Love Letters
I just finished writing a letter. I love letters. Words written out on
a page. There is something romantic about it. It's deep, its caring.
Someone takes the time to write out the words that they want to share
with you. It just seems more personal, more meaningful than an email or
a post. I like to write them, it makes me feel like im giving the time
and consideration the person im writing deserves. The only written
letter i have ever received in the mail was when i was a young girl,
still in elementary school, and it was from my grandfather. The entire
thing written in cursive with blue ink. I can't remember what it said,
but i remember the letter itself. I still have it in the chest at my
moms house that holds all of my other keepsakes.
I just love the sound of certain songs. I could play them over and over again and never get tired of hearing them. Its like they stir my soul. It's a feeling I can't describe but i enjoy it and it doesnt dull over time. Its as new the 20th time i hear the song as it was the first. And it is really anyones guess as to which song will fall gently on my ears. I like that.
meaningless sex is never as good as meaningful sex. If i know it means nothing then i dont really waste my time putting forth a lot of energy or effort. I'm a person who feeds off of passion and if there is none from him towards me i just cant give it my all. I hold back because i feel i shouldnt waste all of me, all the hidden secrets of myself on someone or something that will end in 10 minutes. Dont get me wrong, meaningless sex can be quite fun, but it will never be my best "performance". I have actually discussed this with my best friend. We have had both... meaningful and meaningless... It's not as great when you have to hold back. If you give everything in meaningless sex you are at risk of becoming attached to your fuck buddy and that is something you dont want, obviously since you set the rules at its purely physical.
It's funny how people surprise you. You meet someone get to know them fairly well. figure out, in your own mind, the kind of person they are and what would be in and out of character for them, and then one day it turns out they are nothing like what you thought, or what you decided they were. People you think are different, when put in certain situations, are just like everyone else. Even looking at yourself you classify who you are and then you look back and realize that you too, are nothing more than a facade. And you are the persons that you pity or dislike or make fun of. It's almost to easy to point out the flaws in everyone else just to distract the eyes from looking at your own. My Lipton and even my roomie have questioned why i am still friends with certain people and why i put up with things... well i guess its because the flaws in those friends are what make them unique and interesting to me. And i would expect for them in return to accept my flaws as i accept theirs. I constantly strive to understand. Understand life, why people do what they do, what makes things work, just to understand. And i guess that is why i am attracted to people who have bigger than average flaws. I want to understand them. I want to know why they are the way they are. and just as ive said before i cant let go until I understand and even then its almost impossible for me to walk away from anyone that i care about even in the slightest sense. I guess i just stick too close to the golden rule... "treat others as you would want to be treated"
song of the night:
"I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I’d quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I’ve been thinking
Maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I’ll say the same thing
I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won’t complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
If you give me half a chance
I‘ll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect’s the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
I am ready for love
If you’ll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
I am ready for love
Here with a offering of My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready…"
I just love the sound of certain songs. I could play them over and over again and never get tired of hearing them. Its like they stir my soul. It's a feeling I can't describe but i enjoy it and it doesnt dull over time. Its as new the 20th time i hear the song as it was the first. And it is really anyones guess as to which song will fall gently on my ears. I like that.
meaningless sex is never as good as meaningful sex. If i know it means nothing then i dont really waste my time putting forth a lot of energy or effort. I'm a person who feeds off of passion and if there is none from him towards me i just cant give it my all. I hold back because i feel i shouldnt waste all of me, all the hidden secrets of myself on someone or something that will end in 10 minutes. Dont get me wrong, meaningless sex can be quite fun, but it will never be my best "performance". I have actually discussed this with my best friend. We have had both... meaningful and meaningless... It's not as great when you have to hold back. If you give everything in meaningless sex you are at risk of becoming attached to your fuck buddy and that is something you dont want, obviously since you set the rules at its purely physical.
It's funny how people surprise you. You meet someone get to know them fairly well. figure out, in your own mind, the kind of person they are and what would be in and out of character for them, and then one day it turns out they are nothing like what you thought, or what you decided they were. People you think are different, when put in certain situations, are just like everyone else. Even looking at yourself you classify who you are and then you look back and realize that you too, are nothing more than a facade. And you are the persons that you pity or dislike or make fun of. It's almost to easy to point out the flaws in everyone else just to distract the eyes from looking at your own. My Lipton and even my roomie have questioned why i am still friends with certain people and why i put up with things... well i guess its because the flaws in those friends are what make them unique and interesting to me. And i would expect for them in return to accept my flaws as i accept theirs. I constantly strive to understand. Understand life, why people do what they do, what makes things work, just to understand. And i guess that is why i am attracted to people who have bigger than average flaws. I want to understand them. I want to know why they are the way they are. and just as ive said before i cant let go until I understand and even then its almost impossible for me to walk away from anyone that i care about even in the slightest sense. I guess i just stick too close to the golden rule... "treat others as you would want to be treated"
song of the night:
"I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I’d quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I’ve been thinking
Maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I’ll say the same thing
I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won’t complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
If you give me half a chance
I‘ll prove this to you
I will be patience, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect’s the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
I am ready for love
If you’ll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
I am ready for love
Here with a offering of My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready…"