(no subject)
“Maize has invited us to dinner?” Frank asked as he untied his apron.
“Apparently,” said Elise, hanging hers up beneath the peg labeled with her name. “Apparently she ran into a great deal of money recently.”
“Drug dealing?”
“Nope. I heard she finally finished that commission she’s been procrastinating on for over a year.”
“Really? I guess Tweesa wins the bet, then. I thought she’d hold out for at least a few more months.”
“Yeah, no kidding. Oh--don’t forget to grab some alcohol.”
Frank pulled his jacket on and grabbed the nearest bottle on the nearest shelf without really looking. It sloshed as he walked towards the door, meaning that there was a liquid contained inside. That was a good thing. If it was a liquid, it didn’t matter what it was, so long as it knocked everybody out. Hopefully for good.
“Hurry up Frank!” called Elise from her car, “You want me to give you a ride or not?”
--------------------
Tweesa arrived at Maize’s flat. The studio, in its usual state of disorder, still had paints, brushes, pencils, canvases and paper strewn all over the floor, but an area near the center had been cleared away so that the floor was visible, and there was a table placed in it, complete with a tablecloth (probably extra canvas) and four mismatched chairs. Tweesa put her jacket on the one covered with the fewest paint splotches.
“Maize? You there?”
“Yep! In the kitchen! Just sit tight! Dinner’ll be ready in a minute!”
Tweesa sat down in her chair, which wobbled on its four uneven legs, and cautiously sniffed the air. No smoke--that was a good thing, but still--
And then the realization hit her like a brick in an alleyway.
“Wait--You’re cooking!?” she called out.
--------------------
“What!? We’re not getting takeout?” hissed Frank, after he’d put his things on the floor next to his chair.
“No! She’s cooking!” whispered Tweesa through clenched teeth.
“Do you remember the last time we let her sell her ‘special’ margaritas at work!? She nearly killed five people! Her cookies cause cancer for chrissake!”
“You think I don’t know that!? We tried making a souffle at my appartment with her once--she nearly burned the whole complex down!”
“Should we run while we still have a chance?” Frank glanced around nervously.
“What?” said Elise, chiming in for the first time, “And give up an opportunity for free food?”
Tweesa nodded in assent, albeit witha worried expression. “I’m not about to give up the chance to eat dinner at someone else’s expense.”
Frank sighed.
--------------------
Several hours ago, Maize had opened up her recipe book, with all her ingredients spread out on her very limited countertop, and started to cook. She’d decided to make a big casserole dish of “Pizza Style Lasagna” and “Old Fashioned Cornbread.” So far, things had gone smoothly, although she ran into a little trouble when she couldn’t figure out what the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon was. She was pretty sure she’d gotten it right. As the oven timer at last began to reach zero, she pulled on her oven mitts, put on a protective hockey mask, and opened the oven door just as the timer rang.
“Oh good,” she said, “No flame.”
She carefully eyed the lasagna and the cornbread, which seemed okay. There were no particularly charred bits, no undercooked bits, and there were no strange smells. For the first time ever, there seemed to be nothing wrong with the dinner she had cooked. Triumphantly, she took her two dishes to her guests, who seemed stunned that nothing was a la flambe or that there were no poisonous fumes being emitted from the food.
“Wow, Maize!” said Frank, “It looks like you didn’t mess up after all!”
“The lasagna looks pretty good,” said Tweesa, eyeing it hungrily.
Elise was already cutting into the cornbread.
Maize sat down at the table and hung her apron (conveniently “borrowed” from Satan’s Silhouette) on the back of her chair, and pulled a plate towards herself as well.
--------------------
“Good dinner!” said Frank, patting his belly contentedly.
“Yeah,” said Elise, leaning back in her chair, “That was good. I liked the cornbread the most.”
Tweesa nodded in agreement as Maize burped soundly.
“Anybody up for some wine?” asked Frank.
“Sure,” said Tweesa, “I could use something to drink.”
“I’ll get the glasses,” said Maize.
“Make sure they don’t have toxic paints on them,” said Elise.
“Har har. Very funny. That only happened once, might I add.”
Maize returned with four relatively clean glasses as Frank pulled the bottle out of the paper bag. He poured three glasses full of the amber colored liquid.
“Cheers!” said Maize, raising her glass.
