Fic: The Girl: Fall (3/4)
Fandom: Hey Arnold AU
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Still don't own Hey Arnold.
Summary: Musicals, confessions and Lila's boobs
Author's Note: Jesus, I totally fell off the horse here. Even though I was done writing the whole thing, I didn't look at this chapter for months because it needed a major revision...well it's revised and finished now. So, onward with The Girl!
"Alright, class dismissed! Be sure to read chapters seven through eleven this weekend!"
Arnold put his backpack on his desk and started cramming his books inside. He watched his classmates leave: Harold with his arm slung around Rhonda's shoulders, Sid cooing at a frog in a portable fish tank, Helga throwing her head back and laughing at something Phoebe said. Arnold smiled. He liked that his Junior year English class was almost the same setup as last year, complete with the same teacher, Mr. Simmons. It was familiar, and that familiarity was nice. There was only one person missing. She had the morning English class instead. Arnold sighed deeply.
Gerald nudged him against his shoulder. "Mope later, loverboy. I wanna go home!"
Arnold narrowed his eyes and slipped his arms through the straps of his backpack. "Who said I was moping?"
"Your face. You had "The Look". You know..." Gerald pouted dramatically, clutching both hands to his chest. "This look."
"Gerald, that is not even close to how "The Look" looks. Wait...there isn't even a Look!" Arnold walked towards the door. Gerald followed him.
"There is too a Look. There's been a Look ever since Lila dumped you."
Arnold stopped walking and hung his head. "I'm pathetic."
"Maybe." Arnold looked up and glared. Gerald held his hands in front of him defensively. "I said 'maybe'!" Arnold groaned in frustration.
They were halfway out the door when Mr. Simmons called out. "Arnold, would you mind if I talked to you in private for a few minutes?"
"Umm...sure."
Gerald gave Mr. Simmons a curious stare before waving to Arnold. "I'll be waiting by your locker, buddy."
After Gerald left, Mr. Simmons stood up and closed the classroom door. Arnold gripped the straps of his backpack nervously. Was he in trouble?
Mr. Simmons turned around to face him with a determined look. Arnold noticed dark circles under his eyes.
"You know Arnold, you enunciate very clearly whenever you read aloud in class."
Arnold loosened his grip on his backpack straps. "Uh...thanks?"
Mr. Simmons smiled broadly, then sat back behind his desk, motioning for Arnold to take a seat in one of the desks facing him. Arnold sat down slowly, backpack still on his shoulders.
"So Arnold, tell me: can you sing?"
* * *
"I can't believe you agreed to this, man."
"He begged me! He looked so tired...well, I just couldn't say no."
Gerald looked over at Arnold and grinned. "You're way too nice, my man."
"Yeah, I guess...cat!!" Arnold pointed ahead of him.
Gerald turned his eyes back to the road and slammed on the brakes, stopping a foot away from a brown cat. It hissed at Gerald's car then ran into an alley.
Gerald let out a relieved sigh before continuing to drive. "That was close. I'm pretty sure that was Cupcake too--I would be screwed if I killed Harold's cat."
Arnold nodded. He gripped the sides of his seat tightly. Maybe he should've just walked to school...
But the rest of the ride was uneventful. Gerald pulled in front of the auditorium. "Well, here you are. All ready to go to school...on a Saturday."
"Yep."
"Are you sure you wanna do this? All I have to do is shift this baby back into drive and we can hide out downtown."
Arnold looked tempted. But he shook his head. "I can't, Gerald. Mr. Simmons is counting on me. And, well...you know the other reason."
Gerald sighed. "You're a bold kid, Arnold." He leaned forward and pinched his cheek. "Have a good day at practice, honey!"
Arnold batted his hand away and rolled his eyes.
* * *
"Okay everyone, I want you to meet our new Eugene: Arnold!"
The cast and crew looked up at Arnold as he walked onto the stage. He waved nervously.
"Now I know this is quite a big change up so I'm depending on all of you to help Arnold out so he can shine as our new Eugene!"
Mr. Simmons guided Arnold closer to the cast. He motioned towards a dark haired boy with glasses. "Okay, Arnold, this is Thaddeus. He'll be playing your arch-nemesis, Lawrence." Arnold nodded at him; Thaddeus smiled.
"You already know Lila. She'll be playing your love interest, Betty."
Arnold shyly glanced towards Lila. He hadn't really spoken to her since their breakup a few months ago. She smiled at him politely. Arnold grinned broadly. This was it. This was his chance to prove to Lila how much he still cared about her. He wasn't going to give up on her yet...
Someone behind Lila scoffed. He peered behind Lila and locked eyes with Helga.
"And of course you know Helga. She's our set painter."
"And general wit," Thaddeus added dryly.
Helga didn't look away from Arnold. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, but he held her stare.
She quickly glanced between him and Lila and smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. "And I'm quite observant to boot," she added. Arnold's face turned red.
The moment was broken when a redhead boy in a wheelchair rolled up to Arnold. Both of his legs were in casts. He stopped right in front of Arnold and searched his face thoroughly, his lips pursed. Arnold looked around nervously, but everyone was watching the redhead boy intently. Except Helga. She was still looking at Arnold.
"Don't panic," she mouthed. Arnold instantly relaxed.
Suddenly, the redhead boy's face broke out into a huge grin. He reached forward and took Arnold's hand.
"Mr. Simmons, you found an excellent replacement! Arnold, you're going to be great as Eugene. There's something in your eyes, this...shining optimism. It's perfect!" He patted Arnold's hand happily, while the rest of the cast murmured excitedly. "Now c'mon, let me introduce you to the rest of the cast!"
Arnold cleared his throat, embarrassed by all the praise. "I didn't catch your name?"
"Oh! I'm Eugene."
"...Really?"
"Yep! This is my favorite musical, and I was really looking forward to playing my namesake. But..." he motioned sadly towards his legs. He shook his head and smiled again. "It's okay though! Mr. Simmons said I could help direct since I know the musical so well. And like I said, I can tell that you're going to be great, Arnold. Now, this is Sheena, and she'll be playing your Aunt..."
The next few hours passed by in a blur. It was a bit hard diving into a production that was already well underway but the cast was very forgiving.
