Do svidaniya: Chapter Seven
OH EM GEE! It's finally a new chapter. :O
Name: Do svidaniya
Characters: Kunzite, Minako with other appearances.
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing (though mainly Russian), adult themes, some violence.
A/N: The Russian Revolution was a time of great turmoil and political intrigue. In these trying times can young love succeed or will fate pull them apart? Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six
“I don’t want to leave. I won’t.” The pout was over exaggerated and childish, but I suppose anything was fair at this point.
“Milena, this isn’t a debate. It’s not safe, you have to go. Besides, you’re under Tomlin’s employ and he is asking you to take his daughter, your charge, to Paris. That‘s not something you can easily defy.”
“Then I‘ll quit. Byko will go as Helena’s doctor, he can watch her until they get to Paris, then she’ll have her aunt. I can stay with you, we can go down to see your family and then we can leave together. Maybe even go to Paris? You’ll like it there, I promise you will.”
“You’re going now, Milena. That’s the end of it! I don’t care if I have to tie you to the damned train!” The outburst shocked both of us into silence, and for a very long time the only sound in the room was the fire crackling merrily in Kostya’s fireplace.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, and seemed very faraway.
“It’s alright,” I whispered back. I can see him from the corner of my eye. He was sitting in the old leather chair that had been father’s favorite, I knew it brought him comfort. But even so he seemed solemn, so much older than his twenty years. I knew he was just a few feet from me, but suddenly it seemed much too far, and before I even really knew what I was doing, I was standing before him--running my hand down his face.
He is so good and strong and I love him so much; more than I ever thought possible.
“I’m just afraid that if I say goodbye now I’ll never see you again. And that isn’t something I could bear.” Tears burned my eyes, my vision swimming.
Kostya’s strong arms wound around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap, and I buried my face in his neck. He smelled clean and fresh, like soap and crisp winter air. I have never known anyone like him; so safe, so comfortable and sometimes… sometimes I feared that I needed him more than he needed me.
“It won’t be forever. I swear it,” Kostya said fiercely. I wanted so desperately to believe him, but I knew that life was not always fair. And I was afraid.
“There is war, Alexis and Mischa are dead. How can you be so sure you’ll make it back to me safely?” He buried his hand in my hair and I looked up at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but shook his head instead. Then he leaned in and kissed me.
That, unfortunately, told me everything. He didn’t have an answer, because he wasn’t sure. I hated it, but I knew nothing I said or did would change his mind. So I returned the kiss, taking solace is the fact that we were together.
*****
The train station was packed full of people, but thanks to Commander Tomlin we were separated from most of the others, and I knew our compartment on the train would be plush and private; something I was immensely grateful for. My heart was already broken in two with just the idea of leaving Kostya; I had no idea how I would actually say goodbye.
Dr. Byko was approved by Tomlin, and was joining Helena and I on the trip to Paris. I could see him hovering close to the child as she said goodbye to her father. While Commander Tomlin tried to put on a brave face for Helena, I could see the doubt in his eyes. Times were shifting, things uncertain, and who knew what would happen with the changing tide.
“You shouldn’t look so sad,” Kostya whispered into my ear. I hadn’t even heard him come up. He placed a kiss against my temple, and I leaned into him--wishing desperately to steal his warmth forever. “It’s just a short time, be brave. At least for Helena’s sake.”
“I will.” I tried to keep my voice even, but it hitched slightly, and I prayed I wouldn’t start crying. I wanted to save that for the privacy of the train.
“Kostya!” Helena cried out, dashing forward despite her father’s and doctor’s warnings. “Kostya I am so very happy you came to say goodbye,” she said once she reached his side. Her breath was coming out in shallow puffs from the exertion, but her cheeks were glowing pink from joy, her smile wide.
“Of course, I wouldn’t dream of missing the chance to say goodbye to my favorite girl.” Kostya smiled and couched down, accepting a hug from Helena--her thin arms squeezing tightly around his neck.
“Well, I’m glad you’re saying goodbye to me, too!” Helena pulled back and giggled, casting me a quick glance. “You’ll be good while we’re away, won‘t you?” She nodded very seriously.
“I swear it.” Kostya laughed and crossed his heart.
“Good. I am going to buy you a very special present in Paris. I won’t tell you what though, because I want it to be a surprise.”
“Oh? Is that so? Well, I look forward to it then.” Kostya hugged her again before standing.
