(no subject)
I just watched Amelie again. Cried throughout the whole damn movie. When I saw it the first time, I was with her, so I did my best not to cry, but this time, there's no one around, so I didn't care. Makes me want to experience happiness and love, without the betrayal and pain it causes. Right now I'm stuck in that little space between my bed and the wall. This is the second time in two days. Actually, within 26 hours, but the first time I was drunk, so that's admissible. I have no excuse right now. I've lost a lot of weight since I moved here. Well, I lost all the weight that I could lose. I'm not an anorexic, I just don't feel hunger anymore. So I eat less than once a day. This happened before I met her, and I dropped all the way down to 118. Now I'm at 146, but I should try to eat more. I've developed a lot of muscle from moving furniture. You know you're moving too much when you see your muscles getting bigger. Atleast there's a sort of buffer, for when my body needs to dissolve some body tissue for nourishment.