Finally, they were done for the day. The cast all offered words of encouragement towards Arnold before leaving. Lila even patted Arnold on the shoulder supportively before pushing Eugene towards the exit. Arnold stood alone on the stage and stared after her, smiling goofily, one hand touching the spot she just touched.
"You're a real sap, Arnold."
He turned around. Helga was standing behind him, a paintbrush held loosely in one hand. White paint was slowly dripping onto the stage.
"You're getting paint on the stage."
Helga looked down. "Fucking shit! She cupped a hand under the paintbrush and ran backstage. Arnold followed her.
Helga dropped the paintbrush back into the bucket. She turned around and looked surprised to see Arnold standing there. "What?"
He motioned towards one of the backdrops, a cardboard cutout of a house. "Do you need any help?"
Helga shrugged. "Sure." She bent down a picked up a dry paintbrush from a pile on the floor, holding it out to him. Arnold walked towards her and took it. Helga leaned down and picked up the paintbrush in the bucket, wiping the excess paint on the sides. She sat down crossed legged in front of the cardboard house. Arnold dipped his paintbrush in the paint can and sat down next to her.
They painted together in silence.
Helga broke the silence first. "You're a real sap, Arnold."
Arnold didn't look at her. "You already said that."
"It's worth repeating. You can't fool me, Captain Obvious. You're in this to win your girl back."
Despite the truth of her statement, Arnold blushed, embarrassed. "So what?" he mumbled. "Maybe I'm a romantic."
Helga stopped painting and looked at him. Arnold eventually stopped as well and met her gaze. She leaned towards him, searching his eyes. Arnold drew back instinctively.
"What?" he said nervously.
"There's something in you," she said softly. She leaned closer. "Something in your eyes...that says you're a total fucking sap!" She stuck out her tongue.
Arnold narrowed his eyes...then brushed a swatch of paint on Helga's forearm.
"Hey!" She wiped her arm off on his jeans.
"Hey!! Helga, c'mon!"
"You started it."
"No, you did."
"You."
"You!"
They glared at each other...then burst out laughing. They both resumed their work.
"Hey, Arnold?"
"Yeah?"
"I...umm...I hope you get Lil--I mean, I hope you get what you want. Because...you're okay. I mean, I think you're okay, so she should--I mean, you're just okay. Okay?"
Arnold looked at her. Helga was staring determinedly at the cardboard house, painting. He put his hand over her free one. She stopped painting and looked at him.
Arnold smiled. "Thanks, Helga. You're okay too."
She gave him a small smile and shook his hand off hers. "Okay, back to work."
* * *
"Okay, cut!" Great job, Arnold, Lila." Lila grabbed the edges of her dress and gave a small curtsy and Arnold tilted his hat towards Eugene. It was the day before the premiere and they were in dress rehearsal. "Thaddeus, can I ask you a favor?"
Thaddeus tapped his cane on the stage floor nervously. "What? It's my laugh, isn't it? It's too maniacal, right?"
Eugene let go of one of his crutches, holding it in place under his arm as he scratched his chin. "Actually, Tad, I was going to say it wasn't maniacal enough."
Thaddeus dropped his cane in shock. "Really?" Eugene nodded. Thaddeus ran over and scooped up Eugene in a huge hug. His crutches clattered to the floor. "You have no idea how happy you've made me!"
"That's great, Tad, but umm...can you put me down?"
"Uh, sure. Sorry. Lila, Arnold could you help me--?" Lila and Arnold both rushed up and grabbed Eugene's crutches, placing one under each arm. "Thanks." Thaddeus gently lowered Eugene back on his crutches. "Sorry about that, Eugene. But it's just...no one ever told me I needed to be more maniacal. It was just...validation!" Thaddeus raised a fist in the air.
Lila congratulated Thaddeus while Arnold smiled and glanced out towards the auditorium. He was surprised to see no one there.
"Okay, let's try that scene again. Arnold?" Arnold looked back towards the stage. Eugene and Lila were looking at him expectantly, while Thaddeus was staring at him thoughtfully.
"Yeah...sorry."
After their last rehearsal (and a rousing motivational speech from Eugene) Arnold loitered on the stage while the rest of the cast and crew went backstage to change. He sat down at the end of the stage, his feet dangling in the orchestra pit. He stared out at the empty seats.
Where was Helga?
Even though she had finished building the sets weeks ago, Helga always hung around during rehearsal. When he asked her why, she told him she was Thaddeus's ride. He gotten used to her presence in the front row. They'd always share looks over Eugene's directing tips, like "Flutter like a butterfly, Lila!" or "Sing like you're surrounded by unicorns!" Sometime she'd even mouth his lines to him when he forgot.
Suddenly, someone plopped down beside him. He looked up, smiling. It was only Thaddeus. His smile faltered a little. Maybe he knew where Helga was...
Arnold decided to ease into asking. "Hey Thaddeus. Nervous about tomorrow?"
Thaddeus however, cut straight to the chase. "Looking for Helga?"
Arnold blushed. "Err, yeah, actually. She was just here earlier...I guess I didn't see her leave."
Thaddeus cleared his throat awkwardly. "She had to go somewhere."
Arnold looked at him curiously. "Something important?"
He nodded. Arnold waited for him to offer up more information, but Thaddeus just looked down into the orchestra pit, kicking his legs back and forth.
Arnold sighed, fed up. "Do I have to guess?"
Thaddeus shook his head, his eyes still glued to the floor. "I'm gonna tell you, it's just..."
Arnold rested his hand on Thaddeus's shoulder. "You don't have to tell me."
Thaddeus smiled gratefully, then stood up. "No, it's alright. I think she wanted me to tell you. I don't think she could do it herself." He handed Arnold a folded piece of paper.
"See you tomorrow night, Arnold." He walked backstage.
Arnold opened up the piece of paper. There was an address was written on it. He stood up.
Time to find Helga.
* * *
He found her immediately, despite the size of the location. She was near the entrance, sitting crossed legged next to an old oak tree.
The headstone in front of her read: Robert Pataki, Beloved Husband and Father.
"You gonna lurk back there all day, Arnold?"
He stiffened. He should've known that she'd know he was there. It was like she had an Arnold-sense or something. She didn't turn around, just patted the ground next to her. An invitation.
