Before I go...
"...Hey, you. Sissy."
This isn't the first time Johnny's been insulted while walking down the street, and it won't be the last. He's gotten used to it. Usually they aren't looking for a fight, they're just boys who think they're tough and want to show off a bit, and Johnny's girlish good looks make him a prime target.
"Whatcha wearing a pony-tail for?"
It used to bother him. At one point he had a mark on the wall in the office, and every morning he'd check his height against it to see if he'd gotten taller. He also tried to grow a beard. Which was stupid because he'd look really dumb with a beard, but at the time, he was desperate.
"Yeah, you some kinda queer or something?"
Now it doesn't bother him so much.
"Yeah, I'm queer," he says, grinning, crossing his arms. "Here comes my boyfriend now."
As all six feet of Shania walk slowly up the street towards him, Johnny wishes he had his camera. The looks on these guys' faces are priceless.
"Hey, doll," says Shania smoothly, and leans down to kiss him.
Johnny's grin grows wider. "Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen," he says cheerfully, "I'm off to be ravished."
I hereby solemnly swear that I will finish everyone's five things requests when I get back from Costa Rica. So if you don't mind waiting two and a half months, feel free to request another.