sheesh
It's been a while.
Things have been pretty busy. I have decided that I am actually going to make good grades this semester. it's not that my grades all the other semesters have sucked, its just that my grades this semester have sucked big toes. I straight up failed a com law test, and haven't done like 2 or 3 of my spanish class projects. I'm scared that all this is because I'm distracted from all the Scott stuff and from all the sorority drama (don't even get me started).
I went to Texas State (San Marcos, TX) this weekend with the band for the football game. All in all--pretty fun and pretty shitty at the same time. I enjoyed seeing Austin, Tx--I've never been and its freaking awesome--i'm a convert. I'm officially going to be an Austinite when i graduate. How i am going to make this happen will be a different story.
I just want to say, that I am really homesick. I haven't been homesick since I was a Freshman in college. I don't really talk to my parents on the phone that often cause i don't think it does anything for my homesickness, just makes it worse. I miss my parents and my kitties desperately. It would suit me just fine to drop out of school and be around family forever. Then again, this could just be a phase. Maybe it's just cause I feel lonely a lot now. I really don't have anyone. oh sure, there are my roomies and the people at work and in TBS...and of course my boy 'friends.' But still, the human body was made to overcome a lot of things, but lonliness is not one of them. It sucks being lonely. It feels like you have this completely complete world around you but you are no where connected to it. It's like missing someone who's sitting in the same room as you. it's different and weird, and I have no idea how to handle all this. It's affecting everything I do. i'm slacking at work, i'm slacking in school, i'm slacking at home (my apt, i'm not cooking or hanging out as often), i'm slacking as a friend...i'm such a slacker. and NO this journal is not at all meant to attract sympathy, i could care less for sympathy. Instead its just a way for me to see my problems in writing in order for me to realize them and to fix them. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. i'm about ready to curl up in a ball and remove myself from this world. The happy smiles and calm collected attitudes like usualy are just a cover up. This facade is getting difficult to keep up with now. It's starting to show.
Things have been pretty busy. I have decided that I am actually going to make good grades this semester. it's not that my grades all the other semesters have sucked, its just that my grades this semester have sucked big toes. I straight up failed a com law test, and haven't done like 2 or 3 of my spanish class projects. I'm scared that all this is because I'm distracted from all the Scott stuff and from all the sorority drama (don't even get me started).
I went to Texas State (San Marcos, TX) this weekend with the band for the football game. All in all--pretty fun and pretty shitty at the same time. I enjoyed seeing Austin, Tx--I've never been and its freaking awesome--i'm a convert. I'm officially going to be an Austinite when i graduate. How i am going to make this happen will be a different story.
I just want to say, that I am really homesick. I haven't been homesick since I was a Freshman in college. I don't really talk to my parents on the phone that often cause i don't think it does anything for my homesickness, just makes it worse. I miss my parents and my kitties desperately. It would suit me just fine to drop out of school and be around family forever. Then again, this could just be a phase. Maybe it's just cause I feel lonely a lot now. I really don't have anyone. oh sure, there are my roomies and the people at work and in TBS...and of course my boy 'friends.' But still, the human body was made to overcome a lot of things, but lonliness is not one of them. It sucks being lonely. It feels like you have this completely complete world around you but you are no where connected to it. It's like missing someone who's sitting in the same room as you. it's different and weird, and I have no idea how to handle all this. It's affecting everything I do. i'm slacking at work, i'm slacking in school, i'm slacking at home (my apt, i'm not cooking or hanging out as often), i'm slacking as a friend...i'm such a slacker. and NO this journal is not at all meant to attract sympathy, i could care less for sympathy. Instead its just a way for me to see my problems in writing in order for me to realize them and to fix them. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. i'm about ready to curl up in a ball and remove myself from this world. The happy smiles and calm collected attitudes like usualy are just a cover up. This facade is getting difficult to keep up with now. It's starting to show.