(no subject)
I really hate it when people say "You don't know me." Especially if its a close friend I've had for a while. I used to know you, back before everything you had planned for yourself became army and drinking and frats. I used to know a you who was open, honest, happy. You'd call me up, send me a text, talk to me for hours about nothing and yet saying so much. And now? Now I'm lucky to get a drunk text every few months. Its disturbing. I miss my friend. I wish I knew what had happened. After I made the mistake of giving up on us so quickly you fell away. I almost wish we had never kissed. You say "She doesnt know me. She thinks she does, but she doesnt." So where does that leave me? I've always been there for you. Always, whether you knew it or not. Standing on the sidelines trying to cheer you on, cheer you up. All I ever wanted to do was make you smile. But now, its snide remarks. I dont know why you're hiding. I think you're afraid of what you've done. The choices you made werent the right ones, or at least werent the ones that made you the happiest. We all make mistakes. I think you taught me that. Now you just hide behind your excessive drinking, your jokes. Take those away and what do I see? Nothing. I think you're the hollow one. Not me. I'm trying to find my way. so what if I'm sad? So what if I hate my life sometimes. Isnt that a part of living? Dont sneer at me, dont mock what I say. I mean goddamnit I'm just trying to reach you again. There's been a lot of doors slammed in my face but I think its hurts the worst when its you.