Not created/destroyed, but eternally bright.
Yesterday we applied for our new apartment. City living has its pros and cons, but living in the city while working in the county is a definite con for someone who can't stand to use a vehicle powered by fossil fuels. An average week consisted of nearly 300 miles of driving, which at my car's measily ~20mph equates to a fresh tank every week. And what with my car acting up all the time (coolant leaks most notably), I wouldn't want to end up relying on a several-hour bus transfer system through unpleasant areas of the city just to get to work. Moving seemed like the only realistic scenario.
My primary goal was simply to lower our cost of living. I don't want or need an extravagent cost of living, because I don't want to have to work extravagant hours to afford it all. I've seen others in this terrible cycle, so I stay out of it. And it's not as if we're suffering by anyone's standards. High speed internet, a Netflix account, all electricity costs increased by offsetting with wind power, a shopping list consisting of all (or almost all) organic food, and the ability to take trips to the Saint Francios Mountains and the like on a whim. I'd rather DO more than HAVE more, and I question the logic of anyone who feels otherwise. Experiences outweigh posessions a million fold.
Thus the move. With weekly gasoline expenses cut down to one fourth of my current usage and the possibility of biking or taking a bus from the new apartment, there is more financial freedom to enjoy the thngs in life that both of us value. Most importantly, more money will be able to go straight to savings. Currently I'm saving exactly 20% of my income. I hope to double that figure eventually. All of this goes towards land purchase and green building in the future. So far as I'm concerned, the money does not even exist until we are ready to buy. I have put it so far out of my mind that it's as if I never earned it.
But surprisingly we were able to find something more suitable to our mindsets while looking to lower our cost of living. The apartment we signed for and will take posession of on the 27th is wonderful. It has a private entrance with a porch/deck perfect for covering with plants, the bedroom and livingroom windows overlook a lake, there is a free-standing wood burning fireplace in the living room (which you take a step down to get into, making it seem more cozy like a den), a dining room smaller than our current one which will better suite our dinette table, and woods behind the building. Around the lake there is a trail which directly connects to one of my favorite local parks.
When we looked at the apartment it was pleasantly quiet. Cars periodically pulled in and out of the lots, but otherwise only the breeze interrupted the silence. I imagine the air quality is noticeably different there, too. There are a few too many smokestacks within walking distance to our current apartment. Not to mention a train transporting nuclear waste passes by routinely only a number of blocks away.
Living in the city was nice for the time. I learned quite a bit about Saint Louisans that I otherwise may have overlooked. The ever-present anarchy for one. In my neighborhood alone, several anarchy symbols can be found, on bridges, street signs, painted on cardboard and hoisted onto streetlights (all within blocks of me.) Beyond symbols, there are several scattered intentional communities with their own gardens in this part of the city. One of them (or so I've read) houses some of the workers of the Black Bear Bakery, "The Anarchist Bakery," a vegan-friendly co-op downtown.
I hate to feel that by leaving, I am neglecting a city that needs help. Ellen and I went out and collected trash within a 2-block radius and ended up disposing of something like 10 bags worth. A middle-aged woman saw us and asked if we were doing it with some type of organization or project, and we responded "no, we just live here." But that doesn't seem to be enough of a reason for most people to pick up their refuse.
What did we find? It was so predictable. Almost all of the trash we collected was cigarette packs, fast food bags, cups, and wrappers, lottery cards, beer bottles and junk food wrappers. All waste created by products and industries that we abstain from entirely. All products of a nation which caters to unhealthy addictions and habits that are literally destroying people. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. It was just one of the many lessons I learned by living in the city.
The county isn't perfect. It's just wealthier and more crafty in hiding its ugliness. One of the most appaling factors of any semi-wealthy neighborhood is the amount of electricity, natural gas, and water they waste, and the insane amount of garbage they produce. Not to mention the increased chance of lawn chemicals being used (after all, the poorer city folk aren't going to bother with that, even if by some chance they actually DO have a patch of grass to call a lawn.) As a delivery person, I can say I have been inside the belly of the beast. And it is more frightening than you might imagine. The American dream comes off a bit more like a nightmare to me... ever since I woke up into the mindset of taking responsibility for my own actions and crafted a higher set of standards for my life.
Even amidst the traffic, pollution, crime, and overall nonsense of living close to the heart of one of the most statistically uninhabitable cities in America, I managed to find peace. I've always told myself that if I cant find happiness within myself in Saint Louis, then I could never truly be happy anywhere. And I can finally say I've passed that test. Living maybe 50 paces from the Missouri Botanical Garden helps, I have to admit. But most of it comes from within. Not only within myself, but within the love Ellen and I share.
