I'm pregnant...
okay so i need to vent. my mom actually has a myspace and because my boyfriend has one i really cant vent about the things i have in my head...and my stomach lol.
so the subject line is true...Aurora has gotten pregnant. I know I know...crazy. but get this. it's with a guy i wasn't dating. i thought we were going to get together and i thought it would last. but it didn't. a week after we had sex he told me that he didn't want to have a relationship. he was getting his life together and didn't think it would be fair to me.
bu anyways. we had sex maybe the end of the first week of december. and i didn't take a pregnancy test til after new years and that's when i found out. I took it at Brandon's house and we were back together at the time. and we still are. but he told me he couldn't be with me unless i got an abortion. and then the baby's dad wants me o get an abortion and won't ahve it any other way. (sounds like jay if anyone knows about that whole deal with laura) So i'm reall thinkin about an abortion. not just because both guys are saying so but because i was promising myself to get my life into order and stay out of trouble before i knew i was pregnant. blah...i'm still not completely sure about it though. part of me wants to keep it so bad. I don't want to regret it for the rest of my life.
anyways...the other thing i want to rant about is that i met a guy at work. I work at cheddars now. And i cheated on brandon with him. we had sex once. The guy's name is Gary. he's really great and i like him a lot and i want to be with him. And i am planning on ending things with brandon for good. not just because of Gary. but cause i've cheated on him so many times in the past and because he's saying i have to get an abortion which is wrong. plus i don't think we love each other enough anymore. especially if he's saying he can't be with me if i have a baby. Thats not love, that's him running away because things are getting harder then he ever thought they could. But i think Gary is upset with me. things aren't the same between us. he told me before that he wanted o be with me but he had to deal with some stuff. and so i'm waiting...but now he just seems kind of distant. and it all just sucks.
everything is falling apart for me. and i just want to cry because only one person knows everything. and that's katie. i've told her everything and i always keep her updated about things everyday. jsut as she keeps me posted with her love life and what not.
ugh i just want a hug and an easy button. i want to know the easy way to tell my parents about the baby. i want to know what i should do about the baby. i want to know how gary feels about me. I want to know why brandon is acting this way when all he ever says is that he loves me so much. and blah blah blah...
i just want to cry and i think i will go do that now. goodnight.
so the subject line is true...Aurora has gotten pregnant. I know I know...crazy. but get this. it's with a guy i wasn't dating. i thought we were going to get together and i thought it would last. but it didn't. a week after we had sex he told me that he didn't want to have a relationship. he was getting his life together and didn't think it would be fair to me.
bu anyways. we had sex maybe the end of the first week of december. and i didn't take a pregnancy test til after new years and that's when i found out. I took it at Brandon's house and we were back together at the time. and we still are. but he told me he couldn't be with me unless i got an abortion. and then the baby's dad wants me o get an abortion and won't ahve it any other way. (sounds like jay if anyone knows about that whole deal with laura) So i'm reall thinkin about an abortion. not just because both guys are saying so but because i was promising myself to get my life into order and stay out of trouble before i knew i was pregnant. blah...i'm still not completely sure about it though. part of me wants to keep it so bad. I don't want to regret it for the rest of my life.
anyways...the other thing i want to rant about is that i met a guy at work. I work at cheddars now. And i cheated on brandon with him. we had sex once. The guy's name is Gary. he's really great and i like him a lot and i want to be with him. And i am planning on ending things with brandon for good. not just because of Gary. but cause i've cheated on him so many times in the past and because he's saying i have to get an abortion which is wrong. plus i don't think we love each other enough anymore. especially if he's saying he can't be with me if i have a baby. Thats not love, that's him running away because things are getting harder then he ever thought they could. But i think Gary is upset with me. things aren't the same between us. he told me before that he wanted o be with me but he had to deal with some stuff. and so i'm waiting...but now he just seems kind of distant. and it all just sucks.
everything is falling apart for me. and i just want to cry because only one person knows everything. and that's katie. i've told her everything and i always keep her updated about things everyday. jsut as she keeps me posted with her love life and what not.
ugh i just want a hug and an easy button. i want to know the easy way to tell my parents about the baby. i want to know what i should do about the baby. i want to know how gary feels about me. I want to know why brandon is acting this way when all he ever says is that he loves me so much. and blah blah blah...
i just want to cry and i think i will go do that now. goodnight.