Arnold walked up and sat down beside her. "Tad told me you were here."
She smiled. "Good boy."
Arnold picked up a handful of orange leaves and scattered them on the ground. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's kind of hard to work in 'My Dad's dead' into casual conversation, you know." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. "Besides I'm telling you right now. This is me. Telling you."
"How did he--?"
"Heart attack. He literally worked himself to death, seven years ago today." She paused and opened her eyes. "The bastard."
Arnold had no clue what to say to that.
Helga smiled and closed her eyes again. "You know, when I was a kid, I hated him. Always buried in his beeper business. Jesus, how 90's.
"Most of the kids around town hated him too. He cut down this old tree, Mighty Pete, in order to build another beeper store. God, what a fucking blowhard he was."
Arnold fidgeted nervously, trying to think of something to say.
"Stop that squirming."
He stopped immediately. "Sorry." He took a deep breath. "Look, Helga--"
She cut him off. "I'll never forget the last thing he said to me. It was minutes before he died. I thought he was going to give me some epic speech about all my shortcomings and how I had to work to make him proud after his death.
"But he just patted me on the head and said: 'You're a good kid, Helga.' And then he was gone."
Helga stood up and dusted off her legs. She looked down at Arnold. "You know, sometimes I think I love him more now that he's gone." She chuckled. "How fucked is that?"
Arnold stood up and stared at her, before wrapping her arms around her. She stiffened for a minute before relaxing into the hug.
"That fucked, huh?" She said jokingly.
Arnold slowly let her go and smiled. "Not fucked at all."
Helga gasped over-dramatically. "Why, Arnold! I do believe you just said the f-word!"
Arnold smirked. "What, 'fudgy bar'?"
Helga laughed. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." She started to walk away. Arnold grabbed her wrist. She stopped and turned around. "What?"
"I...umm...are you gonna be okay?"
"Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She smirked. "And you! You better get your beauty sleep, mister. Tomorrow's the night you get your girl back!" She walked off, singing, "If it takes forever, I will wait for you..."
Arnold watched her go. Once she was out of sight, he turned back towards Robert Pataki's headstone.
"You would be proud," he said softly.
* * *
Eugene was in tears.
The cast and crew were crammed into the dressing room. Sheena was patting Arnold's face with powder with one hand; in the other she held a tissue box in front of Eugene.
Eugene grabbed another tissue and dabbed at his eyes. "Oh, I'm so proud of you all!"
"Eugene..." Thaddeus said slowly. "The show hasn't even started yet."
"Yeah," Helga said. She was sitting backwards in a chair, tipping it forward. "Give it a chance to fail, Eugene."
Instead of getting mad at what Helga said, Eugene started sobbing openly. He snatched the tissue box away from Sheena. "Oh, Helga! Where would we have been without your scathing cynicism?"
Helga groaned.
"Arnold?" He turned around and saw Lila leaning close to him.
"Yeah?"
"Good luck out there."
Arnold smiled. "Actually, Lila, I think you're supposed to say 'Break a leg'."
She giggled demurely. "I know. But given what happened to Eugene...I thought 'Good Luck' might be more appropriate."
"You're right." They shared a smile before Lila turned away. Arnold looked up. Helga was staring at him. He smiled at her. She didn't smile back. Arnold tilted his head, confused.
"You okay?" he mouthed.
For a split second, a desperately sad look crossed her face. Helga shook her head and frowned. Then she stood up abruptly and walked out.
Now Arnold was really confused. He was just about to follow her when Mr. Simmons walked in and told them it was time to take their places.
* * *
Eugene had every reason to be proud: the show went off without a hitch. The crying in the dressing room before the show was nothing compared to the tears now--Eugene was practically wailing. Wailing with joy, of course. The dressing room was packed again, filled with the cast and crew and family and friends.
Arnold smiled and chatted with everyone who praised him, but really, he just wanted to find Helga. He hadn't seen her since she stormed out of the dressing room before the show started. He had to know that she was okay. He told his parents that he was going out to get fresh air. He almost made it to the door before Lila stopped him.
"Oh, excuse me Lila--"
She cut him off with a hug. "Oh, Arnold, you were ever so brilliant!"
Arnold awkwardly hugged her back. "Uh, thanks. You were great too, Lila."
Lila pulled away and looked up at him shyly. It reminded him of the first time he talked to her.
"Are you going to Rhonda's house tonight? She's throwing a little after-party. I'm sure it will be ever so much fun..."
"Maybe. Actually, I'm looking for Helga right now. Have you seen her?"
Lila looked surprised. But then she smiled knowingly. "I'm ever so sorry Arnold, but I haven't seen her. When you find her you can bring her to Rhonda's party, okay?"
"Yeah, I will," he mumbled distractedly. "Look, I'm gonna go look for her outside. I'll see you later, Lila."
She smiled brightly. "Goodbye, Arnold." She leaned forward and gave him another hug. "You deserve to be happy."
Arnold patted her back, confused. "Okay?"
And as he walked out into the hallway, he head Lila call after him: "And good luck!"
* * *
Arnold found Helga sitting outside on the steps leading up to the auditorium. He paused. Now that he'd found her, he wasn't quite sure what to do.
"I know you're there. My Arnold sense is tingling."
Arnold smiled and sat down beside her on the steps. "Hey."
"Hey." She drew her knees up to her chest.
"You kinda...disappeared."
"Yeah." She didn't offer any more explanation. They sat in silence.
"So...the show went well."
"Did it?" She was examining her fingernails.
Arnold glared at her, irritated by her nonchalance. "Yeah, it did. You would've known if you would have watched it. I didn't forget one line--"
"So are you and Lila together now or what?"
Arnold stared at her, confused. "What?"
Helga sighed, exasperated. "Wasn't that the whole reason you did this stupid musical? To woo Lila back?"
"Oh. Well...no, we're not together. Actually," he laughed, "I kinda blew her off just now. I suppose it's for the best. You were right, I shouldn't be so hung up on her. Plenty of fish in the sea--"
Helga cut him off and kissed him. Arnold wondered if that was just how American girls did things before it registered that Helga was kissing him. Kissing! Him!
Before he could even think of a proper response (his hands hovered nervously above her hands), Helga pulled away. She looked at him, terrified. "Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck!"
