I want him back
As of about 3:00pm this afternoon, Father's Day I may add, I no longer have 2 dogs, I only have one. Kramer, my 11 year old doggie, was put down this afternoon, and I don't think I have cried so much in a long time. I am really sad, but still in a state of denial, because when I come home I still expect to see him here with Kasey, and hear him bark. I just can't believe that will never happen again. He was 11, and he has always been quite lazy and very calm, that's just how he is and always has been. And he was fine health wise, so we thought, until two days ago...he had a seizure, and we couldn't really notice any difference in him until yesterday. We took him to the vet, they had him for a few hours, and then we took him home and he was better, so I was happy. I came home this morning, and he looked dead. He could not walk and his breathing was so loud that it made me cry. We are all still confused as to what exactly even happened, all we know is that he has a very low red blood cell count and he wasn't getting any oxygen to his brain. So today we didn't know what to do with him, and finally decided to take him to the vet ER, where he said he was very sick, and we could either put him down or try blood transfusions, which has a 50/50 chance of only prolonging his misery, or it could just reject the blood very fast. And then if that didn't work he would need chemo. I am so torn because I hate the idea of putting any animal to sleep, because what if he was going to get better? Kasey almost got put down and then she fully recovered. What if that could have happened with Kramer? But my parents made the decision...while balling. I have never seen either of them cry so much, it was just a horrible experience. We held him while he died. But I want him back. I want him back because he was the greatest dog you could ever ask for, because my parents need to have him around, and Kasey needs him around, and he deserves to be around. I don't want him to suffer, and I know that now he isn't, but now he's not anything. He's not my dog anymore. I want him back.
My mom started talking about when he was a puppy and trying to remember the good times we had with him, and that only makes me sadder when I think that he will not be here anymore. I live my life believing that everything happens for a reason. But right now I cannot understand what kind of reason there was for this horrible, sudden event. He wasn't that sick or that old, so why?
My mom started talking about when he was a puppy and trying to remember the good times we had with him, and that only makes me sadder when I think that he will not be here anymore. I live my life believing that everything happens for a reason. But right now I cannot understand what kind of reason there was for this horrible, sudden event. He wasn't that sick or that old, so why?