Ode to the West
If anyone has ever thought that I am too proud and unwilling to admit to any mistakes, however minor, I can tell you now with utter conviction, unequivocally, that I inherited this trait from my parents and they are a thousand times worse than I am.
There is something pathetic about a person who feels that any comment is an attack on their person and rises defensively with an aggressive comment of their own.
As we were driving home, my mom glanced at the clock display and remarked that it wasn't even 8pm yet. My dad glances too and says, "Actually, it's already 8:30." In response, my mom checks the time ago and nearly runs a red light. My dad then begins to chide her for not paying attention to the road.
Perhaps it was a big mistake on my part. I said, "Well, to be fair Dad, you did distract her."
The arguments started.
"What do you mean, I distracted her? She could've just believed me, but nooo, your mom doesn't trust me, she has to see for herself if what I said is true."
"It's not that I don't believe you, it's that I was taken by surprise. I didn't realize that I'd read the time wrong!"
"Say whatever you want, you just don't trust me."
A petty reason for an argument, isn't it? But that's generally how arguments start in my family. Anything could become a matter of contention, an example of the lack of trust between my parents, or a subtle comment at the other's expense. This entire issue could have been skirted if my dad had been a big enough person to say, "I didn't mean to distract her" instead of turning the situation into an attack against him. But he also happens to be a terrible backseat driver (or in this case, passenger seat. He's the the most severe case I'd ever encountered), and he would never bypass an opportunity to tell my mom that she is not driving as well as she should. In this case, he's justified (in his own mind) to tell my mom off because her bad driving is a result of her own carelessness and refusal to listen to him. Regardless of the fact that she drives more often that he does, he still feels the need to tell her how to back a car into a spot or how to drive around an obstacle. He does it to my brother too. And my family wonders why I don't feel the urge to learn to drive.
What makes the problem worse is the last five years he spent in Thailand, which has taught him to expect nothing short of genuflection from the people around him. Not only a foreigner and an employee of the government, his relative wealth to the poverty of Thailand bought a semblance of awe and an extreme desire to please from the locals, something that my dad has found difficult to give up now that we've come back to Thailand. Unfortunately for us, it makes him difficult to live with. Everyday we are reminded how much better Thailand is. We've given up telling him it's not true for everyone.
The saddest part is that he's not an unusual case. Most Asian men are exactly like him -- they assume that they're always in the right, that they know better than everyone else and should be obeyed by everyone else, especially the women. Everyday, my dad likes to remind me that my brother is better than me. My brother might not be smarter than me, but people like him better.
My parents wonder why I don't like living in Taiwan.
There is something pathetic about a person who feels that any comment is an attack on their person and rises defensively with an aggressive comment of their own.
As we were driving home, my mom glanced at the clock display and remarked that it wasn't even 8pm yet. My dad glances too and says, "Actually, it's already 8:30." In response, my mom checks the time ago and nearly runs a red light. My dad then begins to chide her for not paying attention to the road.
Perhaps it was a big mistake on my part. I said, "Well, to be fair Dad, you did distract her."
The arguments started.
"What do you mean, I distracted her? She could've just believed me, but nooo, your mom doesn't trust me, she has to see for herself if what I said is true."
"It's not that I don't believe you, it's that I was taken by surprise. I didn't realize that I'd read the time wrong!"
"Say whatever you want, you just don't trust me."
A petty reason for an argument, isn't it? But that's generally how arguments start in my family. Anything could become a matter of contention, an example of the lack of trust between my parents, or a subtle comment at the other's expense. This entire issue could have been skirted if my dad had been a big enough person to say, "I didn't mean to distract her" instead of turning the situation into an attack against him. But he also happens to be a terrible backseat driver (or in this case, passenger seat. He's the the most severe case I'd ever encountered), and he would never bypass an opportunity to tell my mom that she is not driving as well as she should. In this case, he's justified (in his own mind) to tell my mom off because her bad driving is a result of her own carelessness and refusal to listen to him. Regardless of the fact that she drives more often that he does, he still feels the need to tell her how to back a car into a spot or how to drive around an obstacle. He does it to my brother too. And my family wonders why I don't feel the urge to learn to drive.
What makes the problem worse is the last five years he spent in Thailand, which has taught him to expect nothing short of genuflection from the people around him. Not only a foreigner and an employee of the government, his relative wealth to the poverty of Thailand bought a semblance of awe and an extreme desire to please from the locals, something that my dad has found difficult to give up now that we've come back to Thailand. Unfortunately for us, it makes him difficult to live with. Everyday we are reminded how much better Thailand is. We've given up telling him it's not true for everyone.
The saddest part is that he's not an unusual case. Most Asian men are exactly like him -- they assume that they're always in the right, that they know better than everyone else and should be obeyed by everyone else, especially the women. Everyday, my dad likes to remind me that my brother is better than me. My brother might not be smarter than me, but people like him better.
My parents wonder why I don't like living in Taiwan.