“Cheers,” chorused her guests.
The glasses clinked.
--------------------
“Uuurrrrgghhh.”
Maize groaned as she rolled out of bed. She tripped on something on her way to the table--with a muffled “oof,” Elise emerged from underneath the crumpled tablecloth. Maize staggered to the center of the room, and was consequently blinded by the light that filtered through her grime-encrusted windowpanes.
“Tweeeeesaaa?” she called out, eyes half shut.
“Mmmhere,” mumbled a lump from the far corner of the room. “Frank was in the kitchen, I think.”
Maize shuffled to the kitchen, and found Frank passed out with his head in the sink.
A few seconds passed as she remembered how to be angry.
“What the HELL was that stuff you gave us last night!?”
Frank groaned.
“Could you make your voice a little less louder, please? It hurts my brain...”
“OH, I’M SORRY--DOES MY SHOUTING BOTHER YOUR MIGRANE!?”
“YES!” came a chorus of shouts from various parts of the room.
Maize staggered back over to the table, where Elise was trying to steady herself on a wobbly chair with little success. Stumbling a little on the debris that had found its way to the floor, Maize pulled what appeared to be the bottle containing the liquid Frank had fed them the night before. Her eyes widened.
“ELISE’S ‘INSTANT ANESTHESIA PROTOTYPE’!? INGREDIENTS INCLUDE ELEPHANT TRANQUILIZERS, 112% PROOF MOONSHINE AND SLEEPING PILLS!?”
She tossed the bottle at Elise, who fell over in an attempt either to catch or dodge it. Then Maize stormed back into the kitchen and hit Frank over the head.
“Owwww!” he groaned, clutching at his temples.
“Why, why, why, why, why did you not read the label, dumbass!?”
“Cuz--cuz--cuz--I thought it was wine..” Frank stammered.
“You’re idiots! I hope you know that!”
Heh, I was amused by the way this story came out. At first it was meant to be ME that made the cooking blunder, but it turns out Frank brought Elise's special drink instead. XD I'm sorry for hitting you Frank, but the whole second half of the story just sorta....happened. XD As for Elise--I don't know where she got the elephant tranqulizers. Or the 112% proof moonshine. I think its best not to ask, really.
“Apparently,” said Elise, hanging hers up beneath the peg labeled with her name. “Apparently she ran into a great deal of money recently.”
“Drug dealing?”
“Nope. I heard she finally finished that commission she’s been procrastinating on for over a year.”
“Really? I guess Tweesa wins the bet, then. I thought she’d hold out for at least a few more months.”
“Yeah, no kidding. Oh--don’t forget to grab some alcohol.”
Frank pulled his jacket on and grabbed the nearest bottle on the nearest shelf without really looking. It sloshed as he walked towards the door, meaning that there was a liquid contained inside. That was a good thing. If it was a liquid, it didn’t matter what it was, so long as it knocked everybody out. Hopefully for good.
“Hurry up Frank!” called Elise from her car, “You want me to give you a ride or not?”
--------------------
Tweesa arrived at Maize’s flat. The studio, in its usual state of disorder, still had paints, brushes, pencils, canvases and paper strewn all over the floor, but an area near the center had been cleared away so that the floor was visible, and there was a table placed in it, complete with a tablecloth (probably extra canvas) and four mismatched chairs. Tweesa put her jacket on the one covered with the fewest paint splotches.
“Maize? You there?”
“Yep! In the kitchen! Just sit tight! Dinner’ll be ready in a minute!”
Tweesa sat down in her chair, which wobbled on its four uneven legs, and cautiously sniffed the air. No smoke--that was a good thing, but still--
And then the realization hit her like a brick in an alleyway.
“Wait--You’re cooking!?” she called out.
--------------------
“What!? We’re not getting takeout?” hissed Frank, after he’d put his things on the floor next to his chair.
“No! She’s cooking!” whispered Tweesa through clenched teeth.
“Do you remember the last time we let her sell her ‘special’ margaritas at work!? She nearly killed five people! Her cookies cause cancer for chrissake!”
“You think I don’t know that!? We tried making a souffle at my appartment with her once--she nearly burned the whole complex down!”
“Should we run while we still have a chance?” Frank glanced around nervously.
“What?” said Elise, chiming in for the first time, “And give up an opportunity for free food?”
