Draco/Hermione... 'Tis Time To Say Goodbye
My Draco/Hermione exchange fic is in. And the whole process was surprisingly disaster-free. I actually got it written pretty early on but kind of mulled over the ending for a long while. I think it was trying very hard to be something it wasn’t. I argued with myself over whether to let it be or to give it the ending that I felt was more fitting for the characters and the story and I went with the latter. It felt more natural for me to end it like I did, and I think part of that came from the realisation that… well, I think I’ve said all I need to with this pairing. There’s very little else I want to explore as a writer when it comes to these two, but then… that’s how it happens, isn’t it? That’s how fandoms die sometimes.
I wrote my first Draco/Hermione fic back in 2005. A Killing Grace is probably one of my longest fics to date and the response I got to it was pretty incredible. I still get the occasional comment six years on and it always reminds me of how awesome it feels to be part of a new fandom and writing that very first fic. It’s nerve-wracking and exciting and you never quite know if you’ve hit the mark with a story or missed it completely until you get it out there.
I’ve always been a fan of post-Hogwarts fic, set years after the events of the books, when the characters are a little more grown, maybe even a little more cynical. For my own fics I tended to shy away from the wizardry of the books and focused more on the characters themselves. My original incarnation of Draco Malfoy as an assassin was an idea that I carried through to most of my other work, though the premise varied slightly with each. I definitely made the conscious decision to ground him more in the Muggle world, sometimes living or working by Muggle means, because I’ve always enjoyed exploring Draco’s character outside the privilege and ceremony of his upbringing. I’ve always wanted him to be more than he was at Hogwarts, not necessarily redeemed, not even necessarily good or honourable, just a little more… developed.
I originally started reading Draco/Hermione fic because I wanted to see Draco’s character more fleshed out, less whiney schoolboy with a petty grudge and more man suffering through moral and personal dilemmas, struggling to take control of his life in a way he never really did in Hogwarts.
And I read some incredible fics during my time in fandom. I think the ones that have stuck with me the most has to be bk11’s collection of hard-hitting and brutally honest Harry Potter fics. While some involved in the fandom were throwing around the term Mudblood like an endearment or an inside joke, bk11 was writing raw, unapologetic character studies that explored the inherent racism and hatred that was barely acknowledged in the books. Sometimes they read light but they always, always lingered heavily, and when a writer has that kind of impact you’re reminded why fandom and fanfic are an experience within themselves.
Six years on and I’m no longer really a part of the fandom. I haven’t read the books in a very long time, I barely remember what happened in the final instalment and I don’t even recall how many of the films I’ve actually seen. Deathly Hallows was not, and still isn’t, at the top of my To Watch list and after writing this latest fic I’ve realised I’m just not as invested as I used to be.
I don’t know if my lack of interest is specific to the Harry Potter fandom or whether I’m just feeling that way about fandom in general. I’m not as involved as I used to be. I don’t find myself bombarded by plot bunnies like I once did. I very rarely read fic anymore, despite my current gorge-fest over at WRFA. I still enjoy the writing part, the process of it, the feedback, but it’s been a long while since a fandom (or even just a pairing) has given me the writing bug. Although there is that Wolverine/Rogue fic just sitting there and… well, we’ll see.
I wrote my first Draco/Hermione fic back in 2005. A Killing Grace is probably one of my longest fics to date and the response I got to it was pretty incredible. I still get the occasional comment six years on and it always reminds me of how awesome it feels to be part of a new fandom and writing that very first fic. It’s nerve-wracking and exciting and you never quite know if you’ve hit the mark with a story or missed it completely until you get it out there.
I’ve always been a fan of post-Hogwarts fic, set years after the events of the books, when the characters are a little more grown, maybe even a little more cynical. For my own fics I tended to shy away from the wizardry of the books and focused more on the characters themselves. My original incarnation of Draco Malfoy as an assassin was an idea that I carried through to most of my other work, though the premise varied slightly with each. I definitely made the conscious decision to ground him more in the Muggle world, sometimes living or working by Muggle means, because I’ve always enjoyed exploring Draco’s character outside the privilege and ceremony of his upbringing. I’ve always wanted him to be more than he was at Hogwarts, not necessarily redeemed, not even necessarily good or honourable, just a little more… developed.
I originally started reading Draco/Hermione fic because I wanted to see Draco’s character more fleshed out, less whiney schoolboy with a petty grudge and more man suffering through moral and personal dilemmas, struggling to take control of his life in a way he never really did in Hogwarts.
And I read some incredible fics during my time in fandom. I think the ones that have stuck with me the most has to be bk11’s collection of hard-hitting and brutally honest Harry Potter fics. While some involved in the fandom were throwing around the term Mudblood like an endearment or an inside joke, bk11 was writing raw, unapologetic character studies that explored the inherent racism and hatred that was barely acknowledged in the books. Sometimes they read light but they always, always lingered heavily, and when a writer has that kind of impact you’re reminded why fandom and fanfic are an experience within themselves.
Six years on and I’m no longer really a part of the fandom. I haven’t read the books in a very long time, I barely remember what happened in the final instalment and I don’t even recall how many of the films I’ve actually seen. Deathly Hallows was not, and still isn’t, at the top of my To Watch list and after writing this latest fic I’ve realised I’m just not as invested as I used to be.
I don’t know if my lack of interest is specific to the Harry Potter fandom or whether I’m just feeling that way about fandom in general. I’m not as involved as I used to be. I don’t find myself bombarded by plot bunnies like I once did. I very rarely read fic anymore, despite my current gorge-fest over at WRFA. I still enjoy the writing part, the process of it, the feedback, but it’s been a long while since a fandom (or even just a pairing) has given me the writing bug. Although there is that Wolverine/Rogue fic just sitting there and… well, we’ll see.