Fic: Unprotected
Title: Unprotected
Author: saucydiva
Word count: 1.2K.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Clearly I don’t own it or I'd buy you a giant gorilla
Timeline: 5x20
Summary: Ann and Chris and condoms and feelings
Author’s Note: Emilyla is a beautiful desktop owl, as are stillscape and throwingpens, who both accepted strange late-night text messages discussing potential condom usage between television characters.
Also, though I never write about babies, I somehow wrote this, and roped into helping me three non-baby people, I just realized.
Making out in Chris’s office had been a great idea, but having sex in her bedroom that evening was a better one.
Ann nipped at his shoulder playfully, once, and then went back a little harder for a second. He gazed at her in wonder; his pupils expanded till there were just little rims of blue. He dove back in for a kiss, one hand on her jaw while the other went for the zipper on her skirt. While he was distracted with that, she went in for the button on his pants, which would’ve been easier if not for the familiar strain against the fabric.
Two years before, she’d counted them as passionate.
She saw now she’d been wrong.
Because it was nothing like this before. They’d had skill, back then, from years of perfecting the art of pleasing a partner, but there’d been restraint; she saw that now. Because now there was a deep, soul-crushing sense of need, a desire that made her destroy the starch on his collar and the gel in his hair.
His voice was hoarse when he asked her if he could get on top of her, and it stirred her. She pulled him on top of her, running her hands down his back and pulling him in for another kiss before twisting over to grab a condom from her bedside table, as she always did.
She offered him the condom silently, and he took it from her, stilling his hands for the first time. He kept one rested on her rib cage while he held the condom with the other, contemplating it.
“What are we doing here?” he asked softly.
“We’re sleeping together,” she said. “Making each other feel good.”
“And not that I don’t want to do that,” he said, his eyes drinking her in. “I want to do that. Again and again, ideally.”
She blushed.
He continued. “But are we doing this for us? Or for...” he gestured downwards, as though she was already pregnant.
Ann twisted her mouth, unsure how to answer that.
Chris rolled off her and landed next to her. She stared at the ceiling resolutely. He broke the silence. “Last time we used one.”
Last time.
Last time had been ridiculous and frantic and she’d enjoyed watching him break in a way he never had when they’d dated.
In the middle of it, she’d wiggled past him and grabbed the condom and he’d accepted it and neither of them had said a word about it, so busy as they were with what they were doing. In fact, that’d been the end of talking in general, and when it was over, they’d dressed in silence and exchanged only sad, sweet smiles before he’d left.
But now, he’d stopped, and she had to think.
“We’re going to have a kid,” she said, and she could feel him relax next to her. She knew he was invested in this baby too, but that relaxation made her feel- reassured, almost, that he was as invested as her.
“But are we going back to the sperm bank, or trying the old-fashioned way first?”
It was dumb that they weren’t looking at each other, so she propped herself up on her arm, facing him. He followed her cue. He looked her straight in the eyes before his own eyes lowered, and-
She wasn’t wearing clothes, and that was embarrassing, somehow, so she grabbed the sheet, but he suffered no embarrassment, clearly.
She toyed with the edge of the sheet. “I want to have a baby, and time’s ticking.”
“Biological clocks are fascinating. Do you think it was your most recent birthday that brought this out? Because during our entire relationship you never once mentioned wanting one.”
“I didn’t mention- I didn’t assert myself enough the first time around, Chris, and part of that was not laying my cards on the table about what I wanted from you. I thought you’d ask me to go back to Indianapolis with you, and instead, you- it doesn’t matter. But I should’ve talked to you more and assumed less.”
“Then this is the second time?” he asked, eying her carefully.
“What?”
“You referred to our prior relationship as the first time around which can only mean this, now, is the second time around.”
She chewed her lip. “I don’t want to rush this, though. I meant what I said about on-again, off-again not being how I want our child to see us.”
He perked up. “We could set a time limit. We make our relationship work by the time Baby Perkins-Traeger is born, or we break up and just be co-parents. And best friends. Who are dating other people, presumably.”
She felt a twinge at those words. Something less than jealousy, but more than sorrow. “We don’t have to date other people,” she blurted out.
He smiled at her, which was infuriating.
“I don’t think I want to juggle a new relationship, or new-old relationship, while pregnant.”
“That is fair,” he said carefully. “I suppose we could wait three to five years till our child is old enough to conceptualize relationships better. Hopefully, by then you aren’t married to the high school principal.”
“Ooooh, no. I went on a date with him. He doesn’t believe in the moon landings.”
Chris laughed. “I can’t possibly compete.”
She smiled. It didn’t seem worth mentioning that she’d emailed the principal about sperm, just in case.
It was the last time she opened a package from any of the men she’d asked that question.
She twirled the condom in her fingers idly. “I’m not the same person I was two years ago.”
“Neither am I.”
“I like who I am now, mostly.”
“I like who you are, fully,” he said, putting his hand to hers. He grabbed the condom from her with one hand and used the other to pull her flush against his. His skin was warm through her sheet, and she looked up and kissed him.
“I like who you are now, too,” she said. “You’ll be a great father to Jason or Sarah.”
“Those are the best names you could ever think up,” he said. He pulled back the sheet and ran his fingers over her thigh lightly. She gasped, and his eyes went dark.
“I have a lot of talents,” she said, a slight strain in her voice as he continued with his fingers.
A few minutes later, he held the condom up, a question in the tilt of his head.
She didn’t have an answer.
He went down on her instead.
She tried to return the favor, but he just smiled and snuggled into her. She felt guilty, though she knew Donna would laugh at her and Leslie would tell her not to worry and April would chastise her for being a person.
She was going to get pregnant, she was. And she was determined to do so soon.
But tonight, she was just going to let herself be a woman, with a man, deciding what that meant to her.
