Fic: Camera's On
Title: Camera's On
Author: saucydiva
Word count: 2K
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Clearly I don’t own it or I would take everyone on a tour of San Francisco.
Timeline: Pemberley arc (written after episode 80)
Summary: “Oh my god, what will I tell my viewers? My name's Lizzie Bennet and I just made a sex tape?”
Author’s Note: stars-inthe-skymused it occurs to me that sextape!fic would be unnervingly easy to create for this fandom. Huh. as though she wasn't requesting it. Also for my Thursday night crew, who responded to my offhanded comment on her comment with a resounding DO IT.
Thanks to throwingpens for the beta
“The camera is ON,” Lizzie repeated, a cold panic blooming across her chest. “We’re in trouble.”
“With whom?” Darcy asked, looking not at all panicked as he should be or even pausing as he continued to button his wrinkled shirt.
“Turn it off!”
“I don’t know how.”
“Why not?”
“It’s your camera,” he said. “Lizzie, you can delete the tape.”
“Memory card.”
“Delete the file. You can even put the card through the paper shredder.” Suddenly, he was behind her, nuzzling her neck, pressed up against her back.
Lizzie was already feeling skittish, and her trembling hand dropped the card on the floor. It gave her opportunity to drop down on her hands and knees to reach under the desk.
And maybe hide for a minute from Darcy.
Darcy, always oblivious, choose this moment to start deciding what this meant.
“Lizzie, this was incredible, and I am honored you would engage in this with me-’
“Can we not?” she cut him off. “It was- a one-time thing.”
“Understood,” he said, his jawline tightening.
“This was a mistake.”
“That you had plenty of time to contemplate.”
“Oh my god, what will I tell my viewers? My name is Lizzie Bennet and I just made a sex tape?”
“We made a sex tape,” he said, a smile ghosting across his face. “You’re aware that most people cuddle afterwards.”
She wasn’t too happy about this new, joke-making Darcy. She glared while she frantically smoothed down her hair. He was dressed too, but his shoes were still off. It was absurd how annoyed she was about this.
“I can’t tell the internet! And I don’t need the office thinking I’m sleeping with my boss!”
“Technically speaking, I’m not your boss, and you are in fact paying to be here.”
“Put on your shoes,” she snapped.
It wasn’t even lunch time, but Lizzie decided right then she was going to shred the memory card, then go home and crawl into her borrowed bed and maybe order a pizza and possibly never come back to Pemberley Digital.
“Do you want me to destroy the card?” he asked, sitting back down on the bench where-
“No,” she said. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it.” She grabbed the camera and shoved it in her purse. If Darcy was wondering why she was taking off in the middle of the day, he didn’t say anything, just smoothed the fabric of his bowtie carefully. As though he couldn’t afford to replace it with thousands more just like it. He looked... mopey. She couldn’t take it. “How do you know I won’t just put this footage online?” She wanted to get him riled up; as she recently discovered, passionate Darcy was worth revisiting.
“I trust you, Lizzie,” he said, standing up stiffly. He touched her hand, and was gone.
***
She didn't erase the card.
Instead, she sat on her borrowed couch that evening, staring at it. Drank her wine, then stared at it again.
I should break it, she thought. Get a hammer. This can never see the light of day.
She stuck it in her laptop.
Dr. Gardiner would approve, she reasoned. Seeing this on screen would give Lizzie perspective.
She skipped past their awkward hallway encounter to see Darcy appear in his hat and bowtie. Video Lizzie was clearly shocked, but on re-watch, the real surprise was watching him interact with the camera. He wasn’t at Lydia levels, but there he was, trying to engage the viewers. Was he trying to get them to side with him or something?
Unacceptable.
She skipped ahead again. I think.... you should ask him. Then he leaned in, ever so slightly. He kissed her a moment later. But now, she could see it: she’d leaned in too, a moment after he had.
Video Lizzie responded cautiously. He’d put his hand on her cheek, and she’d smiled, apparently. The kiss had seemed brief at the time, but watching it with the time tracked in the corner, she saw it go on and on, from the first brief contact, to the way he’d deepened the kiss, running his tongue against the seam of her lips, and then against the tip of her tongue. Video Lizzie clearly enjoyed that, grabbing the back of his head. She watched him suck her lower lip into his mouth, and the way she’d pressed up even closer.
