the saga continues
well, i responded to her email with a rather lengthy email of my own. it was mostly gossip about what all had been going on over the past 6 months. i told her not to beat herself up over things that she couldnt control and not to worry about things because worrying is stupid
she still hasnt come clean with all the things that transpired between her and that mike guy, nor will she, nor do i really care that much. Anywho, she replied back to my email with this email very shortly after mine was sent:
Well there is certainly a lot to reply to. First, you had Willie Nelson, I had the Blink 182 song, "I Miss You". Here's a link for the lyrics in case you haven't heard the song (unlikely for a Blink fan). http://www.lyrics007.com/Blink-182%20Lyrics/I%20Miss%20You%20Lyrics.html Again, some lyrics do not fit, such as morgues and spiders etc. I guess it is the overall mood. I listen to your song. It sucks to here things too late, huh. I guess that is just life. It's always too late and you can never go back.
That leads me to the next point of reply. I don't really know what I hoped to accomplish with my letter. Sometimes I wish I were with you again so bad. Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision. Heather got engaged and I had the worst breakdown. Not because she was getting married and I wasn't. I am sooo over that clock day phase. It just made me think about you. He proposed to her on a ferris wheel. I have no expectations, Jeremy. I can't plan my life or who I am gonna spend it with. Hell, the way it's going, it'll be me, myself, and I! For once in my life, I have external things to plan, like million dollar budgets and field agendas. Even so, when that down time comes, which isn't often, it's a killer, and all you think about is the fact that you have no life whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I have met a lot of great people, but there is a void that they just can't fill.
I swear, I am going to dehydrate today. Well, we've had plenty of those moments together.
I'm sorry to hear about the gal. If she can't accept that, she can shove it - with someone else of course. That is something to stand your ground on - even if it does make you eternally single. I think the only reason you lucked out on that with me was because I'm equally prudish. So the Mike story, I want to elaborate on. If anything, to please your manly parts. After I got back from SD, I tried to date him for awhile (note, I got back around July 7). Afterall, he stayed in my apartment and took care of Leo (which is what he is doing presently) and that was such a huge help - seeing there was no one else to do that for me. So the love thing came up, and I thought it through and told him I wasn't in love with him. By all technical standards, I should, I just don't think I am capable. Two people I really cared about fell through - I don't know if I am really ready to do that all over again. But he has remained a big part of my life, and I care about him a lot. I didn't mean to insult your intelligence. If anything, I was insulting my own, because I just could not see your reasoning. Anyway, you gave this issue a paragraph, that was mine.
It's crazy to hear about Andrew and Christina! I'm very happy for them, though. They will find their way. Where is she teaching English? I thought she was like 20? I'm glad for Willie too. I almost got sent to open an office in Utah and thought about him. It must be fun living with Jason. It sounds like you guys are living it up. Leo is lonely. He hasn't really forgiven me for going to South Dakota. Mike doesn't really know how to play with him right, so he's gotten lazy. I am getting him a kitten for Christmas. That way he has someone to play with. My house is going to stink!
Regarding the email I sent where I thanked you for Lexington, I really didn't mean that in a bad way at all. I think I was really meant to find my way there, one way or another. It opened so many doors, and I was thanking you for that. I'm still lonely as hell there, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Yeah Heather is there, but she is so far up her dude's butt, that she only comes up for light on occasion. CG- Funny that you call it that. My name was the Melon Incident. I ended up throwing it really hard off my balcony into the pond. I was just really missing you and really wanted to talk to you and do something nice for you. You can't even imagine how broke I was at the time. Two dollars could have went into my gas tank. I didn't even care about that. I had the feeling you were with someone, so I didn't press the issue. That email I sent was out of hurt. I wasn't looking for the final word.
Sometimes I think back about when we first got together. I think I really forced myself on you. I think I forced everything on you the entire time. I think I forced you into thinking you loved me. That's why it just didn't come natural. I think when you really do love someone, you will remember the little things. They won't feel like they love you more. It was just that from the time I met you, I thought I had to be with you. Things (thorns) fell into place, and I snagged you. Lesson learned - let them love you on their own.