And now that I know I've found it here, the idea of picking up and going somewhere else on a whim is far less intimidating.
My primary goal was simply to lower our cost of living. I don't want or need an extravagent cost of living, because I don't want to have to work extravagant hours to afford it all. I've seen others in this terrible cycle, so I stay out of it. And it's not as if we're suffering by anyone's standards. High speed internet, a Netflix account, all electricity costs increased by offsetting with wind power, a shopping list consisting of all (or almost all) organic food, and the ability to take trips to the Saint Francios Mountains and the like on a whim. I'd rather DO more than HAVE more, and I question the logic of anyone who feels otherwise. Experiences outweigh posessions a million fold.
Thus the move. With weekly gasoline expenses cut down to one fourth of my current usage and the possibility of biking or taking a bus from the new apartment, there is more financial freedom to enjoy the thngs in life that both of us value. Most importantly, more money will be able to go straight to savings. Currently I'm saving exactly 20% of my income. I hope to double that figure eventually. All of this goes towards land purchase and green building in the future. So far as I'm concerned, the money does not even exist until we are ready to buy. I have put it so far out of my mind that it's as if I never earned it.
But surprisingly we were able to find something more suitable to our mindsets while looking to lower our cost of living. The apartment we signed for and will take posession of on the 27th is wonderful. It has a private entrance with a porch/deck perfect for covering with plants, the bedroom and livingroom windows overlook a lake, there is a free-standing wood burning fireplace in the living room (which you take a step down to get into, making it seem more cozy like a den), a dining room smaller than our current one which will better suite our dinette table, and woods behind the building. Around the lake there is a trail which directly connects to one of my favorite local parks.
When we looked at the apartment it was pleasantly quiet. Cars periodically pulled in and out of the lots, but otherwise only the breeze interrupted the silence. I imagine the air quality is noticeably different there, too. There are a few too many smokestacks within walking distance to our current apartment. Not to mention a train transporting nuclear waste passes by routinely only a number of blocks away.
Living in the city was nice for the time. I learned quite a bit about Saint Louisans that I otherwise may have overlooked. The ever-present anarchy for one. In my neighborhood alone, several anarchy symbols can be found, on bridges, street signs, painted on cardboard and hoisted onto streetlights (all within blocks of me.) Beyond symbols, there are several scattered intentional communities with their own gardens in this part of the city. One of them (or so I've read) houses some of the workers of the Black Bear Bakery, "The Anarchist Bakery," a vegan-friendly co-op downtown.
I hate to feel that by leaving, I am neglecting a city that needs help. Ellen and I went out and collected trash within a 2-block radius and ended up disposing of something like 10 bags worth. A middle-aged woman saw us and asked if we were doing it with some type of organization or project, and we responded "no, we just live here." But that doesn't seem to be enough of a reason for most people to pick up their refuse.
What did we find? It was so predictable. Almost all of the trash we collected was cigarette packs, fast food bags, cups, and wrappers, lottery cards, beer bottles and junk food wrappers. All waste created by products and industries that we abstain from entirely. All products of a nation which caters to unhealthy addictions and habits that are literally destroying people. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. It was just one of the many lessons I learned by living in the city.
The county isn't perfect. It's just wealthier and more crafty in hiding its ugliness. One of the most appaling factors of any semi-wealthy neighborhood is the amount of electricity, natural gas, and water they waste, and the insane amount of garbage they produce. Not to mention the increased chance of lawn chemicals being used (after all, the poorer city folk aren't going to bother with that, even if by some chance they actually DO have a patch of grass to call a lawn.) As a delivery person, I can say I have been inside the belly of the beast. And it is more frightening than you might imagine. The American dream comes off a bit more like a nightmare to me... ever since I woke up into the mindset of taking responsibility for my own actions and crafted a higher set of standards for my life.
Even amidst the traffic, pollution, crime, and overall nonsense of living close to the heart of one of the most statistically uninhabitable cities in America, I managed to find peace. I've always told myself that if I cant find happiness within myself in Saint Louis, then I could never truly be happy anywhere. And I can finally say I've passed that test. Living maybe 50 paces from the Missouri Botanical Garden helps, I have to admit. But most of it comes from within. Not only within myself, but within the love Ellen and I share.
And now that I know I've found it here, the idea of picking up and going somewhere else on a whim is far less intimidating.