He was the one to break the kiss, but both their chests were heaving, and there was a slight blush on his face. It had never occurred to her that he’d be someone who blushed.
She skipped ahead. She didn’t want to rewatch Darcy’s Wow. Lizzie I- or to see Video Lizzie start the next kiss, mostly to shut him up, but a little bit because of how good the first had been.
Video Lizzie was straddling him now. He was pressed up against her, hard and hot, pressed against the area between her legs that was aching. She watched her past self unbutton his shirt. He’d asked permission to remove hers, several minutes later, but she’d just started in on his, pressing kisses against the side of his mouth while she did. He had a hand against her back, and the other way was tangled in her hair, at the base of her neck.
She hadn’t had to remove his bowtie, because he’d taken it off after that first kiss.
Lizzie needed more wine.
When she returned, wine bottle in hand, Darcy’s right hand had moved off-screen, and Video Lizzie clearly was enjoying what he was doing with it.
Current Lizzie drank straight from the bottle.
Do you have something?
He didn’t. She didn’t either.
Lydia would think she was an idiot for not being prepared. To be fair, this wasn’t her usual MO, and clearly Video Lizzie was regretting her lack of preparation.
I could have my assistant-
Like hell you’ll ask your assistant to-
That he wasn’t allowed to ask his sister should’ve been obvious, but apparently desperate times called for desperate measures.
He stuffed himself back into his clothes.
There’s a pharmacy around the corner.
Video Lizzie clearly was getting huffy. How do you know I’ll still be here when you return?
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. If there’s even an infinitesimal chance you’ll still be here when I get back, I’ll risk it.
She was back in her skirt, but wearing her costume theater shirt. He’d frowned as he fingered the collar, then moved his hand back to her jaw for a kiss.
She watched the entire seventeen and a half minutes, from the time he left, to his return.
She remembered all the thoughts running through her head at the time. She’d pulled out her phone.
Jane would tell her not to. Lydia wouldn’t pick up the phone, but if she could call Lydia from three months ago, she’d tell Lizzie to just go for it already, god. Charlotte would laugh and tell her she’d predicted this, and three days later she’d delicately broach the subject of how this was going to get them more YouTube attention (Charlotte would probably kill her for not somehow monetizing this video, Lizzie realized).
Video Lizzie clearly knew she couldn’t call anyone, so instead she went to her videos.
(Dr. Gardiner could write a book about her watching a video of herself watching a video herself costume-theatering a boy she was about to sleep with, but Dr. Gardiner was absolutely not going to write that book.)
What about Jane’s sister Lizzie? I know she’s not that great looking, but you could do worse. I bet she could use a good sex-capade. I bet she hasn’t gotten laid in years and those are the freaky ones.
Apparently, she was one of the freaky ones after all. She’d had plenty of time to think it through, or at least switch locations, but kissing him had unlocked all sorts of complicated feelings.
She didn’t love him, but she had felt-it had felt inevitable.
No, she corrected herself. Inevitable made it sound like she hadn’t made a choice.
And it was clear, both when it happened, and watching it in her borrowed living room with ten dollar wine, that she had made choices.
But was she happy with those choices? Video Lizzie looked less freaked out than she felt now.
(There could be an equally awkward book about the boy she was about to sleep with catching her watching videos of her costume-theatering him, but that would require her to release this video, and that was ridiculous.)
You’re watching your videos.
You got the condoms?
He locked the door behind him.
I wasn’t sure what kind you liked. He’d pulled out three brightly colored boxes.
Oh, just pick one.
They kissed. Or rather, he kissed her, and she gave back as good as she got. He’d started in on her neck when he’d asked Would you please remove that shirt? Video Lizzie was already complying.
Current Lizzie skipped ahead.
She could just see Darcy’s back, popping into the frame occasionally. Off-screen, he’d balled up his shirt and slipped it under her head, because even though there was a cushion on the bench, it still wasn’t exactly a soft surface. He wasn’t heavy on top of her, resting most of his weight on his forearms. Still, the gesture hadn’t been lost on her, even in the moment.
