The Catalyst...
Pertaining to the situation or status of being catalyzed, relating to the action of a catalyst...
I started this entry a couple weeks back, so if some of the references don’t make as much sense, just adjust accordingly… Several months, hell, probably close to a year ago now, for sake of argument, we will go ahead and refer to this period of time as "the darkness". I was still in school, the COVID pandemic was really buckling down, or rather, the draconian orders of an oligarchic despot named Gretchen Whitmer. We couldn't go out to eat, because we will surely die. We couldn't buy paint or plants, because again, certain death, and not just for us evil wicked Trump supporters, but all the grandmothers in the world. That's right, you want to go to a restaurant, you might as well pop granny in the back of the head or push her off a cliff, because you're KILLING GRANDMA. Seriously, this was a thing, and not all that long ago... Anyway. I suppose I should back up and give some context. In every circle of friends or family, there is that one person who usually ends up being the one to make a decision in a group setting. There's discussion, there's debate, but invariably, what that person wants is usually what the group will end up going along with. Not to say that they're ruling with an iron fist or anything like that, but they're just the more assertive one, maybe they're older, maybe they're more successful, whatever. It's not a negative thing by any means, it's just the nature of social group dynamics. Families have patriarchs or matriarchs who do the same thing. And I was never that person. As far as my family goes, I've still got both my parents, and a grandmother, so they take that role in whatever form. And in my circle of friends, I've always been more of the one to go along with. Contributing like crazy, but not that guy to say "this is what I want, so this is what we're doing"... And again, that statement is a little more harsh than befits the situation, but I’m going with it only because I don’t feel like taking the time to quantify it any better than that.
Fast-forward to me finding out, hell, I think it was on our local Fox news outlet, that there was this thing called Unlock Michigan. And it was a group of people who were circulating a petition to shitcan the 1945 law that the governor said gave her the power to do whatever she wanted in the event of a crisis... Now, remember, our Constitution starts with the words "we the people"... Not "I the Empress". Nor does it say "unless some shit goes down, in which case, all power goes to the central government"... Remember, the people who wrote this thing hadn't just gotten back from a camping trip, they fought a fucking war of independence to get away from precisely that; an all-powerful central government ruled by a single authoritarian figure, in this case, King George III. But anyway. I was intrigued. Considering that this lady was systematically destroying the state's economy, countless livelihoods, and my rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, all for the sake of one of the least lethal pandemics or epidemics we have ever faced in the last hundred years, well, again, I was quite interested, and wished to know more. So I found that there was a tri-county signing event at a little gun store in Sterling Heights. So I texted my family and my friends, and we went out there and signed the petition... And I bought my first handgun. So did my brother. And my mom bought one as well. And it was pretty damn cool, because it was a friendly place where you didn't need to wear a face-diaper, even though it was THE LAW... Long story short, we fast-forward to us going out to another gun store in New Hudson, which is on the other side of the county, to sign the Recall Whitmer petition. And they had a restaurant, and it was open (even though, again, killing grandma, and THE LAW said it should be closed), so not only did we sign the petition, we had a delicious lunch. And this all culminated in a variety of things, four of us getting our CPLs, multiple more gun purchases, lovely day trips as a family to the shooting range to practice our skills, and finally, just this week, although the recall petition didn't go anywhere (but it's being rebooted, more to come this fall), the Unlock Michigan petition was released, approved by the state Senate, and approved by the state House. Now, in Michigan at least, in the event of a citizen-led initiative, i.e., a certified petition, the Legislature can and has to do one of two things. They can send it off to the voters on the next ballot, or they can take action, and in the case of the latter, this action CANNOT be vetoed by the Governor. So what does all this mean? It means that we won. Not the war, but an important battle. The 1945 law has been repealed.
