I have been feeling unbalanced of late. Not sure exactly what it is- could be lack of sleep and the fun things that come along with that, but methinks not. My gut is telling me that it is because I am looking for companionship. I miss the whole cuddling bit, as well as the peaceful feeling that comes with feeling someone’s breath/heartbeat next to me as I fall asleep or watching them slumber peacefully in the morning light. I also miss sharing the little wonders in life, for I find that I tend to stop paying attention to many of them when I have no one to share them with. Like taking the time to stop and gaze in wonder as the moisture freezes out of the air, or the swirls and eddies in one’s breath as it steams away. This feeling reminds me so very much of the ideas expressed in the Taoist creation story found in the Art of Tea:
When the world was young and fresh, the Yellow Emperor did battle with the fierce Titans that sowed Chaos in the darkness. One by one, the Titans fell to the righteous sword of the Yellow Emperor, till finally there was but one Titan left. He was the mightiest, and they sallied forth for uncounted bouts before the Yellow Emperor was able to slip past the giant’s guard and score a fatal blow. The Titan was so great, however, that in his death throes his head cracked against the jade dome of the Heaven with a great crash.
The Heavenly jade dome cracked and then shattered to a million brilliant shards. The Yellow Emperor was beside himself with worry, for the Heavens rained down upon the earth, and the celestial bodies lost all order. The great river of stars thundered blindly about, and the moon wandered drunkenly to and fro. Quite a number of stars crashed into each other and became injured, glowing purple and blue with their bruises. At a loss, the Yellow Emperor sent far and wide for anyone who could rebuild the Jade Dome of the Heavens.
From the eastern sea arose the Dragon Queen Nuika, resplendent in her shimmering scales to answer the Yellow Emperor’s call. She brought her magical cauldron with her, the very cauldron where she had forged the rainbow and many other mysteries of the world. She shooed the Yellow Emperor away from the gleaming bits of the Jade Dome and set to painstaking work. Bit by bit, she replaced the Heavens up above, and set about herding the stars back to their spots and stopped the moon from its meanderings. She eventually finished her task, and all was right with the Heavens once again.
But legend has it that she left one little crack in the otherwise perfect Dome of Heaven. This crack represents the duality of love; that a piece of the soul has been split apart from itself and must constantly seek out the part that can once again make it whole. It is up to each and every one of us to seek out that piece of our soul and make the Heavens whole once again.