“You should kiss her,” Helena told him earnestly. By this time Dr. Byko and the Commander had joined our little group, and Tomlin groaned while rubbing at his temple.
“Helena…” he started, but Kostya spoke over him. “Should I?” He arched a brow, lips quirking in amusement. The stress, the pain that had been aging him was gone for the moment. He looked every inch the carefree young man he should be. Handsome and proud.
“Yes, like in the stories! The prince kisses the princess!” She smiled widely, rocking on the balls of her feet, arms folded behind her back. Kostya pondered about her words for a moment, stroking his chin in thought.
Helena looked up at him so expectantly, and he cast me a bemused look. Finally he nodded his head and looked down at Helena, “You’re right.”
Kostya whirled around on me and, in the middle of the crowded station with hundreds of people watching us, bent me backward, kissing me soundly. I let out a muffled shriek as the world tilted, one hand going up to keep my hat in place while the other gripped his arm for support.
The kiss was mostly show but still Kostya’s lips were warm against mine, so tender my heart ached with it.
After a moment he pulled back and sat me upright again, grinning at me and what I was sure was a dazed look on my face. Once the rush of blood died down in my ears I became aware of Helena’s happy giggles, and a small applause from the people gathered; the sound muffled by gloves and mittens.
I supposed it was nice to see a little happiness. Normally I would be there, cheering right along with them, and I would be if I hadn’t known the truth: I was leaving Kostya behind.
“Come along, Helena. Give them a bit of privacy,” the Commander said. He smiled at me, grim and tightlipped, gripping my forearm a moment, and I knew it meant thank you. Dr. Byko shook Kostya’s hand, patting his shoulder gently.
“Take care, my friend.”
“You do the same, Zoran.” Dr. Byko nodded then followed after the Commander and Helena, leaving us alone.
Slowly, Kostya turned back toward me, his eyes soft as he reached out and placed his hands on my arms, rubbing up and down the length. Even through my coat and layers underneath I felt a thrill.
“It will just be a few weeks, a month at the most,” he said softly, voice a low rumble deep in his chest. I held his gaze for a moment--his eyes are the clearest, lightest shade of green. I can remember in my father’s shop there was a necklace in the case by the register, it was a large, rough cut green gem suspended from a thick gold rope chain, the color was so soft, so pale, as to appear almost grey; that was what his eyes always reminded of me. As he spoke they were steady, unwavering, and I believed him. In that moment I believed him.
Finally I nodded and tore my eyes away from his, staring at his mouth instead. It’s wide, revealing straight teeth when he smiled, but there was no smile in that moment. His lips were full, but not overly so, the bottom one a little more so than the top, and the cupids bow was a deep cleft. His lips were soft, softer than one might expect, and they were always sure and firm and intoxicating.
I leaned forward then and pressed mine to his, his arms--always so strong and secure--wrap around my waist, yanking me closer.
After a moment we were interrupted by a polite cough behind us, backing away from Kostya I turned around to find my uncle standing there. It’s so strange to seem him out of uniform, I don’t think I can remember a time when I’ve seen in public without it. But even dressed in plain clothes with a fur hat covering his pale hair, he looks every inch the proud guardsman.
I knew uncle disapproved of Kostya, our relationship--overprotective zhopa that he was--but deep down I they would get along well if given the chance.
“What are you doing here, uncle?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t see you off?” He smiled warmly at me and leaned in for a tight hug. “You have everything you need?”
“Yes, uncle.” I nodded and returned the hug. When he pulled back he sent a wary look toward Kostya, inclining his head curtly.
“Kostya, good to see you.”
“Sir.” I could tell Kostya was nervous by the way his eyes were pinched at the corners.
“He was saying goodbye, uncle.”
“Yes, so I saw.” He frowned deeply, but didn’t say anything further and I took that to be a good sign. All in all.
“Now promise you’ll stay safe, my girl?”
“If you do the same.”
“We’ll see,“ he said with a teasing wink, and hugged me a bit tighter. “Now say goodbye to your boy there; I’ll go speak with Tomlin.” Uncle turned to leave, but not before casting another look toward Kostya… lord only knew what passed between in them in that moment. Then he was gone, and Kostya and I were alone again.
Not waiting for another interruption, I stepped close to him and hugged him as tightly as I could -- until my arms felt as if they might cramp.
“I will miss you, please say you’ll be safe?”
“Of course. It will be a month at the most.” He voice was little more than a whisper, but I could clearly hear the words all the same. His lips grazed against my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my lips.