Oh, but it was already found to be unconstitutional by the state Supreme Court, so this doesn't mean anything, this is just politicking and a waste of time... Understand this. One set of justices might find it unconstitutional, but in a few years, another set of justices, perhaps more left-leaning, might just as easily declare that it IS constitutional. Which makes no sense, it either is or it isn't, but that's the nature of the system within whose constraints we are playing. So travesty of justice that it is, the concept of unconstitutional is not as permanent as you would think it should be! We’ve now come to the point where I left off; it is the 8th of August, and there was a very unexpected thunderstorm this morning, very noisy, lots of rain, all good things, but considering that there was a zero chance of rain last night, yeah… Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t have the top down on my Jeep, not that I could anyway, because I still haven’t swapped them out, and at this rate, I don’t think I’m going to this year. This year is, I guess, sort of a rebuilding year, in which I am still working at getting into the headspace of not being in school anymore, my nights and weekends are just that, my nights and weekends. And right now, I’m not yet using them to my fullest; I would like to walk more, go places, do things, hit the gym, all that jazz. But I know I’ll get there, I just went through six years of hell, with COVID on top of it, so while I certainly don’t plan to milk it forever, I’d say I deserve a break today!
But yeah, the catalyst thing. I just found it very interesting that I came to realize that I did that… I dragged us all out of the house, and look what happened… I suppose the same could be said with trivia, we happened to be there, it was a lot of fun, now we have a rotating core group of six at minimum! Even when a friend made a MASSIVE, life-changing financial decision, not that I would be anywhere near as self-involved to say that it was ME that made his mind up for him, but the statement was made “I kept thinking back to what you said”… I mean, man, that’s not insignificant! But that’s also not outside the realm of my doing; while I’m usually not the influencer, or the catalyst, at least, not as overtly, I have been a long-time source of information and counsel; I am a good listener, and I think very pragmatically about most things. I tend to give very good advice to people who ask for it. To sit there and realize just how much, how many decisions and choices and above all else, ACTIONS have butterfly-effected themselves because of a little nudge from me, again, that’s really quite something, something special indeed. And I suppose I’m noticing that, because I’m noticing me more and more right now. See this, this right here, this is why having a job and a purpose is so damned important, because of the self worth and self-confidence that it brings…
One of my dear friends is riding the unemployment train, and it’s like, even if it’s not about the money, putting the money completely out of it, a job gives you that stability and purpose. To wake up at a certain time, to perform structured rituals, to put on clean clothes and put your best foot forward. To socialize and interact with other people, and perhaps above all else, to provide a means of support for yourself and your family. Because that too is a catalytic function. Like, I work, quite hard at my job. Hard enough that I was recognized with a beaucoup promotion, and a fat raise with it. No false modesty here, for the quality and quantity of the work that I do, and the effort that I put in, and the things that I get done, and just a whole myriad of other reasons, I deserve every cent of it. So my hard work paid off. And before that point, we were doing pretty well to begin with, it wasn’t like I made shit, and we have two incomes, and we have not yet been blessed with kids… It’s the difference between surviving and thriving, and while we were already in the latter category, now we’re doing more of it. I got an in-ground sprinkler system, for crying out loud, and those aren’t cheap, for those in the back, we’re talking a couple THOUSAND dollars. And that was totally a want, not a need, but again, the difference between surviving and thriving. I have always wanted one. Because I keep a nice lawn. And probably because, somewhere inside, it is a symbol of relative affluence, like when you go to the grocery store and you can buy name brand products instead of store-brand… It’s not a “look at me, look at me” thing, but more of a “people who are doing well for themselves have one of these, and now I do too, so that must mean… yeah”. It’s a benchmark, there’s the word. A benchmark of a certain level of success in your adult life, and it’s a benchmark that I have attained, and that’s really pretty damned cool. A symbol is representative, and it is that too, but much more so, a benchmark.
