A strange turn...
I am trying to lose weight, it's a must. I hate myself and the way I look in the mirror. I am literally embarrassed at what I see. When my shirt is off, well, it's disgusting quite honestly.
I've ballooned to a fat pile of crap, well I'm a pile of crap, but now there is more of me to loath.
Since getting the Fitbit I've been doing steps and work outs diligently. I've gone to the gym more in the last month than I think I did in year-plus that I've been a member. The weight is coming off, and the diet has gotten better. I quit beer altogether, perhaps forever I think. I like the results so far. so far. So far to go, it seems daunting, I hope I don't give up on this. I've given up on me so many times before. It must be different this time.
So yesterday I wake and think, my legs are sore. I'll skip the gym and walk around more at work and get my 10k steps. Less than the 20k I’m averaging but what the heck right? So, I sleep an extra hour or so and then get up and get my fat-ass to work.
Work has been shitty lately, my dept. is failing and I can't seem to get my message through to people. On top of having to let more folks go due to Mexico builds and poor forecasting and performance from our sales and internal installs. So, does this happen smoothly.. c'mon why would it huh? No, my shop floor supervisor decides to tell two people information that is confidential. FUCK! I was pissed, still am it seems.
Then, remember the lack of gym? Well I'm pacing around my office and dept. and it seems the Fitbit has decided to not count steps. I start to feel the weight of the day, the lack of the gym, shitty deal with Mexico, the ineptitude of my staff. Suddenly, anxiety kicks in, for the first time in so many years, I'm about to lose my mind. So, I just get out, I get in my car and I'm heading home. Somewhere between the job and the home, I convince myself that I should just change into my running stuff and hit the river.
Well 4 miles, with music, sweat, and achy knees was a decent cure for that episode. I returned to the office after everyone was gone and finished a presentation that had an 8:00am Friday deadline.
Today was better, 10k steps on the elliptical and another 10k+ during the day. 1 super tasty (and very unhealthy) burger from a food truck for dinner and I can perhaps dissect what happened to me.
Could the endorphin from working out have become an addiction? I wonder.
Lots to think, but now time to rest. Nik's wedding is tomorrow...
Sleep with Angels
I've ballooned to a fat pile of crap, well I'm a pile of crap, but now there is more of me to loath.
Since getting the Fitbit I've been doing steps and work outs diligently. I've gone to the gym more in the last month than I think I did in year-plus that I've been a member. The weight is coming off, and the diet has gotten better. I quit beer altogether, perhaps forever I think. I like the results so far. so far. So far to go, it seems daunting, I hope I don't give up on this. I've given up on me so many times before. It must be different this time.
So yesterday I wake and think, my legs are sore. I'll skip the gym and walk around more at work and get my 10k steps. Less than the 20k I’m averaging but what the heck right? So, I sleep an extra hour or so and then get up and get my fat-ass to work.
Work has been shitty lately, my dept. is failing and I can't seem to get my message through to people. On top of having to let more folks go due to Mexico builds and poor forecasting and performance from our sales and internal installs. So, does this happen smoothly.. c'mon why would it huh? No, my shop floor supervisor decides to tell two people information that is confidential. FUCK! I was pissed, still am it seems.
Then, remember the lack of gym? Well I'm pacing around my office and dept. and it seems the Fitbit has decided to not count steps. I start to feel the weight of the day, the lack of the gym, shitty deal with Mexico, the ineptitude of my staff. Suddenly, anxiety kicks in, for the first time in so many years, I'm about to lose my mind. So, I just get out, I get in my car and I'm heading home. Somewhere between the job and the home, I convince myself that I should just change into my running stuff and hit the river.
Well 4 miles, with music, sweat, and achy knees was a decent cure for that episode. I returned to the office after everyone was gone and finished a presentation that had an 8:00am Friday deadline.
Today was better, 10k steps on the elliptical and another 10k+ during the day. 1 super tasty (and very unhealthy) burger from a food truck for dinner and I can perhaps dissect what happened to me.
Could the endorphin from working out have become an addiction? I wonder.
Lots to think, but now time to rest. Nik's wedding is tomorrow...
Sleep with Angels