No, you're not over it, and don't let that throw you too much. It was someone who'd been important to you years ago, so getting involved again was a big deal. It's not someone you you'd never known before. Makes sense to me.
Sometimes these things just take more time than others. Sometimes (not always) it's sort of good practice. Not the heartbreak part; the letting someone in far enough that they can potentially break your heart.
Are you showing signs of being generally depressed? Are you taking care of yourself, sleeping OK (normally), not doing things that are out of character? If you have any concerns that you're really generally down, maybe try an online depression test and see if that indicates if this is a trigger for something a bit bigger or more general. If that turns out OK, then you can have more confidence this is probably more situational breakup stuff. If there's some cause for concern there, get it checked out for the sake of your general health.
This event was really hard for you, for completely understandable reasons. I think you're normally very buoyant, right? If everyone's had an awful day, let's go do karaoke and have fun and all will be better, that sort of thing? And you really value connecting with people to deal with and redirect emotions? (I don't have a great read on you IRL, but that's my impression.) Sometimes a big heartache hits people like you harder. Kind of like how really competitive athletes can be the worst patients when they are seriously injured, because they're used to running around and hate to rest.
Give yourself some time to heal. If you're really bogging down with this, get some help. But, really, being upset at this event doesn't ping anything out of the ordinary for me. It sounds really, really hard, and it sounds like V did many things to make it harder for you.
the only thing i'd add is that you should use this as a milestone of something difficult that you got through the next time you're faced with a situation that feels overwhelming. you went in with very reasonable expectations and got hit with a far more emotionally difficult situation -- yes, you felt shaky (UNDERSTANDABLE), but you stayed and that is pretty fucking awesome and brave. you are pretty fucking awesome and brave. i will make you a button to remind you :)
Sometimes these things just take more time than others. Sometimes (not always) it's sort of good practice. Not the heartbreak part; the letting someone in far enough that they can potentially break your heart.
Are you showing signs of being generally depressed? Are you taking care of yourself, sleeping OK (normally), not doing things that are out of character? If you have any concerns that you're really generally down, maybe try an online depression test and see if that indicates if this is a trigger for something a bit bigger or more general. If that turns out OK, then you can have more confidence this is probably more situational breakup stuff. If there's some cause for concern there, get it checked out for the sake of your general health.
This event was really hard for you, for completely understandable reasons. I think you're normally very buoyant, right? If everyone's had an awful day, let's go do karaoke and have fun and all will be better, that sort of thing? And you really value connecting with people to deal with and redirect emotions? (I don't have a great read on you IRL, but that's my impression.) Sometimes a big heartache hits people like you harder. Kind of like how really competitive athletes can be the worst patients when they are seriously injured, because they're used to running around and hate to rest.
Give yourself some time to heal. If you're really bogging down with this, get some help. But, really, being upset at this event doesn't ping anything out of the ordinary for me. It sounds really, really hard, and it sounds like V did many things to make it harder for you.
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Because yes.
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the only thing i'd add is that you should use this as a milestone of something difficult that you got through the next time you're faced with a situation that feels overwhelming. you went in with very reasonable expectations and got hit with a far more emotionally difficult situation -- yes, you felt shaky (UNDERSTANDABLE), but you stayed and that is pretty fucking awesome and brave. you are pretty fucking awesome and brave. i will make you a button to remind you :)
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