Author: saucydiva
Word count: 1.2K.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Clearly I don’t own it or I'd buy you a giant gorilla
Timeline: 5x20
Summary: Ann and Chris and condoms and feelings
Author’s Note: Emilyla is a beautiful desktop owl, as are stillscape and throwingpens, who both accepted strange late-night text messages discussing potential condom usage between television characters.
Also, though I never write about babies, I somehow wrote this, and roped into helping me three non-baby people, I just realized.
Making out in Chris’s office had been a great idea, but having sex in her bedroom that evening was a better one.
Ann nipped at his shoulder playfully, once, and then went back a little harder for a second. He gazed at her in wonder; his pupils expanded till there were just little rims of blue. He dove back in for a kiss, one hand on her jaw while the other went for the zipper on her skirt. While he was distracted with that, she went in for the button on his pants, which would’ve been easier if not for the familiar strain against the fabric.
Two years before, she’d counted them as passionate.
She saw now she’d been wrong.
Because it was nothing like this before. They’d had skill, back then, from years of perfecting the art of pleasing a partner, but there’d been restraint; she saw that now. Because now there was a deep, soul-crushing sense of need, a desire that made her destroy the starch on his collar and the gel in his hair.
His voice was hoarse when he asked her if he could get on top of her, and it stirred her. She pulled him on top of her, running her hands down his back and pulling him in for another kiss before twisting over to grab a condom from her bedside table, as she always did.
She offered him the condom silently, and he took it from her, stilling his hands for the first time. He kept one rested on her rib cage while he held the condom with the other, contemplating it.
“What are we doing here?” he asked softly.
“We’re sleeping together,” she said. “Making each other feel good.”
“And not that I don’t want to do that,” he said, his eyes drinking her in. “I want to do that. Again and again, ideally.”
She blushed.
He continued. “But are we doing this for us? Or for...” he gestured downwards, as though she was already pregnant.
Ann twisted her mouth, unsure how to answer that.
Chris rolled off her and landed next to her. She stared at the ceiling resolutely. He broke the silence. “Last time we used one.”
Last time.
Last time had been ridiculous and frantic and she’d enjoyed watching him break in a way he never had when they’d dated.
In the middle of it, she’d wiggled past him and grabbed the condom and he’d accepted it and neither of them had said a word about it, so busy as they were with what they were doing. In fact, that’d been the end of talking in general, and when it was over, they’d dressed in silence and exchanged only sad, sweet smiles before he’d left.
But now, he’d stopped, and she had to think.
“We’re going to have a kid,” she said, and she could feel him relax next to her. She knew he was invested in this baby too, but that relaxation made her feel- reassured, almost, that he was as invested as her.
“But are we going back to the sperm bank, or trying the old-fashioned way first?”
It was dumb that they weren’t looking at each other, so she propped herself up on her arm, facing him. He followed her cue. He looked her straight in the eyes before his own eyes lowered, and-
She wasn’t wearing clothes, and that was embarrassing, somehow, so she grabbed the sheet, but he suffered no embarrassment, clearly.
She toyed with the edge of the sheet. “I want to have a baby, and time’s ticking.”
“Biological clocks are fascinating. Do you think it was your most recent birthday that brought this out? Because during our entire relationship you never once mentioned wanting one.”
“I didn’t mention- I didn’t assert myself enough the first time around, Chris, and part of that was not laying my cards on the table about what I wanted from you. I thought you’d ask me to go back to Indianapolis with you, and instead, you- it doesn’t matter. But I should’ve talked to you more and assumed less.”
“Then this is the second time?” he asked, eying her carefully.
“What?”
“You referred to our prior relationship as the first time around which can only mean this, now, is the second time around.”
She chewed her lip. “I don’t want to rush this, though. I meant what I said about on-again, off-again not being how I want our child to see us.”
He perked up. “We could set a time limit. We make our relationship work by the time Baby Perkins-Traeger is born, or we break up and just be co-parents. And best friends. Who are dating other people, presumably.”
She felt a twinge at those words. Something less than jealousy, but more than sorrow. “We don’t have to date other people,” she blurted out.
He smiled at her, which was infuriating.
“I don’t think I want to juggle a new relationship, or new-old relationship, while pregnant.”
“That is fair,” he said carefully. “I suppose we could wait three to five years till our child is old enough to conceptualize relationships better. Hopefully, by then you aren’t married to the high school principal.”
“Ooooh, no. I went on a date with him. He doesn’t believe in the moon landings.”
Chris laughed. “I can’t possibly compete.”
She smiled. It didn’t seem worth mentioning that she’d emailed the principal about sperm, just in case.
It was the last time she opened a package from any of the men she’d asked that question.
She twirled the condom in her fingers idly. “I’m not the same person I was two years ago.”
“Neither am I.”
“I like who I am now, mostly.”
“I like who you are, fully,” he said, putting his hand to hers. He grabbed the condom from her with one hand and used the other to pull her flush against his. His skin was warm through her sheet, and she looked up and kissed him.
“I like who you are now, too,” she said. “You’ll be a great father to Jason or Sarah.”
“Those are the best names you could ever think up,” he said. He pulled back the sheet and ran his fingers over her thigh lightly. She gasped, and his eyes went dark.
“I have a lot of talents,” she said, a slight strain in her voice as he continued with his fingers.
A few minutes later, he held the condom up, a question in the tilt of his head.
She didn’t have an answer.
He went down on her instead.
She tried to return the favor, but he just smiled and snuggled into her. She felt guilty, though she knew Donna would laugh at her and Leslie would tell her not to worry and April would chastise her for being a person.
She was going to get pregnant, she was. And she was determined to do so soon.
But tonight, she was just going to let herself be a woman, with a man, deciding what that meant to her.