energy I think.
Now, my mother and my sleep therapist are starting to have some reservations about this.
My mother thinks that it may not be worth the hassle because coincidently my sleeping has been pretty poopy this past week, which I'll get to later on.
My sleep therapist is concerned that if I don't get enough energy, I could run myself down and that will effect the way I'm sleeping...
Personally, I think my reaching a healthy body weight and gaining some self esteem are more important than a few nights sleep.
I'm talking to Phill now about my poopy sleep this past week. Basically, I've been having some pretty awful dreams. He's suggesting some things that might be causing them like psychological and/or emotional states, bad diet, high fatigue, high stress, medications, environmental factors or a bad back or neck...
I don't really know what's causing them, but I'd like them to stop or atleast slow down. I find I'm having atleast one every night and most of them shake me up pretty bad. I wake up sweating, hot and so totally out of it...its becoming a problem, not only emotionally but I'm worried how it will effect my concentration at school next week.
See, these dreams cause my sleep to be all disruptive and unrestful so I wake up fatigued and spaced out...which is not good if I'm to be leaving the house at 7:30am and staring at computers and intricate little designs all day!
I'll just have to see how it goes I guess...