You say not to dwell on things because they just make you feel bad. Well that is damn hard to do. Perhaps they should give me more work. I can't remember the good times. I've tried. When I do, it just f's up my world. It makes me greedy. I can't think of good times knowing there won't be anymore. I just pray that God fills up this Jeremy-hole with whatever he sees fit to fill it, because sometimes it just kills me.
I'm pathetic.
Well, I should try to end this on an upbeat note since I am up way past my bedtime and don't want to dream about this anymore. I'm really excited about playing such a huge part in this election. Everyone at the DCCC, even the Congressmen all say that this is the biggest election of their life. Bush is so crazy. He suprises me on a daily basis. The more I learn about government and politics, the more I want to be involved. Heck, even some of the democrats let me down. I got accepted into Yale University's Women's Campaign School. I applied early, and I attend next summer. It is a short but intensive program and only two women from KY have participated. I have also set my mind on which grad school I want to go to. George Washington University in DC has a Political Management Masters Degree. I want to specialize in Policy Advocacy and help lobby reform on higher education. It's an issue that never gets addressed - especially in this state. By the way, I am the elected precinct captain for our old district in Pinebrook. I was voted as a delegate to the state convention and nominated for the national convention. I declined since I new I would be working for the DCCC. I joined the ACLU a couple of days ago too. This Patriot Act would have Madison and Jefferson rolling in their graves.
Well, I am gonna read some news and hit the sack. I have a training to prepare for tomorrow and more people to hire. You could really put your spanish to use here. I am working on a latino base project right now. I got a new laptop and named her Guadalupe. Are you still driving Esparanza? :P
Good night, and thanks for that letter.
Amanda
<- the end of the email
well, i didnt respond back to this one just because i'm bad about responding to emails. Had an email in my box today asking if she had said something that had upset me. I replied and said no i'm just bad about answering emails, and then she sent me another one complaining about her day or whatever
what is the deal?
i think she thinks i want to talk to her now
pff
she still hasnt come clean with all the things that transpired between her and that mike guy, nor will she, nor do i really care that much. Anywho, she replied back to my email with this email very shortly after mine was sent:
Well there is certainly a lot to reply to. First, you had Willie Nelson, I had the Blink 182 song, "I Miss You". Here's a link for the lyrics in case you haven't heard the song (unlikely for a Blink fan). http://www.lyrics007.com/Blink-182%20Lyrics/I%20Miss%20You%20Lyrics.html Again, some lyrics do not fit, such as morgues and spiders etc. I guess it is the overall mood. I listen to your song. It sucks to here things too late, huh. I guess that is just life. It's always too late and you can never go back.
That leads me to the next point of reply. I don't really know what I hoped to accomplish with my letter. Sometimes I wish I were with you again so bad. Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision. Heather got engaged and I had the worst breakdown. Not because she was getting married and I wasn't. I am sooo over that clock day phase. It just made me think about you. He proposed to her on a ferris wheel. I have no expectations, Jeremy. I can't plan my life or who I am gonna spend it with. Hell, the way it's going, it'll be me, myself, and I! For once in my life, I have external things to plan, like million dollar budgets and field agendas. Even so, when that down time comes, which isn't often, it's a killer, and all you think about is the fact that you have no life whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I have met a lot of great people, but there is a void that they just can't fill.
I swear, I am going to dehydrate today. Well, we've had plenty of those moments together.
I'm sorry to hear about the gal. If she can't accept that, she can shove it - with someone else of course. That is something to stand your ground on - even if it does make you eternally single. I think the only reason you lucked out on that with me was because I'm equally prudish. So the Mike story, I want to elaborate on. If anything, to please your manly parts. After I got back from SD, I tried to date him for awhile (note, I got back around July 7). Afterall, he stayed in my apartment and took care of Leo (which is what he is doing presently) and that was such a huge help - seeing there was no one else to do that for me. So the love thing came up, and I thought it through and told him I wasn't in love with him. By all technical standards, I should, I just don't think I am capable. Two people I really cared about fell through - I don't know if I am really ready to do that all over again. But he has remained a big part of my life, and I care about him a lot. I didn't mean to insult your intelligence. If anything, I was insulting my own, because I just could not see your reasoning. Anyway, you gave this issue a paragraph, that was mine.