Point is, I work hard, and then I get to come home, and it’s just… It’s a combination of being aware of all of my blessings, our blessings, and also the freedom of choice that we have, and please don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting here saying money is no object, because it very much is… There’s a reason I’m sitting here on a laptop (albeit a nice one), instead of on a custom-build gaming rig. A reason there’s not a new Jeep Gladiator in the driveway, but instead an 11 year old Wrangler, and a 16 year old Prius, with over a quarter of a million miles between the two of them. And I’m not sitting here with the intention of rubbing my “wealth” in anyone’s face, flaunting the things that I have, but I’m also no longer in the business of downplaying or attempting to hide it, because I’m at a point in my life where I have some nice things, quite a few of them, (and they’re not just things, not just possessions), because I’ve worked hard for them, and I’ve made the right decisions (and plenty of the wrong ones), and I’ve paid my dues, and it’s worked out for me, and I’m doing very well, thank you for asking! And you can have this too, we’re talking textbook American Dream shit here, it’s not instant, it’s not easy, and nobody’s going to give it to you, but if you work for it, and you want it, well, be it, don’t dream it! So. There are several levels, and trust me, I’ve lived through them all. We look at last night’s dinner as a tangible example.
First level: there’s nothing to eat. And I mean, like, you’re eating cheerios with half and half, a PB&J on a hamburger bun, spaghetti and ketchup, because you’re out of the basic elements of food. Been there, done that, and not so long ago that I don’t remember. When you’re unemployed, but you make too much to qualify for food assistance because you’re maxed out on unemployment, well, enter austerity and credit card debt just to keep the lights on.
Second level: I don’t want what’s in the house to eat. There’s actual food in the house, there might be mac and cheese, there might be ramen noodles, there might be a frozen something. You’re not so hard up that you’re having to substitute food items for others, but you’re burned out on what you have. Eating out is not an option. Again, been there, done that. You have a craving for something, but guess what, that something is not in the house, and it’s not payday either.
Third level: I don’t really feel like cooking, but I can’t afford to go out to eat right now. Now we’re getting there. You’ve got food, plenty of it, but for whatever reason, you’d rather go out, or get a pizza delivered, or swing through the drive-through at Taco Bell, but that’s just not in the cards right now, because it’s the end of the month, the rent is due, and you’re a little light on pocket money to justify the expense.
Fourth level: I don’t feel like cooking, so let’s go out. Basically at this point, you’ve got all your options available to you, which is that freedom of choice that I mentioned earlier (no, this blog does NOT advocate on-demand abortions when we reach the point that we have sprinkler system money, get your head out of the gutter)! My wife had just gotten back from the grocery store, and I had a plan in mind for dinner that involved a bit of slicing and chopping, and waiting for the amazing air-frying oven to prepare the hot components of the meal. Pretty easy. But I worked from 6:00 AM Friday to 12:30 AM Saturday. Straight through. I was pretty gassed yesterday, so even though we had a house full of food AND dinner already planned out, well, guess what, we started looking at our options. Now, we don’t do the doordash thing; I suppose we could add that as a fifth level, that you’re so bougie you get Taco Bell delivered to your door, yeah, not quite there yet. But we’re looking at pizza, or Jimmy John’s, or we could go pick up Chinese… And that ended up being the winner, I ordered it, she picked it up, we did Young’s in Royal Oak, and as always, it was SO deliciously good! But yeah. That was our ‘hardship’, and I use the term as loosely as one can, that we had all of these eating-out options, nevermind what’s in the house, and we had to pick one.
