(no subject)
Here's the deal. I'm stupid. I'm so stupid I can't even calculate my own damn SAT score correctly. When I thought I had made around a 1600-something, I actually made a 1510....seriously this is not good. But OH! It gets better. The second time around, I make a 1470...even worse! So I fit into their stupid statistic of the "38% do worse on the SAT their second time...". I know I'm not a bad writer. I've got five hundred essays just for this year to prove it. Essays with all A's written on them from the toughest most meanest teacher I've have yet (aka. Mrs. Blackwelder). I can pull out an essay in about 25-30 minutes...if I have a computer to type on. But to plan AND to handwrite in 25 minutes?? Under pressure? I think not. I did horribly on my math section and on my reading and writing sections I did only 20 points better...Since America feels so sorry for the stupid kids of this country (aka me) they decided to combine the best scores from all the tests which leaves me with a score of 1530...STILL not GOOD! How am I supposed to get into UNCCH with a 1530? God I'm a fucking idiot.
Speaking of God. I had a big FUCK YOU to Him today. So I ate candy. Right infront of Him. Sounds childish. But I did it because I gave up candy and soft drinks for lent and I guess I'm kind of pissed at how stupid He let me be. And the sucky part is, these stupid jelly beans are like sugarless because my step-mom is a fat-freak and they don't even taste good! And now that I look at the package more closely, I see they're "SPICED JELLY BEANS"...OK, so I guess this is the kind of job people get when they make poor SAT scores and can't get into college. I'm going to be one of those people who think one day "HEY! Let's make money by substituting SPICES in for SUGAR! WHOO HOO!
So now I'm even more pissed off because my rebellion against God right now isn't pleasant, tasty, or working. Not to mention I'm having to eat oyster crackers right now to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
So basically I've got nothing in life. I'm apparently not smart although I'm a Junior Marshall and make all A's (except that stupid fucking B in Pre-Cal) and have a 4.395 GPA. Yea, I'm a total fucking idiot. Which it's not hard to temporarily memorize facts..yet I tend to forget them as soon as we finish going over things (particuarly in math). I might consider taking the ACT...though I'm not good at science either, so that may not be a good choice. I don't see why I just can't be smart. I'm not pretty either. And I'm kind of chubby. So I really don't think I'm going to get anywhere in life. What can I do? I mean, if some people are pretty and bony, atleast they can be on TV if they're not smart. Some people inherit money to live off of and don't have to work at all. I personally want to edit novels...but if I can't even get into college I really don't see that happening. Thomas who sits behind me in French class made a 1900-something his first try. I might try and get him to tutuor me or something. Still, I'm just so mad at how things are turning out (or, actually not turning out) for me. I don't know how I became so fucking stupid.
Speaking of God. I had a big FUCK YOU to Him today. So I ate candy. Right infront of Him. Sounds childish. But I did it because I gave up candy and soft drinks for lent and I guess I'm kind of pissed at how stupid He let me be. And the sucky part is, these stupid jelly beans are like sugarless because my step-mom is a fat-freak and they don't even taste good! And now that I look at the package more closely, I see they're "SPICED JELLY BEANS"...OK, so I guess this is the kind of job people get when they make poor SAT scores and can't get into college. I'm going to be one of those people who think one day "HEY! Let's make money by substituting SPICES in for SUGAR! WHOO HOO!
So now I'm even more pissed off because my rebellion against God right now isn't pleasant, tasty, or working. Not to mention I'm having to eat oyster crackers right now to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
So basically I've got nothing in life. I'm apparently not smart although I'm a Junior Marshall and make all A's (except that stupid fucking B in Pre-Cal) and have a 4.395 GPA. Yea, I'm a total fucking idiot. Which it's not hard to temporarily memorize facts..yet I tend to forget them as soon as we finish going over things (particuarly in math). I might consider taking the ACT...though I'm not good at science either, so that may not be a good choice. I don't see why I just can't be smart. I'm not pretty either. And I'm kind of chubby. So I really don't think I'm going to get anywhere in life. What can I do? I mean, if some people are pretty and bony, atleast they can be on TV if they're not smart. Some people inherit money to live off of and don't have to work at all. I personally want to edit novels...but if I can't even get into college I really don't see that happening. Thomas who sits behind me in French class made a 1900-something his first try. I might try and get him to tutuor me or something. Still, I'm just so mad at how things are turning out (or, actually not turning out) for me. I don't know how I became so fucking stupid.