It's crazy to hear about Andrew and Christina! I'm very happy for them, though. They will find their way. Where is she teaching English? I thought she was like 20? I'm glad for Willie too. I almost got sent to open an office in Utah and thought about him. It must be fun living with Jason. It sounds like you guys are living it up. Leo is lonely. He hasn't really forgiven me for going to South Dakota. Mike doesn't really know how to play with him right, so he's gotten lazy. I am getting him a kitten for Christmas. That way he has someone to play with. My house is going to stink!
Regarding the email I sent where I thanked you for Lexington, I really didn't mean that in a bad way at all. I think I was really meant to find my way there, one way or another. It opened so many doors, and I was thanking you for that. I'm still lonely as hell there, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Yeah Heather is there, but she is so far up her dude's butt, that she only comes up for light on occasion. CG- Funny that you call it that. My name was the Melon Incident. I ended up throwing it really hard off my balcony into the pond. I was just really missing you and really wanted to talk to you and do something nice for you. You can't even imagine how broke I was at the time. Two dollars could have went into my gas tank. I didn't even care about that. I had the feeling you were with someone, so I didn't press the issue. That email I sent was out of hurt. I wasn't looking for the final word.
Sometimes I think back about when we first got together. I think I really forced myself on you. I think I forced everything on you the entire time. I think I forced you into thinking you loved me. That's why it just didn't come natural. I think when you really do love someone, you will remember the little things. They won't feel like they love you more. It was just that from the time I met you, I thought I had to be with you. Things (thorns) fell into place, and I snagged you. Lesson learned - let them love you on their own.
You say not to dwell on things because they just make you feel bad. Well that is damn hard to do. Perhaps they should give me more work. I can't remember the good times. I've tried. When I do, it just f's up my world. It makes me greedy. I can't think of good times knowing there won't be anymore. I just pray that God fills up this Jeremy-hole with whatever he sees fit to fill it, because sometimes it just kills me.
I'm pathetic.
Well, I should try to end this on an upbeat note since I am up way past my bedtime and don't want to dream about this anymore. I'm really excited about playing such a huge part in this election. Everyone at the DCCC, even the Congressmen all say that this is the biggest election of their life. Bush is so crazy. He suprises me on a daily basis. The more I learn about government and politics, the more I want to be involved. Heck, even some of the democrats let me down. I got accepted into Yale University's Women's Campaign School. I applied early, and I attend next summer. It is a short but intensive program and only two women from KY have participated. I have also set my mind on which grad school I want to go to. George Washington University in DC has a Political Management Masters Degree. I want to specialize in Policy Advocacy and help lobby reform on higher education. It's an issue that never gets addressed - especially in this state. By the way, I am the elected precinct captain for our old district in Pinebrook. I was voted as a delegate to the state convention and nominated for the national convention. I declined since I new I would be working for the DCCC. I joined the ACLU a couple of days ago too. This Patriot Act would have Madison and Jefferson rolling in their graves.
Well, I am gonna read some news and hit the sack. I have a training to prepare for tomorrow and more people to hire. You could really put your spanish to use here. I am working on a latino base project right now. I got a new laptop and named her Guadalupe. Are you still driving Esparanza? :P
Good night, and thanks for that letter.
Amanda
<- the end of the email
well, i didnt respond back to this one just because i'm bad about responding to emails. Had an email in my box today asking if she had said something that had upset me. I replied and said no i'm just bad about answering emails, and then she sent me another one complaining about her day or whatever
what is the deal?
i think she thinks i want to talk to her now
pff