We pulled apart when the whistle of the train pierced the quiet. We moved toward the others at the end of the platform, watching silently as the train pulled into the station. The entire time we stood there, I held Kostya’s hand tightly in mine.
There was a commotion as the train clattered and rolled to a stop, the breaks squealing so loudly as to make you wince. The attendants started to quickly unload luggage and things as people filed off the train… but not just any people. Mostly they were all young men in uniform, red bands around their arms. All grime faced and serious.
“Bolsheviks,” uncle muttered. I glanced up at Kostya, his eyes were narrowed and burning with such disdain it shocked me.
“Petrograd is forever changed,” he whispered, turning away.
The train unloaded smoothly, the attendants all efficient and swift. Then they moved onto the luggage of the people waiting as they started directing the people onto it.
We were the first to go.
Helena quickly hugged Kostya again, then her further, holding him very tightly. I shook the Commander’s hand, kissed my uncle’s cheek before solemnly facing Kostya.
“I love you, it will be alright. I promise.” He pressed another kiss against my forehead.
I can barely get the words out as tears started choking me, but I forced them out nonetheless. He must know, I told myself No matter what happened he had to know. “I love you, too.”
He smiled, so bright and happy I just want to stay with him forever, but Dr. Byko was starting to pull me away toward the train. We filed in with the other people, and raced down the corridor to our compartment. It was on the platform side. Helena and I took our seats by the window, and it was both comforting and sad to see that the commander, my uncle, and Kostya were still waiting on the platform.
I could hear Helena chatting away to Dr. Byko, but I do not know what all was said. It wasn’t long before the Commander and uncle turned away, talking with their heads bent together. But Kostya remained, his eyes locked with mine.
Then the train was starting up again, rolling out of the station. Kostya grew smaller and smaller as we moved along. And I was filled with a overwhelming fear that that would be the last I ever saw of him.
I didn’t tear my eyes away from the window until the train was out of the station, nearly out of the Petrograd completely. But I had long since stopped seeing the world around me, my tears stinging my eyes, blinding.
___________________________
Just a little note, given all the crap going on IRL recently, not sure when the next part will be done and posted.... but I doubt it'll be another year..... :P
Name: Do svidaniya
Characters: Kunzite, Minako with other appearances.
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing (though mainly Russian), adult themes, some violence.
A/N: The Russian Revolution was a time of great turmoil and political intrigue. In these trying times can young love succeed or will fate pull them apart? Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six
“I don’t want to leave. I won’t.” The pout was over exaggerated and childish, but I suppose anything was fair at this point.
“Milena, this isn’t a debate. It’s not safe, you have to go. Besides, you’re under Tomlin’s employ and he is asking you to take his daughter, your charge, to Paris. That‘s not something you can easily defy.”
“Then I‘ll quit. Byko will go as Helena’s doctor, he can watch her until they get to Paris, then she’ll have her aunt. I can stay with you, we can go down to see your family and then we can leave together. Maybe even go to Paris? You’ll like it there, I promise you will.”
“You’re going now, Milena. That’s the end of it! I don’t care if I have to tie you to the damned train!” The outburst shocked both of us into silence, and for a very long time the only sound in the room was the fire crackling merrily in Kostya’s fireplace.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, and seemed very faraway.
“It’s alright,” I whispered back. I can see him from the corner of my eye. He was sitting in the old leather chair that had been father’s favorite, I knew it brought him comfort. But even so he seemed solemn, so much older than his twenty years. I knew he was just a few feet from me, but suddenly it seemed much too far, and before I even really knew what I was doing, I was standing before him--running my hand down his face.
He is so good and strong and I love him so much; more than I ever thought possible.
“I’m just afraid that if I say goodbye now I’ll never see you again. And that isn’t something I could bear.” Tears burned my eyes, my vision swimming.
Kostya’s strong arms wound around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap, and I buried my face in his neck. He smelled clean and fresh, like soap and crisp winter air. I have never known anyone like him; so safe, so comfortable and sometimes… sometimes I feared that I needed him more than he needed me.
“It won’t be forever. I swear it,” Kostya said fiercely. I wanted so desperately to believe him, but I knew that life was not always fair. And I was afraid.
“There is war, Alexis and Mischa are dead. How can you be so sure you’ll make it back to me safely?” He buried his hand in my hair and I looked up at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but shook his head instead. Then he leaned in and kissed me.