They were both quiet, cognizant of their location, but every noise felt amplified even so. At one point, he’d grunted, and she’d grabbed his mouth, and after a second of looking shocked they’d both giggled.
Her smile then had had nothing to do with the things he was doing with hands.
She skipped ahead.
Video Lizzie was sitting up on the bench, and Darcy was out of frame.
Even now, she was blushing; she mirrored her on-screen counterpart, who was biting her fist in an effort to stay quiet. She didn’t usually do that on a first date (or...her sixth day at an office?) but Darcy had been really good, and fairly insistent, and-she’d wanted it too.
Her other hand had been tangled in his hair. She could see video Lizzie realize this, her eyes wide as she frantically patted his head, worried she’d injured him, but she could see his hand come up from below and put her hand back where his head was. She’d threaded her fingers back into his dark waves and pulled him closer.
She was squirming and flushed when she came, and she’d slid off the bench and out of the frame. Lizzie knew she’d gone down on her knees and kissed him full on the mouth, pawing at his neck as she frantically kissed his face.
He’d stilled her, and held her, running his hands down her back .
Thank you, he’d said, and his voice was quiet but audible.
She felt weird about that. So weird, in fact, that she’d gotten up and started dressing.
Darcy followed suit.
A few moments later, Video Lizzie had noticed the blinking red light.
Back in the present, Lizzie slammed her laptop shut. She took another swig of wine. She drummed her fingers on the table. And then she went back to the beginning. She spent the rest of the afternoon eating pizza, drinking wine, and editing the video. Video Lizzie talked about Bing, went looking for Gigi, did costume theater with Darcy.
Do you think Bing still cares about Jane?
I think...you should ask him.
He leaned in.
She watched him lean in, again and again on her screen.
Finally, she found the perfect shot.
He’d just started to lean in. Video Lizzie was still sitting straight up, but she’d wet her lips, and her eyes darted to his mouth.
She cut off the video there.
Let the viewers wonder.
Author: saucydiva
Word count: 2K
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Clearly I don’t own it or I would take everyone on a tour of San Francisco.
Timeline: Pemberley arc (written after episode 80)
Summary: “Oh my god, what will I tell my viewers? My name's Lizzie Bennet and I just made a sex tape?”
Author’s Note: stars-inthe-skymused it occurs to me that sextape!fic would be unnervingly easy to create for this fandom. Huh. as though she wasn't requesting it. Also for my Thursday night crew, who responded to my offhanded comment on her comment with a resounding DO IT.
Thanks to throwingpens for the beta
“The camera is ON,” Lizzie repeated, a cold panic blooming across her chest. “We’re in trouble.”
“With whom?” Darcy asked, looking not at all panicked as he should be or even pausing as he continued to button his wrinkled shirt.
“Turn it off!”
“I don’t know how.”
“Why not?”
“It’s your camera,” he said. “Lizzie, you can delete the tape.”
“Memory card.”
“Delete the file. You can even put the card through the paper shredder.” Suddenly, he was behind her, nuzzling her neck, pressed up against her back.
Lizzie was already feeling skittish, and her trembling hand dropped the card on the floor. It gave her opportunity to drop down on her hands and knees to reach under the desk.
And maybe hide for a minute from Darcy.
Darcy, always oblivious, choose this moment to start deciding what this meant.
“Lizzie, this was incredible, and I am honored you would engage in this with me-’
“Can we not?” she cut him off. “It was- a one-time thing.”
“Understood,” he said, his jawline tightening.
“This was a mistake.”
“That you had plenty of time to contemplate.”
“Oh my god, what will I tell my viewers? My name is Lizzie Bennet and I just made a sex tape?”
“We made a sex tape,” he said, a smile ghosting across his face. “You’re aware that most people cuddle afterwards.”
She wasn’t too happy about this new, joke-making Darcy. She glared while she frantically smoothed down her hair. He was dressed too, but his shoes were still off. It was absurd how annoyed she was about this.
