(no subject)
"There are only so many ways for me to say 'I'm lonely' and only so many times I can say it before it gets repetitive and whiny. I don't want to be whiny. I don't want to be sad--"
"You're not sad," he clarifies. "You're lonely. There's a difference--"
"But being lonely generally leads to being depressed," I say.
"Being lonely leads to being sad; being sad for too long leads to being depressed."
"Present--"
"I'm just saying--"
"Now is not the time to point out flaws in my word choice," I say. "You're supposed to be supportive."
"And I am. Even when you act crazy, I'm supportive, because I love you--and I love you for you, not because I pity you or because you're the only female option--but honey..." He sighs, frowns. "You have to face facts: You're always gonna be lonely. That's the fate of people like us. We're always lonely. Something keeps people apart from other people. Secrets. Lies. Insecurities. But not a lot of people realize it. They pretend it's not true. They make up more lies, more secrets. They only feel it very rarely."
"So?"
"'So?' Cris, you--you feel it all the time. You know what it is. We all do; it's why we function so well together. We're one big lonely commune, and your curse is that we're self aware of this. Too aware, maybe..."
"I wasn't always like this," I murmur. "I used to be happy a lot more often."
"Being happy or sad has nothing to do with being lonely--just as it has little to do with being a loner. I read that book." My Ghost pauses."You... When you're happy, you just notice the loneliness less. When you're sad, you notice it more. Regardless, it's always there. You're always lonely. We are all always lonely."
"You're not sad," he clarifies. "You're lonely. There's a difference--"
"But being lonely generally leads to being depressed," I say.
"Being lonely leads to being sad; being sad for too long leads to being depressed."
"Present--"
"I'm just saying--"
"Now is not the time to point out flaws in my word choice," I say. "You're supposed to be supportive."
"And I am. Even when you act crazy, I'm supportive, because I love you--and I love you for you, not because I pity you or because you're the only female option--but honey..." He sighs, frowns. "You have to face facts: You're always gonna be lonely. That's the fate of people like us. We're always lonely. Something keeps people apart from other people. Secrets. Lies. Insecurities. But not a lot of people realize it. They pretend it's not true. They make up more lies, more secrets. They only feel it very rarely."
"So?"
"'So?' Cris, you--you feel it all the time. You know what it is. We all do; it's why we function so well together. We're one big lonely commune, and your curse is that we're self aware of this. Too aware, maybe..."
"I wasn't always like this," I murmur. "I used to be happy a lot more often."
"Being happy or sad has nothing to do with being lonely--just as it has little to do with being a loner. I read that book." My Ghost pauses."You... When you're happy, you just notice the loneliness less. When you're sad, you notice it more. Regardless, it's always there. You're always lonely. We are all always lonely."