That, unfortunately, told me everything. He didn’t have an answer, because he wasn’t sure. I hated it, but I knew nothing I said or did would change his mind. So I returned the kiss, taking solace is the fact that we were together.
*****
The train station was packed full of people, but thanks to Commander Tomlin we were separated from most of the others, and I knew our compartment on the train would be plush and private; something I was immensely grateful for. My heart was already broken in two with just the idea of leaving Kostya; I had no idea how I would actually say goodbye.
Dr. Byko was approved by Tomlin, and was joining Helena and I on the trip to Paris. I could see him hovering close to the child as she said goodbye to her father. While Commander Tomlin tried to put on a brave face for Helena, I could see the doubt in his eyes. Times were shifting, things uncertain, and who knew what would happen with the changing tide.
“You shouldn’t look so sad,” Kostya whispered into my ear. I hadn’t even heard him come up. He placed a kiss against my temple, and I leaned into him--wishing desperately to steal his warmth forever. “It’s just a short time, be brave. At least for Helena’s sake.”
“I will.” I tried to keep my voice even, but it hitched slightly, and I prayed I wouldn’t start crying. I wanted to save that for the privacy of the train.
“Kostya!” Helena cried out, dashing forward despite her father’s and doctor’s warnings. “Kostya I am so very happy you came to say goodbye,” she said once she reached his side. Her breath was coming out in shallow puffs from the exertion, but her cheeks were glowing pink from joy, her smile wide.
“Of course, I wouldn’t dream of missing the chance to say goodbye to my favorite girl.” Kostya smiled and couched down, accepting a hug from Helena--her thin arms squeezing tightly around his neck.
“Well, I’m glad you’re saying goodbye to me, too!” Helena pulled back and giggled, casting me a quick glance. “You’ll be good while we’re away, won‘t you?” She nodded very seriously.
“I swear it.” Kostya laughed and crossed his heart.
“Good. I am going to buy you a very special present in Paris. I won’t tell you what though, because I want it to be a surprise.”
“Oh? Is that so? Well, I look forward to it then.” Kostya hugged her again before standing.
“You should kiss her,” Helena told him earnestly. By this time Dr. Byko and the Commander had joined our little group, and Tomlin groaned while rubbing at his temple.
“Helena…” he started, but Kostya spoke over him. “Should I?” He arched a brow, lips quirking in amusement. The stress, the pain that had been aging him was gone for the moment. He looked every inch the carefree young man he should be. Handsome and proud.
“Yes, like in the stories! The prince kisses the princess!” She smiled widely, rocking on the balls of her feet, arms folded behind her back. Kostya pondered about her words for a moment, stroking his chin in thought.
Helena looked up at him so expectantly, and he cast me a bemused look. Finally he nodded his head and looked down at Helena, “You’re right.”
Kostya whirled around on me and, in the middle of the crowded station with hundreds of people watching us, bent me backward, kissing me soundly. I let out a muffled shriek as the world tilted, one hand going up to keep my hat in place while the other gripped his arm for support.
The kiss was mostly show but still Kostya’s lips were warm against mine, so tender my heart ached with it.
After a moment he pulled back and sat me upright again, grinning at me and what I was sure was a dazed look on my face. Once the rush of blood died down in my ears I became aware of Helena’s happy giggles, and a small applause from the people gathered; the sound muffled by gloves and mittens.
I supposed it was nice to see a little happiness. Normally I would be there, cheering right along with them, and I would be if I hadn’t known the truth: I was leaving Kostya behind.
“Come along, Helena. Give them a bit of privacy,” the Commander said. He smiled at me, grim and tightlipped, gripping my forearm a moment, and I knew it meant thank you. Dr. Byko shook Kostya’s hand, patting his shoulder gently.
“Take care, my friend.”
“You do the same, Zoran.” Dr. Byko nodded then followed after the Commander and Helena, leaving us alone.
Slowly, Kostya turned back toward me, his eyes soft as he reached out and placed his hands on my arms, rubbing up and down the length. Even through my coat and layers underneath I felt a thrill.
“It will just be a few weeks, a month at the most,” he said softly, voice a low rumble deep in his chest. I held his gaze for a moment--his eyes are the clearest, lightest shade of green. I can remember in my father’s shop there was a necklace in the case by the register, it was a large, rough cut green gem suspended from a thick gold rope chain, the color was so soft, so pale, as to appear almost grey; that was what his eyes always reminded of me. As he spoke they were steady, unwavering, and I believed him. In that moment I believed him.