"What?" Arnold said dumbly.
Helga stood up and started pacing up and down the steps. "Oh, shit. What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn't supposed to kiss you. You were never supposed to know! You were supposed to fall back into Lila's arms and bury your face in her boobs and I would give you a thumbs up and that would be it. But I've fucked it up. I'VE FUCKED IT UP!" Helga slapped her hands to her face in horror. "Now Lila will NEVER let you bury your face in her boobs!"
Arnold just stared at her, confused beyond all reason. "Why are you talking about Lila's boobs?"
Helga stopped pacing. She pointed at Arnold accusingly. "You! You FUCK! You made me do this! With your PERFECT green eyes and your PERFECT compassion and your PERFECT friendship! You made me spill about Harold! And my Dad! I've never told ANYONE those things! And you made me kiss you! YOU made me fall in love with you!"
Helga slapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide.
Arnold's eyes were just as wide. He slowly stood up. "You...you love me?"
Helga dropped her hands from her mouth. "I...I gotta go."
And then she ran off.
Arnold just stood there.
* * *
"So where did you disappear to last night, Shortman?"
Arnold dropped his fork nervously. It bounced off his pancakes and onto the floor. He bent down to pick it up. "Nowhere, Grandpa. Just outside. To get some air."
"Oh, I see." Grandpa cut into his own pancakes. He looked across the table at Dad; they shared a look. "So, is 'getting some air' some sort of hipster slang for 'kissing a girl'?"
Arnold turned bright red. "GRANDPA!" His eyes narrowed. "You followed me!"
Grandpa laughed. "Not really. I was on my way to get the car and well...I saw what I saw."
Dad ruffled Arnold's hair affectionately. "My boy's growing up."
Arnold slumped back into his chair. "Daaad," he whined, embarrassed.
"What? I'm proud!"
Arnold groaned. "I don't know what to do," he said.
Grandpa and Dad looked confused. "What do you mean?" Dad asked.
"Helga kissed me! And then she told me she loved me! And then she talked about Lila's boobs! And then she ran off! And I don't know what to do about any of if it!"
Grandpa scratched his head. "Is talking about a girl's boobs more hipster slang talk?"
Arnold sighed. "No, Grandpa." He ran his hands down his face. "I'm sorry for blowing up, it's just...she's just...."
Grandpa and Dad leaned forward expectantly.
Arnold looked at them both. "How...how did you know when you found The Girl?"
They looked surprised by his question.
"Well--" Dad started, but Grandpa cut him off.
"Miles, let me handle this."
Dad gave Grandpa a thoughtful look, then motioned for him to go ahead.
"Well Arnold, get comfortable, this is a long one. Get your snack cravings and bathroom breaks out now."
"Go ahead, Grandpa. I'm ready."
"Well, if you're sure. So you wanna know if you've found The Girl, eh? You know, when I met your Grandma, I was even younger than you are right now. She was a terror back in grade school, always calling me names and playing pranks on me. She'd always pick on me in particular but I never really gave her the time of day.
"And then we grew up. And she hung around. She still teased me, of course, but we became friends somehow. And then one day, I realized I was in love with her."
Arnold waited for Grandpa to continue, but he didn't. "That's it?" he said incredulously.
"Yep. You see, Shortman, finding The Girl isn't some huge epic quest with a lovely princess waiting with open arms at the end. It just happens. It's life. You just stumble through and then you find the girl that means the most to you. Sometimes it's expected, sometimes it's not, sometimes you're friends, sometimes you're not, sometimes you meet her in grade school or in the middle of the jungle or when you move to America. And sometimes you find the girl when you're 'getting some air' or talking about ladies breasts."
Arnold heard a sniff from beside him and turned to see his Dad crying. He wiped his eyes. "That was beautiful, Dad."
Grandpa patted him on the shoulder. "You always were such a loveable sap, son."
* * *
Arnold steeled himself. He could do this.
He rang the doorbell.
A middle aged woman with glasses answered. "Yes?"
"Hi. Is...is Helga home?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, she's not here right now."
Arnold frowned. "Do you know when she'll be back?"
"I'm not sure." She adjusted her glasses and peered down at the boy. "Wait--are you...are you Arnold?"
Arnold felt his face heat up. "Uh...yeah."
He heard another pair of footsteps rush towards the door. A younger woman appeared behind the woman with glasses. "Oooooh! So you're Arnold!" Both women looked at each other and smiled excitedly.
Arnold took a step back, embarrassed. "Well, if Helga's not here, I guess I'll be going--"
"Wait, Arnold!" The younger woman grabbed his wrist. "Baby sister said she was going to the park. I'm sure you'll find her there."
"Thanks...uh..."
"Olga. I'm Helga's big sister." She gently pushed Arnold down the steps. "Now, go!" Both women waved at him happily as he headed towards the park.
* * *
Helga was sitting in the same bench where he sulked after Lila broke up with him. He walked up and sat down next to her; she didn't say anything.
"What, is your Arnold-sense broken?" he teased.
She looked down at her feet. "What do you want?"
Arnold ran a hand through his hair. Might as well get to it. "Look, Helga, I wanted to talk about last night--"
"About that. Look Arnold, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to say all that mushy stuff. I was confused. I mean, it was the heat of the moment. I mean..." she sighed, frustrated. "Can we just forget about it...please?" She looked at him pleadingly.
Arnold stared at her. He nodded slowly. "We could..."
Helga let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks--"
Arnold grabbed her hands. "But it wouldn't change anything."
Helga looked at their linked hands, then back up at his face. "Huh?"
"It wouldn't change anything, because deep down, you'd still be the sap who said all those mushy things..."
"Hey."
He squeezed her hands. "...And I'd still be the guy who loves you for it." He paused thoughtfully. "Except I could care less about Lila's boobs."
Helga stared at him, shocked. "You...what?"
Arnold leaned in and kissed her. She froze for a second, but then pulled her hands out of his, grabbed his face, and kissed him back.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.
"You're the one who's the giant fucking sap," Helga whispered. She rubbed her thumbs gently across his cheekbones.
He smiled. "It kinda runs in the family. Besides, you know you love it."
She bit her lip. "Don't tell."