But that’s what I’m getting to here. I’m not being boastful, nor am I saying money is no object. I’m not, and it is. But we are at a point in our life where our choices are much less constrained by it. Got the sprinkler system, that’s been a bucket list item for YEARS. Flowers, lawn, gardens, it all looks good. Vehicles are running well, and look good too. Every lamp and fixture has a working light bulb, we have nice dishes and cookware, and a house full of delicious food. All of our appliances work, and work well. Not to go “Carousel of Progress” on you, but my oh my, all these modern conveniences… Over the course of yesterday, laundry was doing itself, the dishes were doing themselves, the lawn had watered itself (including the special zone just for the vegetable garden), the lawn mower was really doing all the work on the lawn; I just had to push it around, and the bastard’s even self-propelled! We have inherited or bought, and subsequently maintained, high quality appliances, and I mean mid-range; Kenmore and Craftsman, not Bosch or Viking, and in doing so, they take care of us. The house is a pleasant 72 degrees, except the bedroom which is 68 when we sleep. Air purifiers are keeping dust and pollens down. Flip a switch, we’ve got lights, turn a faucet, we’ve got hot and cold running water, flush the toilet, and everything just goes down and away. And I’ve mentioned all this before, and it’s like, yeah, you don’t live in 1860, what of it? It’s the fact that I’m AWARE of these things. Because these are all blessings, even in this day and age. You go to the cabin, you don’t have running water. You live in Dearborn Heights, and your basement got flooded, guess what, you don’t have air conditioning, hot water, or laundry appliances. You have a collapsed sewer lateral, and don’t have the 7,000 or so required to fix it, guess what, you flush the toilet, and you cross your fingers and pray God that it doesn’t come right back up in the bathtub. Everything costs money, everything takes maintenance. Our roof leaks around the chimney flashing, we are getting a new roof, two weeks from Wednesday. And that’s expensive, and no, I can’t just sit down and write a check for it, but we are able to get it done. The point is, even though we are able to have and do all of these things, I don’t take them for granted, because a lot of sweat equity went into them.
When I have worked my tail off, and I come home late, and I am sore, and tired, and feeling every one of my 38 years I’ve been on this planet so far, I’ve got a couple options. One of them is looking at all the things I have, and that reminds me that it’s all worth it, that the work I have put in HAS paid off. The other is to sit down with my wife, and plan for the future, even if that future is five minutes later when we go out to a nice dinner at a somewhat fancy restaurant. Seriously, dinner, dessert, and a couple drinks at Boodles, you’re talking a hundred dollar dinner if you tip it out well. But that all goes to remind me that the work I have put in WILL pay off. Because we are making plans for the future. A nice dinner. A camping trip. A purchase. An activity. Today, we are going to Shakespeare in the Park with Heather and Tom, I believe Kyle is tagging along as well, and it’s just going to be great, I’m sure. That’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and never have, and now I’m doing it. And it costs money, of course, everything costs money, but we can afford it, so we’re doing it. And again, as we made those plans, that was an acknowledgement that the hard work I have put in WILL pay off, because in like seven hours, we’ll be enjoying entertainment. But it’s not just about all that, it’s not just about the life support and the leisure activities, it’s also about the stability. I double-paid every one of my credit cards this cycle. I mean, that’s huge! I have been burning down the debt, because I don’t want to be saddled with it any longer than I have to. And that’s not to say that it’s all going away, I’m financing the new roof, and sister, that ain’t cheap. I’ve got student loans coming due the day after Christmas, although I think this new forbearance puts them off, what, four days until the new year, oh boy!
It is… It’s the satisfaction of working hard and EARNING your just desserts. Not having them just appear, not having them given to you by the hard work and graft of other people, not sucking off the government bosom, YOU putting in the effort for the things YOU want, and then YOU getting to enjoy them. And again, that’s so much more than monetary, it really is, it’s about self- worth and self-respect. The fact that I can sit there and drop a Benjamin on dinner, only for us to lean back in our chairs, take it all in, and say “wow, this is really nice, I’m really enjoying this”, that is priceless. Especially after a hard day’s work. To sit back in the backyard with the morning coffee, and just take it all in, and say “wow, this is really perfect back here”. You see, it’s equal parts working for these things, and appreciating the things you have. It’s part of my purpose. In life, we are all working toward something, even if we don’t know what that thing is, and as we get closer and closer to that something, it is intrinsically motivating. It’s not about the THINGS, it’s about the work and subsequent accomplishment that they represent, that’s what it’s all about. And when you don’t have that, well, I have to believe you would be pretty empty inside. I mean, I have to believe through my writing, you get the idea that I am extremely satisfied right now, with everything I have worked so hard to achieve. Compare this to someone who is merely surviving, who has the minimum standard, and again, who has these things coming to them just because, not through anything they’ve done… We’re all different people, we all have different motivations and things that make us tick, but generally, I’d say you’re probably much less satisfied than you would be otherwise. And by association, probably much more miserable.