Finally I nodded and tore my eyes away from his, staring at his mouth instead. It’s wide, revealing straight teeth when he smiled, but there was no smile in that moment. His lips were full, but not overly so, the bottom one a little more so than the top, and the cupids bow was a deep cleft. His lips were soft, softer than one might expect, and they were always sure and firm and intoxicating.
I leaned forward then and pressed mine to his, his arms--always so strong and secure--wrap around my waist, yanking me closer.
After a moment we were interrupted by a polite cough behind us, backing away from Kostya I turned around to find my uncle standing there. It’s so strange to seem him out of uniform, I don’t think I can remember a time when I’ve seen in public without it. But even dressed in plain clothes with a fur hat covering his pale hair, he looks every inch the proud guardsman.
I knew uncle disapproved of Kostya, our relationship--overprotective zhopa that he was--but deep down I they would get along well if given the chance.
“What are you doing here, uncle?”
“Did you think I wouldn’t see you off?” He smiled warmly at me and leaned in for a tight hug. “You have everything you need?”
“Yes, uncle.” I nodded and returned the hug. When he pulled back he sent a wary look toward Kostya, inclining his head curtly.
“Kostya, good to see you.”
“Sir.” I could tell Kostya was nervous by the way his eyes were pinched at the corners.
“He was saying goodbye, uncle.”
“Yes, so I saw.” He frowned deeply, but didn’t say anything further and I took that to be a good sign. All in all.
“Now promise you’ll stay safe, my girl?”
“If you do the same.”
“We’ll see,“ he said with a teasing wink, and hugged me a bit tighter. “Now say goodbye to your boy there; I’ll go speak with Tomlin.” Uncle turned to leave, but not before casting another look toward Kostya… lord only knew what passed between in them in that moment. Then he was gone, and Kostya and I were alone again.
Not waiting for another interruption, I stepped close to him and hugged him as tightly as I could -- until my arms felt as if they might cramp.
“I will miss you, please say you’ll be safe?”
“Of course. It will be a month at the most.” He voice was little more than a whisper, but I could clearly hear the words all the same. His lips grazed against my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my lips.
We pulled apart when the whistle of the train pierced the quiet. We moved toward the others at the end of the platform, watching silently as the train pulled into the station. The entire time we stood there, I held Kostya’s hand tightly in mine.
There was a commotion as the train clattered and rolled to a stop, the breaks squealing so loudly as to make you wince. The attendants started to quickly unload luggage and things as people filed off the train… but not just any people. Mostly they were all young men in uniform, red bands around their arms. All grime faced and serious.
“Bolsheviks,” uncle muttered. I glanced up at Kostya, his eyes were narrowed and burning with such disdain it shocked me.
“Petrograd is forever changed,” he whispered, turning away.
The train unloaded smoothly, the attendants all efficient and swift. Then they moved onto the luggage of the people waiting as they started directing the people onto it.
We were the first to go.
Helena quickly hugged Kostya again, then her further, holding him very tightly. I shook the Commander’s hand, kissed my uncle’s cheek before solemnly facing Kostya.
“I love you, it will be alright. I promise.” He pressed another kiss against my forehead.
I can barely get the words out as tears started choking me, but I forced them out nonetheless. He must know, I told myself No matter what happened he had to know. “I love you, too.”
He smiled, so bright and happy I just want to stay with him forever, but Dr. Byko was starting to pull me away toward the train. We filed in with the other people, and raced down the corridor to our compartment. It was on the platform side. Helena and I took our seats by the window, and it was both comforting and sad to see that the commander, my uncle, and Kostya were still waiting on the platform.
I could hear Helena chatting away to Dr. Byko, but I do not know what all was said. It wasn’t long before the Commander and uncle turned away, talking with their heads bent together. But Kostya remained, his eyes locked with mine.
Then the train was starting up again, rolling out of the station. Kostya grew smaller and smaller as we moved along. And I was filled with a overwhelming fear that that would be the last I ever saw of him.
I didn’t tear my eyes away from the window until the train was out of the station, nearly out of the Petrograd completely. But I had long since stopped seeing the world around me, my tears stinging my eyes, blinding.
___________________________
Just a little note, given all the crap going on IRL recently, not sure when the next part will be done and posted.... but I doubt it'll be another year..... :P