Les Rivières Pourpres II - Les Anges de L'Apocalypse [The Crimson Rivers 2] (2004)
Imagine a film where Lèon the Professional (Jean Reno) is a Sherlock Holmes-type who teams up with a young man's-man cop fresh out the academy and a research specialist cop chick to solve a bizarre set of Se7en-style murders, only these murders are linked to each of 13 guys that pretty much have the same name and look pretty much like Jesus and the Apostles from Il Cenacolo or L'Ultima Cena (The Last Supper).
Now, throw in a late appearance from Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) and an entire platoon of Christian Ninja Monks hopped up on Nazi amphetamines, and, of course, make the object of desire for Dooku and the Ninja Monks be a mysterious Christian text linked to the apocalypse that is kept in a crypt that happens to be accessible through the underground part of the Maginot Line . . .
Hey, you totally have this film I watched tonight.
Not kidding.
The freaking Maginot Line! The defense so amazing as designed by the French but so ludicrous as to not be mobile, built within the countryside, and not built into a perimeter, so fantastically French to the point that it hardly kept the Nazis from completely entering France above and below it . . .
I love the French.
Who makes a film with Ninja Monks, Count Dooku, Sherlock Lèon the Professional, and the Maginot Line? The French!
Everyone I watched it with thought it was a bad film.
I thought it was frigging fantastic.
This film was way awesome-r than I'm describing it, here. You totally have to see these Ninja Monks. They're freaking crazy. And there was this fire-fight inside the Maginot Line that was pretty freaking cool for cinematography.
Plus, Christopher Lee doesn't even have to try to look evil. He just looks evil every day, in every way.
I gave it a 6 of 10 on IMDB, just because I was totally surprised by the inclusion of the Maginot Line into the plot.
So, see, the Maginot Line wasn't totally useless.
I love the French.
Je suis L'Homme de la Batte!
