The BDSM Room, My Missing Car, and Sleeping with a College Kid

[saucydiva]

Last night I went to a party.

I mean, of course I did. I go to a lot of parties. But most of them are thrown by friends of mine, and are pretty low-key: bonfires in backyard and barbeques and the like.

But this time, I went a party through a website. It was a cocktail party, and we were instructed to dress to the nines and come on down to a

Comments

[throwingpens]

Jesus H Christ on a Cracker with Some Communion Wine.

"However, first, he bought me a donut from Dunkin Donuts. Because to a 22 year old, I’m fairly certain this means something."

It does. As a 22 year old, I can honestly say, nobody has ever bought me donuts without having some feelings for me. I say this, having bought and eaten a half dozen donuts from Dunkin Donuts myself this morning, and nobody has had more feelings for me than me.

Also, 22 year olds are FUCKING STUPID.

PS: Aside from the BDSM room, what did you think of the apartment? Should I see if a hockey player lives in the same building? Do you think a hockey player lives in that building? You know I have goals and one of them is to have a nice apartment/marry a hockey player before my lease is up here, in my shoebox.

[saucydiva]

You make me laugh. I'll buy you some donuts. But I have no idea how you can eat six of them. I can eat sweets, yum, but I'm not sure I could eat more than two donuts, ever. They seem to sit heavy, I don't know.

The apartment was phenomenal. I know there are better ones in the city, because Oprah used to live here, but it was the nicest one I've ever been in. But I think you'll have to search elsewhere for hockey players. Though if I ran into one, to be fair, I wouldn't have known who he was unless he grabbed my face and told me or something.

[throwingpens]

One time, a few years ago...I shit you not, I ate a dozen donuts in one day. I was telling the bartender that today (He was neither hot rob nor door guy i am flirting with) this and he was like...HOW.

"I started early in the day. And then I kept eating."

I'll work on it. But you've got to help if you find one. I was telling emilyla about Brandon Saad, who is often DISNEY PRINCE HANDSOME, but he's still 20. I'm confused as to which route to take: to peruse or not to pursue. (He will be 21 in October. I turned 22 in June. I'm probably too old to be comfortable with it tbh, but STILL. He used to play for the Saginaw Spirit, the OHL team who named their mascot after Stephen Colbert--Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle.)

[saucydiva]

I hate beards so I like this guy for you. Two years is nothing; let's find him. I bet I can do it. then you two can get married and I can be your hot bridesmaid in charge of nothing

[throwingpens]

What do beards have to do with anything?

That's fine: I dare you to track down a 20 year old hockey player. GO.

[saucydiva]

Beards are gross. What's wrong with your face that you have to hide it?

[throwingpens]

....i had a response with armpits in mind, but this p much proved that point

are we sure it isn't just laziness?