Quote of the Day: "Everything's coming up roses!"
or
"I'm gonna make it after all!"
I started this entry a couple weeks back, so if some of the references don’t make as much sense, just adjust accordingly… Several months, hell, probably close to a year ago now, for sake of argument, we will go ahead and refer to this period of time as "the darkness". I was still in school, the COVID pandemic was really buckling down, or rather, the draconian orders of an oligarchic despot named Gretchen Whitmer. We couldn't go out to eat, because we will surely die. We couldn't buy paint or plants, because again, certain death, and not just for us evil wicked Trump supporters, but all the grandmothers in the world. That's right, you want to go to a restaurant, you might as well pop granny in the back of the head or push her off a cliff, because you're KILLING GRANDMA. Seriously, this was a thing, and not all that long ago... Anyway. I suppose I should back up and give some context. In every circle of friends or family, there is that one person who usually ends up being the one to make a decision in a group setting. There's discussion, there's debate, but invariably, what that person wants is usually what the group will end up going along with. Not to say that they're ruling with an iron fist or anything like that, but they're just the more assertive one, maybe they're older, maybe they're more successful, whatever. It's not a negative thing by any means, it's just the nature of social group dynamics. Families have patriarchs or matriarchs who do the same thing. And I was never that person. As far as my family goes, I've still got both my parents, and a grandmother, so they take that role in whatever form. And in my circle of friends, I've always been more of the one to go along with. Contributing like crazy, but not that guy to say "this is what I want, so this is what we're doing"... And again, that statement is a little more harsh than befits the situation, but I’m going with it only because I don’t feel like taking the time to quantify it any better than that.
Fast-forward to me finding out, hell, I think it was on our local Fox news outlet, that there was this thing called Unlock Michigan. And it was a group of people who were circulating a petition to shitcan the 1945 law that the governor said gave her the power to do whatever she wanted in the event of a crisis... Now, remember, our Constitution starts with the words "we the people"... Not "I the Empress". Nor does it say "unless some shit goes down, in which case, all power goes to the central government"... Remember, the people who wrote this thing hadn't just gotten back from a camping trip, they fought a fucking war of independence to get away from precisely that; an all-powerful central government ruled by a single authoritarian figure, in this case, King George III. But anyway. I was intrigued. Considering that this lady was systematically destroying the state's economy, countless livelihoods, and my rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, all for the sake of one of the least lethal pandemics or epidemics we have ever faced in the last hundred years, well, again, I was quite interested, and wished to know more. So I found that there was a tri-county signing event at a little gun store in Sterling Heights. So I texted my family and my friends, and we went out there and signed the petition... And I bought my first handgun. So did my brother. And my mom bought one as well. And it was pretty damn cool, because it was a friendly place where you didn't need to wear a face-diaper, even though it was THE LAW... Long story short, we fast-forward to us going out to another gun store in New Hudson, which is on the other side of the county, to sign the Recall Whitmer petition. And they had a restaurant, and it was open (even though, again, killing grandma, and THE LAW said it should be closed), so not only did we sign the petition, we had a delicious lunch. And this all culminated in a variety of things, four of us getting our CPLs, multiple more gun purchases, lovely day trips as a family to the shooting range to practice our skills, and finally, just this week, although the recall petition didn't go anywhere (but it's being rebooted, more to come this fall), the Unlock Michigan petition was released, approved by the state Senate, and approved by the state House. Now, in Michigan at least, in the event of a citizen-led initiative, i.e., a certified petition, the Legislature can and has to do one of two things. They can send it off to the voters on the next ballot, or they can take action, and in the case of the latter, this action CANNOT be vetoed by the Governor. So what does all this mean? It means that we won. Not the war, but an important battle. The 1945 law has been repealed.