"I won't," he whispered as he kissed her again.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Still don't own Hey Arnold.
Summary: Musicals, confessions and Lila's boobs
Author's Note: Jesus, I totally fell off the horse here. Even though I was done writing the whole thing, I didn't look at this chapter for months because it needed a major revision...well it's revised and finished now. So, onward with The Girl!
"Alright, class dismissed! Be sure to read chapters seven through eleven this weekend!"
Arnold put his backpack on his desk and started cramming his books inside. He watched his classmates leave: Harold with his arm slung around Rhonda's shoulders, Sid cooing at a frog in a portable fish tank, Helga throwing her head back and laughing at something Phoebe said. Arnold smiled. He liked that his Junior year English class was almost the same setup as last year, complete with the same teacher, Mr. Simmons. It was familiar, and that familiarity was nice. There was only one person missing. She had the morning English class instead. Arnold sighed deeply.
Gerald nudged him against his shoulder. "Mope later, loverboy. I wanna go home!"
Arnold narrowed his eyes and slipped his arms through the straps of his backpack. "Who said I was moping?"
"Your face. You had "The Look". You know..." Gerald pouted dramatically, clutching both hands to his chest. "This look."
"Gerald, that is not even close to how "The Look" looks. Wait...there isn't even a Look!" Arnold walked towards the door. Gerald followed him.
"There is too a Look. There's been a Look ever since Lila dumped you."
Arnold stopped walking and hung his head. "I'm pathetic."
"Maybe." Arnold looked up and glared. Gerald held his hands in front of him defensively. "I said 'maybe'!" Arnold groaned in frustration.
They were halfway out the door when Mr. Simmons called out. "Arnold, would you mind if I talked to you in private for a few minutes?"
"Umm...sure."
Gerald gave Mr. Simmons a curious stare before waving to Arnold. "I'll be waiting by your locker, buddy."
After Gerald left, Mr. Simmons stood up and closed the classroom door. Arnold gripped the straps of his backpack nervously. Was he in trouble?
Mr. Simmons turned around to face him with a determined look. Arnold noticed dark circles under his eyes.
"You know Arnold, you enunciate very clearly whenever you read aloud in class."
Arnold loosened his grip on his backpack straps. "Uh...thanks?"
Mr. Simmons smiled broadly, then sat back behind his desk, motioning for Arnold to take a seat in one of the desks facing him. Arnold sat down slowly, backpack still on his shoulders.
"So Arnold, tell me: can you sing?"
* * *
"I can't believe you agreed to this, man."
"He begged me! He looked so tired...well, I just couldn't say no."
Gerald looked over at Arnold and grinned. "You're way too nice, my man."
"Yeah, I guess...cat!!" Arnold pointed ahead of him.
Gerald turned his eyes back to the road and slammed on the brakes, stopping a foot away from a brown cat. It hissed at Gerald's car then ran into an alley.
Gerald let out a relieved sigh before continuing to drive. "That was close. I'm pretty sure that was Cupcake too--I would be screwed if I killed Harold's cat."
Arnold nodded. He gripped the sides of his seat tightly. Maybe he should've just walked to school...
But the rest of the ride was uneventful. Gerald pulled in front of the auditorium. "Well, here you are. All ready to go to school...on a Saturday."
"Yep."
"Are you sure you wanna do this? All I have to do is shift this baby back into drive and we can hide out downtown."
Arnold looked tempted. But he shook his head. "I can't, Gerald. Mr. Simmons is counting on me. And, well...you know the other reason."
Gerald sighed. "You're a bold kid, Arnold." He leaned forward and pinched his cheek. "Have a good day at practice, honey!"
Arnold batted his hand away and rolled his eyes.
* * *
"Okay everyone, I want you to meet our new Eugene: Arnold!"
The cast and crew looked up at Arnold as he walked onto the stage. He waved nervously.
"Now I know this is quite a big change up so I'm depending on all of you to help Arnold out so he can shine as our new Eugene!"
Mr. Simmons guided Arnold closer to the cast. He motioned towards a dark haired boy with glasses. "Okay, Arnold, this is Thaddeus. He'll be playing your arch-nemesis, Lawrence." Arnold nodded at him; Thaddeus smiled.
"You already know Lila. She'll be playing your love interest, Betty."
Arnold shyly glanced towards Lila. He hadn't really spoken to her since their breakup a few months ago. She smiled at him politely. Arnold grinned broadly. This was it. This was his chance to prove to Lila how much he still cared about her. He wasn't going to give up on her yet...
Someone behind Lila scoffed. He peered behind Lila and locked eyes with Helga.
"And of course you know Helga. She's our set painter."
"And general wit," Thaddeus added dryly.
Helga didn't look away from Arnold. He was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, but he held her stare.
She quickly glanced between him and Lila and smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. "And I'm quite observant to boot," she added. Arnold's face turned red.
The moment was broken when a redhead boy in a wheelchair rolled up to Arnold. Both of his legs were in casts. He stopped right in front of Arnold and searched his face thoroughly, his lips pursed. Arnold looked around nervously, but everyone was watching the redhead boy intently. Except Helga. She was still looking at Arnold.
"Don't panic," she mouthed. Arnold instantly relaxed.
Suddenly, the redhead boy's face broke out into a huge grin. He reached forward and took Arnold's hand.
"Mr. Simmons, you found an excellent replacement! Arnold, you're going to be great as Eugene. There's something in your eyes, this...shining optimism. It's perfect!" He patted Arnold's hand happily, while the rest of the cast murmured excitedly. "Now c'mon, let me introduce you to the rest of the cast!"
Arnold cleared his throat, embarrassed by all the praise. "I didn't catch your name?"
"Oh! I'm Eugene."
"...Really?"
"Yep! This is my favorite musical, and I was really looking forward to playing my namesake. But..." he motioned sadly towards his legs. He shook his head and smiled again. "It's okay though! Mr. Simmons said I could help direct since I know the musical so well. And like I said, I can tell that you're going to be great, Arnold. Now, this is Sheena, and she'll be playing your Aunt..."
The next few hours passed by in a blur. It was a bit hard diving into a production that was already well underway but the cast was very forgiving.
