(no subject)
So I've been having some really weird dreams. With boys that have nothing to do with my sex life... i.e. Pat, or Brian who I work with. Or dreams about Molly who I haven't seen in years doing coke in my house and then going to jump off the roof of a church?? Or just really odd, odd things. And my room isn't messy like before.
I get to go see Dan in less than three weeks, but honestly I'm not that excited. Which most likely due to the fact that I have to plan the ENTIRE week long trip by myself. And it's fucking expensive.
For many reasons I think I may break up with Dan. I love him to death, but how can you love someone who is never around? And I've talked to my sister's "friend", Michael, and he says well if you really love someone you'll make it work. I have been making it work, but I'm tired of it. I think if we break up and casually date other people for the next two years, if we're really meant to be together when he gets out and comes back to the Springs I'll be single and we'll pick back up where we left off. And even better than just casually dating when we're together we'll be together and when we're apart we'll apart. Easy enough right?
But maybe I'm jsut apathectic because it's been so damn long since I've even seen him. Yea I have pictures but they are all at least seven months old. I don't know what he looks like now. I mean this is how I felt right before I got to see him at graduation. So who knows how things are going to turn out.
And now Jen may very well be dating a Marine, and she's all excited for us to be Marine girlfriends together and go out to see them together, but I'm not really sure thats whats going to happen. Then again, I don't want to let her down. I don't want her to see right away that it's a hell of a lot harder then she thinks. And I don't want her to think they're doomed from the beginning. Because I know the mentality that most of my friends have is if Brook and Dan can't stay together through four years of the Marines, who will?
We're really not as amazing of a couple as people tend to think we are.
I get to go see Dan in less than three weeks, but honestly I'm not that excited. Which most likely due to the fact that I have to plan the ENTIRE week long trip by myself. And it's fucking expensive.
For many reasons I think I may break up with Dan. I love him to death, but how can you love someone who is never around? And I've talked to my sister's "friend", Michael, and he says well if you really love someone you'll make it work. I have been making it work, but I'm tired of it. I think if we break up and casually date other people for the next two years, if we're really meant to be together when he gets out and comes back to the Springs I'll be single and we'll pick back up where we left off. And even better than just casually dating when we're together we'll be together and when we're apart we'll apart. Easy enough right?
But maybe I'm jsut apathectic because it's been so damn long since I've even seen him. Yea I have pictures but they are all at least seven months old. I don't know what he looks like now. I mean this is how I felt right before I got to see him at graduation. So who knows how things are going to turn out.
And now Jen may very well be dating a Marine, and she's all excited for us to be Marine girlfriends together and go out to see them together, but I'm not really sure thats whats going to happen. Then again, I don't want to let her down. I don't want her to see right away that it's a hell of a lot harder then she thinks. And I don't want her to think they're doomed from the beginning. Because I know the mentality that most of my friends have is if Brook and Dan can't stay together through four years of the Marines, who will?
We're really not as amazing of a couple as people tend to think we are.