Oh, but it was already found to be unconstitutional by the state Supreme Court, so this doesn't mean anything, this is just politicking and a waste of time... Understand this. One set of justices might find it unconstitutional, but in a few years, another set of justices, perhaps more left-leaning, might just as easily declare that it IS constitutional. Which makes no sense, it either is or it isn't, but that's the nature of the system within whose constraints we are playing. So travesty of justice that it is, the concept of unconstitutional is not as permanent as you would think it should be! We’ve now come to the point where I left off; it is the 8th of August, and there was a very unexpected thunderstorm this morning, very noisy, lots of rain, all good things, but considering that there was a zero chance of rain last night, yeah… Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t have the top down on my Jeep, not that I could anyway, because I still haven’t swapped them out, and at this rate, I don’t think I’m going to this year. This year is, I guess, sort of a rebuilding year, in which I am still working at getting into the headspace of not being in school anymore, my nights and weekends are just that, my nights and weekends. And right now, I’m not yet using them to my fullest; I would like to walk more, go places, do things, hit the gym, all that jazz. But I know I’ll get there, I just went through six years of hell, with COVID on top of it, so while I certainly don’t plan to milk it forever, I’d say I deserve a break today!
But yeah, the catalyst thing. I just found it very interesting that I came to realize that I did that… I dragged us all out of the house, and look what happened… I suppose the same could be said with trivia, we happened to be there, it was a lot of fun, now we have a rotating core group of six at minimum! Even when a friend made a MASSIVE, life-changing financial decision, not that I would be anywhere near as self-involved to say that it was ME that made his mind up for him, but the statement was made “I kept thinking back to what you said”… I mean, man, that’s not insignificant! But that’s also not outside the realm of my doing; while I’m usually not the influencer, or the catalyst, at least, not as overtly, I have been a long-time source of information and counsel; I am a good listener, and I think very pragmatically about most things. I tend to give very good advice to people who ask for it. To sit there and realize just how much, how many decisions and choices and above all else, ACTIONS have butterfly-effected themselves because of a little nudge from me, again, that’s really quite something, something special indeed. And I suppose I’m noticing that, because I’m noticing me more and more right now. See this, this right here, this is why having a job and a purpose is so damned important, because of the self worth and self-confidence that it brings…
One of my dear friends is riding the unemployment train, and it’s like, even if it’s not about the money, putting the money completely out of it, a job gives you that stability and purpose. To wake up at a certain time, to perform structured rituals, to put on clean clothes and put your best foot forward. To socialize and interact with other people, and perhaps above all else, to provide a means of support for yourself and your family. Because that too is a catalytic function. Like, I work, quite hard at my job. Hard enough that I was recognized with a beaucoup promotion, and a fat raise with it. No false modesty here, for the quality and quantity of the work that I do, and the effort that I put in, and the things that I get done, and just a whole myriad of other reasons, I deserve every cent of it. So my hard work paid off. And before that point, we were doing pretty well to begin with, it wasn’t like I made shit, and we have two incomes, and we have not yet been blessed with kids… It’s the difference between surviving and thriving, and while we were already in the latter category, now we’re doing more of it. I got an in-ground sprinkler system, for crying out loud, and those aren’t cheap, for those in the back, we’re talking a couple THOUSAND dollars. And that was totally a want, not a need, but again, the difference between surviving and thriving. I have always wanted one. Because I keep a nice lawn. And probably because, somewhere inside, it is a symbol of relative affluence, like when you go to the grocery store and you can buy name brand products instead of store-brand… It’s not a “look at me, look at me” thing, but more of a “people who are doing well for themselves have one of these, and now I do too, so that must mean… yeah”. It’s a benchmark, there’s the word. A benchmark of a certain level of success in your adult life, and it’s a benchmark that I have attained, and that’s really pretty damned cool. A symbol is representative, and it is that too, but much more so, a benchmark.
