Of course, I should plug Detroit Metro as another (selfish) possibility... ;)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards when choosing someone to date. Rather, I'd say it's essential. If you're going to give your time, love, and energy to someone, then it should be with someone that can fulfill you, please you, love you, challenge you, care for you, be cared for by you, etc. Don't compromise on something so vital. You're worth having someone special, so never just settle. Keep those standards or else you might find yourself tangled up with someone who doesn't make your heart soar.
Consider this... when someone enters into a relationship (and even a close friendship), there is a vulnerability, there is a risk of being hurt. A person who wants to be close to you will be willing to walk into the fires and accept how the past has affected you. (That doesn't mean that you don't have to move forward from the past at the same time, but the other person should accept that it can be an ongoing, long process.) Don't close off possibilities for fear of hurting someone else since there may be someone who loves you enough to take you as you are with all of those negative things you mention.
Don't try to protect someone from yourself. A person who wants to be with you does not want to be protected, they want to be more intimately connected, even if that means there may be hurts to deal with.
Let the other decide for himself whether he wants to continue on with you, knowing these things. You can be up front, honest, and open about it. By being so, the other person will know better what may come, and be more ready to accept it and work through it when it arises.
I believe that if you loved someone and wanted to be in a relationship with that person, you'd want to know about their "fire," so that you could support them through it, and know that you needed to be aware and careful rather than trip over something.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards when choosing someone to date. Rather, I'd say it's essential. If you're going to give your time, love, and energy to someone, then it should be with someone that can fulfill you, please you, love you, challenge you, care for you, be cared for by you, etc. Don't compromise on something so vital. You're worth having someone special, so never just settle. Keep those standards or else you might find yourself tangled up with someone who doesn't make your heart soar.
Consider this... when someone enters into a relationship (and even a close friendship), there is a vulnerability, there is a risk of being hurt. A person who wants to be close to you will be willing to walk into the fires and accept how the past has affected you. (That doesn't mean that you don't have to move forward from the past at the same time, but the other person should accept that it can be an ongoing, long process.) Don't close off possibilities for fear of hurting someone else since there may be someone who loves you enough to take you as you are with all of those negative things you mention.
Don't try to protect someone from yourself. A person who wants to be with you does not want to be protected, they want to be more intimately connected, even if that means there may be hurts to deal with.
Let the other decide for himself whether he wants to continue on with you, knowing these things. You can be up front, honest, and open about it. By being so, the other person will know better what may come, and be more ready to accept it and work through it when it arises.
I believe that if you loved someone and wanted to be in a relationship with that person, you'd want to know about their "fire," so that you could support them through it, and know that you needed to be aware and careful rather than trip over something.
As for hugs... five a day sounds wonderful! ^^
<3 <3 <3
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