“I can’t tell the internet! And I don’t need the office thinking I’m sleeping with my boss!”
“Technically speaking, I’m not your boss, and you are in fact paying to be here.”
“Put on your shoes,” she snapped.
It wasn’t even lunch time, but Lizzie decided right then she was going to shred the memory card, then go home and crawl into her borrowed bed and maybe order a pizza and possibly never come back to Pemberley Digital.
“Do you want me to destroy the card?” he asked, sitting back down on the bench where-
“No,” she said. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it.” She grabbed the camera and shoved it in her purse. If Darcy was wondering why she was taking off in the middle of the day, he didn’t say anything, just smoothed the fabric of his bowtie carefully. As though he couldn’t afford to replace it with thousands more just like it. He looked... mopey. She couldn’t take it. “How do you know I won’t just put this footage online?” She wanted to get him riled up; as she recently discovered, passionate Darcy was worth revisiting.
“I trust you, Lizzie,” he said, standing up stiffly. He touched her hand, and was gone.
***
She didn't erase the card.
Instead, she sat on her borrowed couch that evening, staring at it. Drank her wine, then stared at it again.
I should break it, she thought. Get a hammer. This can never see the light of day.
She stuck it in her laptop.
Dr. Gardiner would approve, she reasoned. Seeing this on screen would give Lizzie perspective.
She skipped past their awkward hallway encounter to see Darcy appear in his hat and bowtie. Video Lizzie was clearly shocked, but on re-watch, the real surprise was watching him interact with the camera. He wasn’t at Lydia levels, but there he was, trying to engage the viewers. Was he trying to get them to side with him or something?
Unacceptable.
She skipped ahead again. I think.... you should ask him. Then he leaned in, ever so slightly. He kissed her a moment later. But now, she could see it: she’d leaned in too, a moment after he had.
Video Lizzie responded cautiously. He’d put his hand on her cheek, and she’d smiled, apparently. The kiss had seemed brief at the time, but watching it with the time tracked in the corner, she saw it go on and on, from the first brief contact, to the way he’d deepened the kiss, running his tongue against the seam of her lips, and then against the tip of her tongue. Video Lizzie clearly enjoyed that, grabbing the back of his head. She watched him suck her lower lip into his mouth, and the way she’d pressed up even closer.
He was the one to break the kiss, but both their chests were heaving, and there was a slight blush on his face. It had never occurred to her that he’d be someone who blushed.
She skipped ahead. She didn’t want to rewatch Darcy’s Wow. Lizzie I- or to see Video Lizzie start the next kiss, mostly to shut him up, but a little bit because of how good the first had been.
Video Lizzie was straddling him now. He was pressed up against her, hard and hot, pressed against the area between her legs that was aching. She watched her past self unbutton his shirt. He’d asked permission to remove hers, several minutes later, but she’d just started in on his, pressing kisses against the side of his mouth while she did. He had a hand against her back, and the other way was tangled in her hair, at the base of her neck.
She hadn’t had to remove his bowtie, because he’d taken it off after that first kiss.
Lizzie needed more wine.
When she returned, wine bottle in hand, Darcy’s right hand had moved off-screen, and Video Lizzie clearly was enjoying what he was doing with it.
Current Lizzie drank straight from the bottle.
Do you have something?
He didn’t. She didn’t either.
Lydia would think she was an idiot for not being prepared. To be fair, this wasn’t her usual MO, and clearly Video Lizzie was regretting her lack of preparation.
I could have my assistant-
Like hell you’ll ask your assistant to-
That he wasn’t allowed to ask his sister should’ve been obvious, but apparently desperate times called for desperate measures.
He stuffed himself back into his clothes.
There’s a pharmacy around the corner.
Video Lizzie clearly was getting huffy. How do you know I’ll still be here when you return?
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. If there’s even an infinitesimal chance you’ll still be here when I get back, I’ll risk it.
She was back in her skirt, but wearing her costume theater shirt. He’d frowned as he fingered the collar, then moved his hand back to her jaw for a kiss.
She watched the entire seventeen and a half minutes, from the time he left, to his return.
She remembered all the thoughts running through her head at the time. She’d pulled out her phone.