Finally, they were done for the day. The cast all offered words of encouragement towards Arnold before leaving. Lila even patted Arnold on the shoulder supportively before pushing Eugene towards the exit. Arnold stood alone on the stage and stared after her, smiling goofily, one hand touching the spot she just touched.
"You're a real sap, Arnold."
He turned around. Helga was standing behind him, a paintbrush held loosely in one hand. White paint was slowly dripping onto the stage.
"You're getting paint on the stage."
Helga looked down. "Fucking shit! She cupped a hand under the paintbrush and ran backstage. Arnold followed her.
Helga dropped the paintbrush back into the bucket. She turned around and looked surprised to see Arnold standing there. "What?"
He motioned towards one of the backdrops, a cardboard cutout of a house. "Do you need any help?"
Helga shrugged. "Sure." She bent down a picked up a dry paintbrush from a pile on the floor, holding it out to him. Arnold walked towards her and took it. Helga leaned down and picked up the paintbrush in the bucket, wiping the excess paint on the sides. She sat down crossed legged in front of the cardboard house. Arnold dipped his paintbrush in the paint can and sat down next to her.
They painted together in silence.
Helga broke the silence first. "You're a real sap, Arnold."
Arnold didn't look at her. "You already said that."
"It's worth repeating. You can't fool me, Captain Obvious. You're in this to win your girl back."
Despite the truth of her statement, Arnold blushed, embarrassed. "So what?" he mumbled. "Maybe I'm a romantic."
Helga stopped painting and looked at him. Arnold eventually stopped as well and met her gaze. She leaned towards him, searching his eyes. Arnold drew back instinctively.
"What?" he said nervously.
"There's something in you," she said softly. She leaned closer. "Something in your eyes...that says you're a total fucking sap!" She stuck out her tongue.
Arnold narrowed his eyes...then brushed a swatch of paint on Helga's forearm.
"Hey!" She wiped her arm off on his jeans.
"Hey!! Helga, c'mon!"
"You started it."
"No, you did."
"You."
"You!"
They glared at each other...then burst out laughing. They both resumed their work.
"Hey, Arnold?"
"Yeah?"
"I...umm...I hope you get Lil--I mean, I hope you get what you want. Because...you're okay. I mean, I think you're okay, so she should--I mean, you're just okay. Okay?"
Arnold looked at her. Helga was staring determinedly at the cardboard house, painting. He put his hand over her free one. She stopped painting and looked at him.
Arnold smiled. "Thanks, Helga. You're okay too."
She gave him a small smile and shook his hand off hers. "Okay, back to work."
* * *
"Okay, cut!" Great job, Arnold, Lila." Lila grabbed the edges of her dress and gave a small curtsy and Arnold tilted his hat towards Eugene. It was the day before the premiere and they were in dress rehearsal. "Thaddeus, can I ask you a favor?"
Thaddeus tapped his cane on the stage floor nervously. "What? It's my laugh, isn't it? It's too maniacal, right?"
Eugene let go of one of his crutches, holding it in place under his arm as he scratched his chin. "Actually, Tad, I was going to say it wasn't maniacal enough."
Thaddeus dropped his cane in shock. "Really?" Eugene nodded. Thaddeus ran over and scooped up Eugene in a huge hug. His crutches clattered to the floor. "You have no idea how happy you've made me!"
"That's great, Tad, but umm...can you put me down?"
"Uh, sure. Sorry. Lila, Arnold could you help me--?" Lila and Arnold both rushed up and grabbed Eugene's crutches, placing one under each arm. "Thanks." Thaddeus gently lowered Eugene back on his crutches. "Sorry about that, Eugene. But it's just...no one ever told me I needed to be more maniacal. It was just...validation!" Thaddeus raised a fist in the air.
Lila congratulated Thaddeus while Arnold smiled and glanced out towards the auditorium. He was surprised to see no one there.
"Okay, let's try that scene again. Arnold?" Arnold looked back towards the stage. Eugene and Lila were looking at him expectantly, while Thaddeus was staring at him thoughtfully.
"Yeah...sorry."
After their last rehearsal (and a rousing motivational speech from Eugene) Arnold loitered on the stage while the rest of the cast and crew went backstage to change. He sat down at the end of the stage, his feet dangling in the orchestra pit. He stared out at the empty seats.
Where was Helga?
Even though she had finished building the sets weeks ago, Helga always hung around during rehearsal. When he asked her why, she told him she was Thaddeus's ride. He gotten used to her presence in the front row. They'd always share looks over Eugene's directing tips, like "Flutter like a butterfly, Lila!" or "Sing like you're surrounded by unicorns!" Sometime she'd even mouth his lines to him when he forgot.
Suddenly, someone plopped down beside him. He looked up, smiling. It was only Thaddeus. His smile faltered a little. Maybe he knew where Helga was...
Arnold decided to ease into asking. "Hey Thaddeus. Nervous about tomorrow?"
Thaddeus however, cut straight to the chase. "Looking for Helga?"
Arnold blushed. "Err, yeah, actually. She was just here earlier...I guess I didn't see her leave."
Thaddeus cleared his throat awkwardly. "She had to go somewhere."
Arnold looked at him curiously. "Something important?"
He nodded. Arnold waited for him to offer up more information, but Thaddeus just looked down into the orchestra pit, kicking his legs back and forth.
Arnold sighed, fed up. "Do I have to guess?"
Thaddeus shook his head, his eyes still glued to the floor. "I'm gonna tell you, it's just..."
Arnold rested his hand on Thaddeus's shoulder. "You don't have to tell me."
Thaddeus smiled gratefully, then stood up. "No, it's alright. I think she wanted me to tell you. I don't think she could do it herself." He handed Arnold a folded piece of paper.
"See you tomorrow night, Arnold." He walked backstage.
Arnold opened up the piece of paper. There was an address was written on it. He stood up.
Time to find Helga.
* * *
He found her immediately, despite the size of the location. She was near the entrance, sitting crossed legged next to an old oak tree.
The headstone in front of her read: Robert Pataki, Beloved Husband and Father.
"You gonna lurk back there all day, Arnold?"
He stiffened. He should've known that she'd know he was there. It was like she had an Arnold-sense or something. She didn't turn around, just patted the ground next to her. An invitation.