Point is, I work hard, and then I get to come home, and it’s just… It’s a combination of being aware of all of my blessings, our blessings, and also the freedom of choice that we have, and please don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting here saying money is no object, because it very much is… There’s a reason I’m sitting here on a laptop (albeit a nice one), instead of on a custom-build gaming rig. A reason there’s not a new Jeep Gladiator in the driveway, but instead an 11 year old Wrangler, and a 16 year old Prius, with over a quarter of a million miles between the two of them. And I’m not sitting here with the intention of rubbing my “wealth” in anyone’s face, flaunting the things that I have, but I’m also no longer in the business of downplaying or attempting to hide it, because I’m at a point in my life where I have some nice things, quite a few of them, (and they’re not just things, not just possessions), because I’ve worked hard for them, and I’ve made the right decisions (and plenty of the wrong ones), and I’ve paid my dues, and it’s worked out for me, and I’m doing very well, thank you for asking! And you can have this too, we’re talking textbook American Dream shit here, it’s not instant, it’s not easy, and nobody’s going to give it to you, but if you work for it, and you want it, well, be it, don’t dream it! So. There are several levels, and trust me, I’ve lived through them all. We look at last night’s dinner as a tangible example.
First level: there’s nothing to eat. And I mean, like, you’re eating cheerios with half and half, a PB&J on a hamburger bun, spaghetti and ketchup, because you’re out of the basic elements of food. Been there, done that, and not so long ago that I don’t remember. When you’re unemployed, but you make too much to qualify for food assistance because you’re maxed out on unemployment, well, enter austerity and credit card debt just to keep the lights on.
Second level: I don’t want what’s in the house to eat. There’s actual food in the house, there might be mac and cheese, there might be ramen noodles, there might be a frozen something. You’re not so hard up that you’re having to substitute food items for others, but you’re burned out on what you have. Eating out is not an option. Again, been there, done that. You have a craving for something, but guess what, that something is not in the house, and it’s not payday either.
Third level: I don’t really feel like cooking, but I can’t afford to go out to eat right now. Now we’re getting there. You’ve got food, plenty of it, but for whatever reason, you’d rather go out, or get a pizza delivered, or swing through the drive-through at Taco Bell, but that’s just not in the cards right now, because it’s the end of the month, the rent is due, and you’re a little light on pocket money to justify the expense.
Fourth level: I don’t feel like cooking, so let’s go out. Basically at this point, you’ve got all your options available to you, which is that freedom of choice that I mentioned earlier (no, this blog does NOT advocate on-demand abortions when we reach the point that we have sprinkler system money, get your head out of the gutter)! My wife had just gotten back from the grocery store, and I had a plan in mind for dinner that involved a bit of slicing and chopping, and waiting for the amazing air-frying oven to prepare the hot components of the meal. Pretty easy. But I worked from 6:00 AM Friday to 12:30 AM Saturday. Straight through. I was pretty gassed yesterday, so even though we had a house full of food AND dinner already planned out, well, guess what, we started looking at our options. Now, we don’t do the doordash thing; I suppose we could add that as a fifth level, that you’re so bougie you get Taco Bell delivered to your door, yeah, not quite there yet. But we’re looking at pizza, or Jimmy John’s, or we could go pick up Chinese… And that ended up being the winner, I ordered it, she picked it up, we did Young’s in Royal Oak, and as always, it was SO deliciously good! But yeah. That was our ‘hardship’, and I use the term as loosely as one can, that we had all of these eating-out options, nevermind what’s in the house, and we had to pick one.
But that’s what I’m getting to here. I’m not being boastful, nor am I saying money is no object. I’m not, and it is. But we are at a point in our life where our choices are much less constrained by it. Got the sprinkler system, that’s been a bucket list item for YEARS. Flowers, lawn, gardens, it all looks good. Vehicles are running well, and look good too. Every lamp and fixture has a working light bulb, we have nice dishes and cookware, and a house full of delicious food. All of our appliances work, and work well. Not to go “Carousel of Progress” on you, but my oh my, all these modern conveniences… Over the course of yesterday, laundry was doing itself, the dishes were doing themselves, the lawn had watered itself (including the special zone just for the vegetable garden), the lawn mower was really doing all the work on the lawn; I just had to push it around, and the bastard’s even self-propelled! We have inherited or bought, and subsequently maintained, high quality appliances, and I mean mid-range; Kenmore and Craftsman, not Bosch or Viking, and in doing so, they take care of us. The house is a pleasant 72 degrees, except the bedroom which is 68 when we sleep. Air purifiers are keeping dust and pollens down. Flip a switch, we’ve got lights, turn a faucet, we’ve got hot and cold running water, flush the toilet, and everything just goes down and away. And I’ve mentioned all this before, and it’s like, yeah, you don’t live in 1860, what of it? It’s the fact that I’m AWARE of these things. Because these are all blessings, even in this day and age. You go to the cabin, you don’t have running water. You live in Dearborn Heights, and your basement got flooded, guess what, you don’t have air conditioning, hot water, or laundry appliances. You have a collapsed sewer lateral, and don’t have the 7,000 or so required to fix it, guess what, you flush the toilet, and you cross your fingers and pray God that it doesn’t come right back up in the bathtub. Everything costs money, everything takes maintenance. Our roof leaks around the chimney flashing, we are getting a new roof, two weeks from Wednesday. And that’s expensive, and no, I can’t just sit down and write a check for it, but we are able to get it done. The point is, even though we are able to have and do all of these things, I don’t take them for granted, because a lot of sweat equity went into them.
