Pitch Perfect is.... well, you know
Pitch Perfect might be my favorite movie of the year.
I mean. You and I both know that, in an effort to win the Oscar Movie Death Race every year, I see a ton of movies that are very good.* I go see foreign films and art house movies and little-seen documentaries, and I do it all with a smile.
But Pitch Perfect speaks to something in my soul. That part of my soul is pretty shallow and loves sparkles.
Here’s the plot. I’m not spoiler cutting this, because, here’s the thing, you don’t really need me to tell you the plot, because you’ve seen a movie before.
Anna Kendrick is a college freshman who totally wants to drop out to be a dj, but because CONTRIVENCES decides to join an all-female acapella group, at a college where acapella is a huge thing for some reason. She meets an acafella who is on a rival team (and therefore forbidden to her) who also likes music, but wants her to watch The Breakfast Club. He’s into her and she puts up walls, so naturally they are making out by the end. This is despite the fact Brittnay Snow has luscious red hair and totally hits on her in the shower while naked. Also! Anna and the lead acagirl, Anna Camp, clash over TRADITION verses MASHUPS, as you do. Will they win the big acapella competition? Will they forgo TRADITION for MASHUPS? Will they give up their terrible stewardess costumes in favor of clothing that flatters all figures? Of course they will. And it will be awesome every step of the way.
Also in a side plot, no one at this college realizes that all the students are actually thirty.
Let’s discuss why PP is the best movie of the year:
Pop music: pop music is awesome. Mash-ups are awesome. Anyone who tells you they hate pop music is a liar and/or old and therefore not as responsive to dopamine in their brains. And this movie loves pop music.
Rebel Wilson: hilarious, every single time she spoke. Fat Amy is my patronus.
Eye makeup: if this movie doesn’t win the Oscar for eyeliner then I am giving up on the Oscars forever. Every time Eternally Youthful Anna Kendrick appeared on the screen, she had the same perfect eyeliner and flawless eyeshadow. When she was crying? It didn’t matter, that eyeliner stayed on like a tattoo.
Elizabeth Banks: Someone on tumblr recently said EB isn’t funny. I don’t remember who that person was, but they are dumb. “There’s nothing that makes a girl feel like a woman like men who sound like boys.” Half the best quotes come from Banks as a commentator for the acapella competitions. Also! She calls out her fellow commentator for being a misogynist. How many movies can you name with the word “misogynist” in them? Freaking none of them.
Ladies talking to other ladies about things that aren’t boys: this movie passed the Beshdel test with flying colors. Do you know how many other movies I’ve seen this year that do? Hardly any! It’s really sad, actually, how many movies I’ve seen vs. how many I’ve seen that pass the test.
At the end of the movie I turned to B and her friend and told them we should come back every single night and see it till it leaves theaters and I was only a little kidding.
I recommend seeing this in a full theater, preferably with someone who will let you hold their hand when the preview for Les Mis.
*Except in 2011, when all the movies were terrible regardless