Arnold walked up and sat down beside her. "Tad told me you were here."
She smiled. "Good boy."
Arnold picked up a handful of orange leaves and scattered them on the ground. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's kind of hard to work in 'My Dad's dead' into casual conversation, you know." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. "Besides I'm telling you right now. This is me. Telling you."
"How did he--?"
"Heart attack. He literally worked himself to death, seven years ago today." She paused and opened her eyes. "The bastard."
Arnold had no clue what to say to that.
Helga smiled and closed her eyes again. "You know, when I was a kid, I hated him. Always buried in his beeper business. Jesus, how 90's.
"Most of the kids around town hated him too. He cut down this old tree, Mighty Pete, in order to build another beeper store. God, what a fucking blowhard he was."
Arnold fidgeted nervously, trying to think of something to say.
"Stop that squirming."
He stopped immediately. "Sorry." He took a deep breath. "Look, Helga--"
She cut him off. "I'll never forget the last thing he said to me. It was minutes before he died. I thought he was going to give me some epic speech about all my shortcomings and how I had to work to make him proud after his death.
"But he just patted me on the head and said: 'You're a good kid, Helga.' And then he was gone."
Helga stood up and dusted off her legs. She looked down at Arnold. "You know, sometimes I think I love him more now that he's gone." She chuckled. "How fucked is that?"
Arnold stood up and stared at her, before wrapping her arms around her. She stiffened for a minute before relaxing into the hug.
"That fucked, huh?" She said jokingly.
Arnold slowly let her go and smiled. "Not fucked at all."
Helga gasped over-dramatically. "Why, Arnold! I do believe you just said the f-word!"
Arnold smirked. "What, 'fudgy bar'?"
Helga laughed. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." She started to walk away. Arnold grabbed her wrist. She stopped and turned around. "What?"
"I...umm...are you gonna be okay?"
"Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She smirked. "And you! You better get your beauty sleep, mister. Tomorrow's the night you get your girl back!" She walked off, singing, "If it takes forever, I will wait for you..."
Arnold watched her go. Once she was out of sight, he turned back towards Robert Pataki's headstone.
"You would be proud," he said softly.
* * *
Eugene was in tears.
The cast and crew were crammed into the dressing room. Sheena was patting Arnold's face with powder with one hand; in the other she held a tissue box in front of Eugene.
Eugene grabbed another tissue and dabbed at his eyes. "Oh, I'm so proud of you all!"
"Eugene..." Thaddeus said slowly. "The show hasn't even started yet."
"Yeah," Helga said. She was sitting backwards in a chair, tipping it forward. "Give it a chance to fail, Eugene."
Instead of getting mad at what Helga said, Eugene started sobbing openly. He snatched the tissue box away from Sheena. "Oh, Helga! Where would we have been without your scathing cynicism?"
Helga groaned.
"Arnold?" He turned around and saw Lila leaning close to him.
"Yeah?"
"Good luck out there."
Arnold smiled. "Actually, Lila, I think you're supposed to say 'Break a leg'."
She giggled demurely. "I know. But given what happened to Eugene...I thought 'Good Luck' might be more appropriate."
"You're right." They shared a smile before Lila turned away. Arnold looked up. Helga was staring at him. He smiled at her. She didn't smile back. Arnold tilted his head, confused.
"You okay?" he mouthed.
For a split second, a desperately sad look crossed her face. Helga shook her head and frowned. Then she stood up abruptly and walked out.
Now Arnold was really confused. He was just about to follow her when Mr. Simmons walked in and told them it was time to take their places.
* * *
Eugene had every reason to be proud: the show went off without a hitch. The crying in the dressing room before the show was nothing compared to the tears now--Eugene was practically wailing. Wailing with joy, of course. The dressing room was packed again, filled with the cast and crew and family and friends.
Arnold smiled and chatted with everyone who praised him, but really, he just wanted to find Helga. He hadn't seen her since she stormed out of the dressing room before the show started. He had to know that she was okay. He told his parents that he was going out to get fresh air. He almost made it to the door before Lila stopped him.
"Oh, excuse me Lila--"
She cut him off with a hug. "Oh, Arnold, you were ever so brilliant!"
Arnold awkwardly hugged her back. "Uh, thanks. You were great too, Lila."
Lila pulled away and looked up at him shyly. It reminded him of the first time he talked to her.
"Are you going to Rhonda's house tonight? She's throwing a little after-party. I'm sure it will be ever so much fun..."
"Maybe. Actually, I'm looking for Helga right now. Have you seen her?"
Lila looked surprised. But then she smiled knowingly. "I'm ever so sorry Arnold, but I haven't seen her. When you find her you can bring her to Rhonda's party, okay?"
"Yeah, I will," he mumbled distractedly. "Look, I'm gonna go look for her outside. I'll see you later, Lila."
She smiled brightly. "Goodbye, Arnold." She leaned forward and gave him another hug. "You deserve to be happy."
Arnold patted her back, confused. "Okay?"
And as he walked out into the hallway, he head Lila call after him: "And good luck!"
* * *
Arnold found Helga sitting outside on the steps leading up to the auditorium. He paused. Now that he'd found her, he wasn't quite sure what to do.
"I know you're there. My Arnold sense is tingling."
Arnold smiled and sat down beside her on the steps. "Hey."
"Hey." She drew her knees up to her chest.
"You kinda...disappeared."
"Yeah." She didn't offer any more explanation. They sat in silence.
"So...the show went well."
"Did it?" She was examining her fingernails.
Arnold glared at her, irritated by her nonchalance. "Yeah, it did. You would've known if you would have watched it. I didn't forget one line--"
"So are you and Lila together now or what?"
Arnold stared at her, confused. "What?"
Helga sighed, exasperated. "Wasn't that the whole reason you did this stupid musical? To woo Lila back?"
"Oh. Well...no, we're not together. Actually," he laughed, "I kinda blew her off just now. I suppose it's for the best. You were right, I shouldn't be so hung up on her. Plenty of fish in the sea--"
Helga cut him off and kissed him. Arnold wondered if that was just how American girls did things before it registered that Helga was kissing him. Kissing! Him!
Before he could even think of a proper response (his hands hovered nervously above her hands), Helga pulled away. She looked at him, terrified. "Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck!"