When I have worked my tail off, and I come home late, and I am sore, and tired, and feeling every one of my 38 years I’ve been on this planet so far, I’ve got a couple options. One of them is looking at all the things I have, and that reminds me that it’s all worth it, that the work I have put in HAS paid off. The other is to sit down with my wife, and plan for the future, even if that future is five minutes later when we go out to a nice dinner at a somewhat fancy restaurant. Seriously, dinner, dessert, and a couple drinks at Boodles, you’re talking a hundred dollar dinner if you tip it out well. But that all goes to remind me that the work I have put in WILL pay off. Because we are making plans for the future. A nice dinner. A camping trip. A purchase. An activity. Today, we are going to Shakespeare in the Park with Heather and Tom, I believe Kyle is tagging along as well, and it’s just going to be great, I’m sure. That’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and never have, and now I’m doing it. And it costs money, of course, everything costs money, but we can afford it, so we’re doing it. And again, as we made those plans, that was an acknowledgement that the hard work I have put in WILL pay off, because in like seven hours, we’ll be enjoying entertainment. But it’s not just about all that, it’s not just about the life support and the leisure activities, it’s also about the stability. I double-paid every one of my credit cards this cycle. I mean, that’s huge! I have been burning down the debt, because I don’t want to be saddled with it any longer than I have to. And that’s not to say that it’s all going away, I’m financing the new roof, and sister, that ain’t cheap. I’ve got student loans coming due the day after Christmas, although I think this new forbearance puts them off, what, four days until the new year, oh boy!
It is… It’s the satisfaction of working hard and EARNING your just desserts. Not having them just appear, not having them given to you by the hard work and graft of other people, not sucking off the government bosom, YOU putting in the effort for the things YOU want, and then YOU getting to enjoy them. And again, that’s so much more than monetary, it really is, it’s about self- worth and self-respect. The fact that I can sit there and drop a Benjamin on dinner, only for us to lean back in our chairs, take it all in, and say “wow, this is really nice, I’m really enjoying this”, that is priceless. Especially after a hard day’s work. To sit back in the backyard with the morning coffee, and just take it all in, and say “wow, this is really perfect back here”. You see, it’s equal parts working for these things, and appreciating the things you have. It’s part of my purpose. In life, we are all working toward something, even if we don’t know what that thing is, and as we get closer and closer to that something, it is intrinsically motivating. It’s not about the THINGS, it’s about the work and subsequent accomplishment that they represent, that’s what it’s all about. And when you don’t have that, well, I have to believe you would be pretty empty inside. I mean, I have to believe through my writing, you get the idea that I am extremely satisfied right now, with everything I have worked so hard to achieve. Compare this to someone who is merely surviving, who has the minimum standard, and again, who has these things coming to them just because, not through anything they’ve done… We’re all different people, we all have different motivations and things that make us tick, but generally, I’d say you’re probably much less satisfied than you would be otherwise. And by association, probably much more miserable.
Quote of the Day: "Everything's coming up roses!"
or
"I'm gonna make it after all!"