Tweesa nodded in assent, albeit witha worried expression. “I’m not about to give up the chance to eat dinner at someone else’s expense.”
Frank sighed.
--------------------
Several hours ago, Maize had opened up her recipe book, with all her ingredients spread out on her very limited countertop, and started to cook. She’d decided to make a big casserole dish of “Pizza Style Lasagna” and “Old Fashioned Cornbread.” So far, things had gone smoothly, although she ran into a little trouble when she couldn’t figure out what the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon was. She was pretty sure she’d gotten it right. As the oven timer at last began to reach zero, she pulled on her oven mitts, put on a protective hockey mask, and opened the oven door just as the timer rang.
“Oh good,” she said, “No flame.”
She carefully eyed the lasagna and the cornbread, which seemed okay. There were no particularly charred bits, no undercooked bits, and there were no strange smells. For the first time ever, there seemed to be nothing wrong with the dinner she had cooked. Triumphantly, she took her two dishes to her guests, who seemed stunned that nothing was a la flambe or that there were no poisonous fumes being emitted from the food.
“Wow, Maize!” said Frank, “It looks like you didn’t mess up after all!”
“The lasagna looks pretty good,” said Tweesa, eyeing it hungrily.
Elise was already cutting into the cornbread.
Maize sat down at the table and hung her apron (conveniently “borrowed” from Satan’s Silhouette) on the back of her chair, and pulled a plate towards herself as well.
--------------------
“Good dinner!” said Frank, patting his belly contentedly.
“Yeah,” said Elise, leaning back in her chair, “That was good. I liked the cornbread the most.”
Tweesa nodded in agreement as Maize burped soundly.
“Anybody up for some wine?” asked Frank.
“Sure,” said Tweesa, “I could use something to drink.”
“I’ll get the glasses,” said Maize.
“Make sure they don’t have toxic paints on them,” said Elise.
“Har har. Very funny. That only happened once, might I add.”
Maize returned with four relatively clean glasses as Frank pulled the bottle out of the paper bag. He poured three glasses full of the amber colored liquid.
“Cheers!” said Maize, raising her glass.
“Cheers,” chorused her guests.
The glasses clinked.
--------------------
“Uuurrrrgghhh.”
Maize groaned as she rolled out of bed. She tripped on something on her way to the table--with a muffled “oof,” Elise emerged from underneath the crumpled tablecloth. Maize staggered to the center of the room, and was consequently blinded by the light that filtered through her grime-encrusted windowpanes.
“Tweeeeesaaa?” she called out, eyes half shut.
“Mmmhere,” mumbled a lump from the far corner of the room. “Frank was in the kitchen, I think.”
Maize shuffled to the kitchen, and found Frank passed out with his head in the sink.
A few seconds passed as she remembered how to be angry.
“What the HELL was that stuff you gave us last night!?”
Frank groaned.
“Could you make your voice a little less louder, please? It hurts my brain...”
“OH, I’M SORRY--DOES MY SHOUTING BOTHER YOUR MIGRANE!?”
“YES!” came a chorus of shouts from various parts of the room.
Maize staggered back over to the table, where Elise was trying to steady herself on a wobbly chair with little success. Stumbling a little on the debris that had found its way to the floor, Maize pulled what appeared to be the bottle containing the liquid Frank had fed them the night before. Her eyes widened.
“ELISE’S ‘INSTANT ANESTHESIA PROTOTYPE’!? INGREDIENTS INCLUDE ELEPHANT TRANQUILIZERS, 112% PROOF MOONSHINE AND SLEEPING PILLS!?”
She tossed the bottle at Elise, who fell over in an attempt either to catch or dodge it. Then Maize stormed back into the kitchen and hit Frank over the head.
“Owwww!” he groaned, clutching at his temples.
“Why, why, why, why, why did you not read the label, dumbass!?”
“Cuz--cuz--cuz--I thought it was wine..” Frank stammered.
“You’re idiots! I hope you know that!”
Heh, I was amused by the way this story came out. At first it was meant to be ME that made the cooking blunder, but it turns out Frank brought Elise's special drink instead. XD I'm sorry for hitting you Frank, but the whole second half of the story just sorta....happened. XD As for Elise--I don't know where she got the elephant tranqulizers. Or the 112% proof moonshine. I think its best not to ask, really.