"What?" Arnold said dumbly.
Helga stood up and started pacing up and down the steps. "Oh, shit. What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn't supposed to kiss you. You were never supposed to know! You were supposed to fall back into Lila's arms and bury your face in her boobs and I would give you a thumbs up and that would be it. But I've fucked it up. I'VE FUCKED IT UP!" Helga slapped her hands to her face in horror. "Now Lila will NEVER let you bury your face in her boobs!"
Arnold just stared at her, confused beyond all reason. "Why are you talking about Lila's boobs?"
Helga stopped pacing. She pointed at Arnold accusingly. "You! You FUCK! You made me do this! With your PERFECT green eyes and your PERFECT compassion and your PERFECT friendship! You made me spill about Harold! And my Dad! I've never told ANYONE those things! And you made me kiss you! YOU made me fall in love with you!"
Helga slapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide.
Arnold's eyes were just as wide. He slowly stood up. "You...you love me?"
Helga dropped her hands from her mouth. "I...I gotta go."
And then she ran off.
Arnold just stood there.
* * *
"So where did you disappear to last night, Shortman?"
Arnold dropped his fork nervously. It bounced off his pancakes and onto the floor. He bent down to pick it up. "Nowhere, Grandpa. Just outside. To get some air."
"Oh, I see." Grandpa cut into his own pancakes. He looked across the table at Dad; they shared a look. "So, is 'getting some air' some sort of hipster slang for 'kissing a girl'?"
Arnold turned bright red. "GRANDPA!" His eyes narrowed. "You followed me!"
Grandpa laughed. "Not really. I was on my way to get the car and well...I saw what I saw."
Dad ruffled Arnold's hair affectionately. "My boy's growing up."
Arnold slumped back into his chair. "Daaad," he whined, embarrassed.
"What? I'm proud!"
Arnold groaned. "I don't know what to do," he said.
Grandpa and Dad looked confused. "What do you mean?" Dad asked.
"Helga kissed me! And then she told me she loved me! And then she talked about Lila's boobs! And then she ran off! And I don't know what to do about any of if it!"
Grandpa scratched his head. "Is talking about a girl's boobs more hipster slang talk?"
Arnold sighed. "No, Grandpa." He ran his hands down his face. "I'm sorry for blowing up, it's just...she's just...."
Grandpa and Dad leaned forward expectantly.
Arnold looked at them both. "How...how did you know when you found The Girl?"
They looked surprised by his question.
"Well--" Dad started, but Grandpa cut him off.
"Miles, let me handle this."
Dad gave Grandpa a thoughtful look, then motioned for him to go ahead.
"Well Arnold, get comfortable, this is a long one. Get your snack cravings and bathroom breaks out now."
"Go ahead, Grandpa. I'm ready."
"Well, if you're sure. So you wanna know if you've found The Girl, eh? You know, when I met your Grandma, I was even younger than you are right now. She was a terror back in grade school, always calling me names and playing pranks on me. She'd always pick on me in particular but I never really gave her the time of day.
"And then we grew up. And she hung around. She still teased me, of course, but we became friends somehow. And then one day, I realized I was in love with her."
Arnold waited for Grandpa to continue, but he didn't. "That's it?" he said incredulously.
"Yep. You see, Shortman, finding The Girl isn't some huge epic quest with a lovely princess waiting with open arms at the end. It just happens. It's life. You just stumble through and then you find the girl that means the most to you. Sometimes it's expected, sometimes it's not, sometimes you're friends, sometimes you're not, sometimes you meet her in grade school or in the middle of the jungle or when you move to America. And sometimes you find the girl when you're 'getting some air' or talking about ladies breasts."
Arnold heard a sniff from beside him and turned to see his Dad crying. He wiped his eyes. "That was beautiful, Dad."
Grandpa patted him on the shoulder. "You always were such a loveable sap, son."
* * *
Arnold steeled himself. He could do this.
He rang the doorbell.
A middle aged woman with glasses answered. "Yes?"
"Hi. Is...is Helga home?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, she's not here right now."
Arnold frowned. "Do you know when she'll be back?"
"I'm not sure." She adjusted her glasses and peered down at the boy. "Wait--are you...are you Arnold?"
Arnold felt his face heat up. "Uh...yeah."
He heard another pair of footsteps rush towards the door. A younger woman appeared behind the woman with glasses. "Oooooh! So you're Arnold!" Both women looked at each other and smiled excitedly.
Arnold took a step back, embarrassed. "Well, if Helga's not here, I guess I'll be going--"
"Wait, Arnold!" The younger woman grabbed his wrist. "Baby sister said she was going to the park. I'm sure you'll find her there."
"Thanks...uh..."
"Olga. I'm Helga's big sister." She gently pushed Arnold down the steps. "Now, go!" Both women waved at him happily as he headed towards the park.
* * *
Helga was sitting in the same bench where he sulked after Lila broke up with him. He walked up and sat down next to her; she didn't say anything.
"What, is your Arnold-sense broken?" he teased.
She looked down at her feet. "What do you want?"
Arnold ran a hand through his hair. Might as well get to it. "Look, Helga, I wanted to talk about last night--"
"About that. Look Arnold, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to say all that mushy stuff. I was confused. I mean, it was the heat of the moment. I mean..." she sighed, frustrated. "Can we just forget about it...please?" She looked at him pleadingly.
Arnold stared at her. He nodded slowly. "We could..."
Helga let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks--"
Arnold grabbed her hands. "But it wouldn't change anything."
Helga looked at their linked hands, then back up at his face. "Huh?"
"It wouldn't change anything, because deep down, you'd still be the sap who said all those mushy things..."
"Hey."
He squeezed her hands. "...And I'd still be the guy who loves you for it." He paused thoughtfully. "Except I could care less about Lila's boobs."
Helga stared at him, shocked. "You...what?"
Arnold leaned in and kissed her. She froze for a second, but then pulled her hands out of his, grabbed his face, and kissed him back.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.
"You're the one who's the giant fucking sap," Helga whispered. She rubbed her thumbs gently across his cheekbones.
He smiled. "It kinda runs in the family. Besides, you know you love it."
She bit her lip. "Don't tell."
"I won't," he whispered as he kissed her again.