OMG
I don't even know what to say here. Life is moving again, although I may continue to drag my feet while I can.
I can't recall when I updated last. Probably when I flipped the boat so we'll start from there again. I finished the semester again. After a little bit of doubt, it turns out I did well again. I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with taking advantage of what I've been granted by chance. I got a bunch of A's in hard classes again and my parents recently moved into a scarily nice house. I don't feel happy about these things. They just kind of happen, and I happen to reap the benefits. People tend to complement me on them a lot, which makes me really awkward. It's taken me a long time for me to learn to just say thank you. Even mentioning it here, theoretically without an audience perturbs me.
Instead of these socially acceptable benchmarks, I find pride in the small, supposedly inconsequential nonsense of life. A good conversation means more than a good exam grade to me. Perhaps the relative difficultly makes me feel that way. The changes I have managed to achieve in my life while still maintaining who I am is something I am proud of. Despite the fact that many people don't quite understand/enjoy me, I do, and that's enough.
Next topic. So a resolution was reached by the girl. Or The depending on how you look at it. No luck, but that's to be expected, and I don't know that I'm entirely sad about it. Anyways, I don't think it's possible to fall for someone if you don't let yourself. So I remain where I've been for a while, although with fewer questions again for the moment.
Apparently we're throwing parties now. Threw one last weekend, and it went surprisingly well. Not a huge turn out, but a lot of people were away. Already we have twice the guaranteed by facebook turn out. Not that that means squat, but that's the fun of it. Dunno quite how I feel about it, but it's fun, so whatever.
I can't recall when I updated last. Probably when I flipped the boat so we'll start from there again. I finished the semester again. After a little bit of doubt, it turns out I did well again. I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable with taking advantage of what I've been granted by chance. I got a bunch of A's in hard classes again and my parents recently moved into a scarily nice house. I don't feel happy about these things. They just kind of happen, and I happen to reap the benefits. People tend to complement me on them a lot, which makes me really awkward. It's taken me a long time for me to learn to just say thank you. Even mentioning it here, theoretically without an audience perturbs me.
Instead of these socially acceptable benchmarks, I find pride in the small, supposedly inconsequential nonsense of life. A good conversation means more than a good exam grade to me. Perhaps the relative difficultly makes me feel that way. The changes I have managed to achieve in my life while still maintaining who I am is something I am proud of. Despite the fact that many people don't quite understand/enjoy me, I do, and that's enough.
Next topic. So a resolution was reached by the girl. Or The depending on how you look at it. No luck, but that's to be expected, and I don't know that I'm entirely sad about it. Anyways, I don't think it's possible to fall for someone if you don't let yourself. So I remain where I've been for a while, although with fewer questions again for the moment.
Apparently we're throwing parties now. Threw one last weekend, and it went surprisingly well. Not a huge turn out, but a lot of people were away. Already we have twice the guaranteed by facebook turn out. Not that that means squat, but that's the fun of it. Dunno quite how I feel about it, but it's fun, so whatever.