set the fire to the third bar
I need you to know the pain that I'm going through.
I wish I was exaggerating it, I wish it was a mood swing. But it's not, and I don't think I can hide behind that excuse anymore.
I wake up every morning feeling an ache in my heart, and I'm pretty sure it's not just from missing you.
There's a reason I somehow can't bring myself to do the apps. It feels like signing a one-way ticket away from you, out of whatever we have.
I was so broken before I met you, a mess of a girl who had loved so deeply and had it completely ruined before fucking up everything, including herself. You fixed me without even trying, you showed me everything I deserved (and everything I didn't). It's so clichéd to say that this time is so different from the last, but I will say it - only because it's true.
And just when it all couldn't be more perfect, it feels like there's an end in sight. We try to convince ourselves "we'll try/ we can make it work" But how much do you actually believe in that? Can you wait 7 years for me to come home? And even if we can, we probably shouldn't. I don't want to put you through this for that length of time, and the truth is I don't think I can take this pain for 7 fucking years either. It is painful but this is the truth - I don't want to be here. I like being there, but that means losing you. And I always said I wouldn't be that girl who would give up ambitions for love, and yet here I am, confused as hell. I'm scared of what's to come. I'm so scared that this will send me back to the place I was in before I met you - but worse. I will be utterly destroyed, and once I go down that path I'm afraid there will be no turning back.
But all you need to know is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if at the end of this you'll look back and wish you hadn't wasted so much time, energy, and feelings on something that was bound to end. I'm sorry I can't be that girl for you. I'm sorry if you think I led you on. And most of all, I'm sorry for being such a selfish lover - if only I were strong enough to let you go right now before I hurt you.
I need you so badly right now.
I wish I was exaggerating it, I wish it was a mood swing. But it's not, and I don't think I can hide behind that excuse anymore.
I wake up every morning feeling an ache in my heart, and I'm pretty sure it's not just from missing you.
There's a reason I somehow can't bring myself to do the apps. It feels like signing a one-way ticket away from you, out of whatever we have.
I was so broken before I met you, a mess of a girl who had loved so deeply and had it completely ruined before fucking up everything, including herself. You fixed me without even trying, you showed me everything I deserved (and everything I didn't). It's so clichéd to say that this time is so different from the last, but I will say it - only because it's true.
And just when it all couldn't be more perfect, it feels like there's an end in sight. We try to convince ourselves "we'll try/ we can make it work" But how much do you actually believe in that? Can you wait 7 years for me to come home? And even if we can, we probably shouldn't. I don't want to put you through this for that length of time, and the truth is I don't think I can take this pain for 7 fucking years either. It is painful but this is the truth - I don't want to be here. I like being there, but that means losing you. And I always said I wouldn't be that girl who would give up ambitions for love, and yet here I am, confused as hell. I'm scared of what's to come. I'm so scared that this will send me back to the place I was in before I met you - but worse. I will be utterly destroyed, and once I go down that path I'm afraid there will be no turning back.
But all you need to know is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if at the end of this you'll look back and wish you hadn't wasted so much time, energy, and feelings on something that was bound to end. I'm sorry I can't be that girl for you. I'm sorry if you think I led you on. And most of all, I'm sorry for being such a selfish lover - if only I were strong enough to let you go right now before I hurt you.
I need you so badly right now.