...why do good things always have to be ruined?...
i find myself disliking christmas more and more each year. it doesnt feel like christmas, everyone gets caught up in stupid things...my mom goes on psycho bitch about everything mode, and i get bummed out.
my mom's been yelling about my room for the past week now. everyone is coming over friday and my room sucks....no one is supposed to be in my room anyways..i understand she wants me to clean it, but she bitches about it sooooo much. everytime i see her thats all she says. thats like all that matters. its annoying as crap. somehow she always manages to complain about something. if i was perfect she'd prally bitch cause i was too perfect. its times like these when i hate being here and wish i wouldve signed up at FSU even though they dont want me going...but no, im going to fau to make them happy so i can stay home and let them tell me what to do for a couple more years. i hate this. i hate being here now.
i was all worried about christmas cause i havent bought any christmas presents, and today i went out and finally got the big thing outta the way and that was ryan...i got his christmas presents and his birthday presents. i was all excited cause i thought i did a pretty decent job considering that i couldnt spend all that much. i wish i could buy everyone anything that made me think of them...i wish my friends could get hundreds of dollars worth of presents...but whatever, when i finally find something i like i feel accomplished and i was proud of myself. my parents bitched cause of how much i spent. i feel like crap now, and christmas is ruined again...i wanna return everything and just say screw christmas. i understand that i dont have a job or income, but i dont understand whats wrong with wanting to get something nice for someone...so they're pissed off that i spent money on him rather than myself...isnt that sweet. im so friggin bummed right now. i dunno what to do.
maybe next year ill transfer out of town...i wish things werent so dumb...im sad. thank you mommy and daddy.
my mom's been yelling about my room for the past week now. everyone is coming over friday and my room sucks....no one is supposed to be in my room anyways..i understand she wants me to clean it, but she bitches about it sooooo much. everytime i see her thats all she says. thats like all that matters. its annoying as crap. somehow she always manages to complain about something. if i was perfect she'd prally bitch cause i was too perfect. its times like these when i hate being here and wish i wouldve signed up at FSU even though they dont want me going...but no, im going to fau to make them happy so i can stay home and let them tell me what to do for a couple more years. i hate this. i hate being here now.
i was all worried about christmas cause i havent bought any christmas presents, and today i went out and finally got the big thing outta the way and that was ryan...i got his christmas presents and his birthday presents. i was all excited cause i thought i did a pretty decent job considering that i couldnt spend all that much. i wish i could buy everyone anything that made me think of them...i wish my friends could get hundreds of dollars worth of presents...but whatever, when i finally find something i like i feel accomplished and i was proud of myself. my parents bitched cause of how much i spent. i feel like crap now, and christmas is ruined again...i wanna return everything and just say screw christmas. i understand that i dont have a job or income, but i dont understand whats wrong with wanting to get something nice for someone...so they're pissed off that i spent money on him rather than myself...isnt that sweet. im so friggin bummed right now. i dunno what to do.
maybe next year ill transfer out of town...i wish things werent so dumb...im sad. thank you mommy and daddy.