therapeutic rambling. carry on.
You know, I realized that it was 7 years ago this month I was in a car wreck that nearly took my life. A wreck, not an accident. There wasn't much car left after it rolled down a hill and landed upside down.
I don't talk about it much because it's been 7 flipping years, but little things set it off. There was this show on TruTV tonight about freakish car wrecks and it just sent chills up and down my spine. For god's sake, I could even feel my adrenaline start rushing. God damn body and mind betraying me, thinking wild and outlandish things that probably will never happen, but it's the memory of that which just gives me the heeby jeebies.
It's pretty amazing how the mind works like that. One little sound can terrify someone so uncontrollably. Now anyone who knows me well knows I'm an incredibly mathematical person, but I have the worst time with biology. And as much as I am fascinated by psychology, it falls into that category of biology. I just suck at it, no matter how hard I might try at it. Same with politics and government. Give me calculus-based physics and movement algorithms any day, no problem. Biological matters? forget it.
Anyway, I know psychology and neuro-chemistry has come along so far since I last took psychology in 2002, I think? But it still amazes me that one sound or a scent can bring back so much memory of a trauma. Can I make happy things traumatic so I'm always reminded of them too?
Yeah, if only that'd work.
tl;dr: the mind is a wonderous thing I don't think I'll ever understand. I'll stick to programming things. I'm going to bed now :D
I don't talk about it much because it's been 7 flipping years, but little things set it off. There was this show on TruTV tonight about freakish car wrecks and it just sent chills up and down my spine. For god's sake, I could even feel my adrenaline start rushing. God damn body and mind betraying me, thinking wild and outlandish things that probably will never happen, but it's the memory of that which just gives me the heeby jeebies.
It's pretty amazing how the mind works like that. One little sound can terrify someone so uncontrollably. Now anyone who knows me well knows I'm an incredibly mathematical person, but I have the worst time with biology. And as much as I am fascinated by psychology, it falls into that category of biology. I just suck at it, no matter how hard I might try at it. Same with politics and government. Give me calculus-based physics and movement algorithms any day, no problem. Biological matters? forget it.
Anyway, I know psychology and neuro-chemistry has come along so far since I last took psychology in 2002, I think? But it still amazes me that one sound or a scent can bring back so much memory of a trauma. Can I make happy things traumatic so I'm always reminded of them too?
Yeah, if only that'd work.
tl;dr: the mind is a wonderous thing I don't think I'll ever understand. I'll stick to programming things. I'm going to bed now :D