Jane would tell her not to. Lydia wouldn’t pick up the phone, but if she could call Lydia from three months ago, she’d tell Lizzie to just go for it already, god. Charlotte would laugh and tell her she’d predicted this, and three days later she’d delicately broach the subject of how this was going to get them more YouTube attention (Charlotte would probably kill her for not somehow monetizing this video, Lizzie realized).
Video Lizzie clearly knew she couldn’t call anyone, so instead she went to her videos.
(Dr. Gardiner could write a book about her watching a video of herself watching a video herself costume-theatering a boy she was about to sleep with, but Dr. Gardiner was absolutely not going to write that book.)
What about Jane’s sister Lizzie? I know she’s not that great looking, but you could do worse. I bet she could use a good sex-capade. I bet she hasn’t gotten laid in years and those are the freaky ones.
Apparently, she was one of the freaky ones after all. She’d had plenty of time to think it through, or at least switch locations, but kissing him had unlocked all sorts of complicated feelings.
She didn’t love him, but she had felt-it had felt inevitable.
No, she corrected herself. Inevitable made it sound like she hadn’t made a choice.
And it was clear, both when it happened, and watching it in her borrowed living room with ten dollar wine, that she had made choices.
But was she happy with those choices? Video Lizzie looked less freaked out than she felt now.
(There could be an equally awkward book about the boy she was about to sleep with catching her watching videos of her costume-theatering him, but that would require her to release this video, and that was ridiculous.)
You’re watching your videos.
You got the condoms?
He locked the door behind him.
I wasn’t sure what kind you liked. He’d pulled out three brightly colored boxes.
Oh, just pick one.
They kissed. Or rather, he kissed her, and she gave back as good as she got. He’d started in on her neck when he’d asked Would you please remove that shirt? Video Lizzie was already complying.
Current Lizzie skipped ahead.
She could just see Darcy’s back, popping into the frame occasionally. Off-screen, he’d balled up his shirt and slipped it under her head, because even though there was a cushion on the bench, it still wasn’t exactly a soft surface. He wasn’t heavy on top of her, resting most of his weight on his forearms. Still, the gesture hadn’t been lost on her, even in the moment.
They were both quiet, cognizant of their location, but every noise felt amplified even so. At one point, he’d grunted, and she’d grabbed his mouth, and after a second of looking shocked they’d both giggled.
Her smile then had had nothing to do with the things he was doing with hands.
She skipped ahead.
Video Lizzie was sitting up on the bench, and Darcy was out of frame.
Even now, she was blushing; she mirrored her on-screen counterpart, who was biting her fist in an effort to stay quiet. She didn’t usually do that on a first date (or...her sixth day at an office?) but Darcy had been really good, and fairly insistent, and-she’d wanted it too.
Her other hand had been tangled in his hair. She could see video Lizzie realize this, her eyes wide as she frantically patted his head, worried she’d injured him, but she could see his hand come up from below and put her hand back where his head was. She’d threaded her fingers back into his dark waves and pulled him closer.
She was squirming and flushed when she came, and she’d slid off the bench and out of the frame. Lizzie knew she’d gone down on her knees and kissed him full on the mouth, pawing at his neck as she frantically kissed his face.
He’d stilled her, and held her, running his hands down her back .
Thank you, he’d said, and his voice was quiet but audible.
She felt weird about that. So weird, in fact, that she’d gotten up and started dressing.
Darcy followed suit.
A few moments later, Video Lizzie had noticed the blinking red light.
Back in the present, Lizzie slammed her laptop shut. She took another swig of wine. She drummed her fingers on the table. And then she went back to the beginning. She spent the rest of the afternoon eating pizza, drinking wine, and editing the video. Video Lizzie talked about Bing, went looking for Gigi, did costume theater with Darcy.
Do you think Bing still cares about Jane?
I think...you should ask him.
He leaned in.
She watched him lean in, again and again on her screen.
Finally, she found the perfect shot.
He’d just started to lean in. Video Lizzie was still sitting straight up, but she’d wet her lips, and her eyes darted to his mouth.
She cut off the video there.
Let the viewers wonder.