The universe is against me...
Well i'm bored and feeling quite low. Yet another family member has passed on that's 3 within a month. I'm quite hurt especially two I was somewhat close to and they have been part of my life since the day I was born. I guess I'm in a state of shock as I'm finding it hard to eat and hard to leave the house. I have been unable to let out my grievance with out being almost paralyzed from a stupid amount of vodka or maybe get slightly watery eyes watching a disney/sad film. I can't shake the emptiness inside and feel my self growing distant from the outside world,
Its just a bad time of year for me, I don't enjoy either christmas or new years seeing as my family spend most of the day in silence apart from the nose of the tv and me getting shouted at help with the christmas dinner, which is pretty much the same as any other sunday roast, apart from the need to have Turkey instead of just plain and simple chicken.
I just need closure but unable to find it, I probably should get out more, go for a walk clear my mind etc. I just want to be free of all my burdens and pain, just to enjoy the simple pleasures of life with out all the complications of emotions. Argh I sound so fucking goth/emo/depressive err what ever you call it, just silly. I'll get out of my slump, just waiting for something good to happen and I'll be right as rain :D Well hears hoping.
On a brighter note, I have a band forming which I will be singing for and hopefully gigging in the near future, so watch this space.
Its just a bad time of year for me, I don't enjoy either christmas or new years seeing as my family spend most of the day in silence apart from the nose of the tv and me getting shouted at help with the christmas dinner, which is pretty much the same as any other sunday roast, apart from the need to have Turkey instead of just plain and simple chicken.
I just need closure but unable to find it, I probably should get out more, go for a walk clear my mind etc. I just want to be free of all my burdens and pain, just to enjoy the simple pleasures of life with out all the complications of emotions. Argh I sound so fucking goth/emo/depressive err what ever you call it, just silly. I'll get out of my slump, just waiting for something good to happen and I'll be right as rain :D Well hears hoping.
On a brighter note, I have a band forming which I will be singing for and hopefully gigging in the near future, so watch this space.