NOT DEAD!! Yay
Title: Grand Opening
Authors: drkhearted & minimaize
Rating: PG for use of alcohol and mild violence
Notes: Written AGES ago by Maize and I over an AIM convo. I am quite sure she has forgotten by now. Anyways, this is about the opening of the bar and the hiring of some of our employees.
Maize stood back from the wall and admired her handiwork. The picture frame hung perfectly parallel to the ceiling and the floor. Perfect.
"Frank! The place's ready to be opened!"
Frank sat on one of the bar stools, spinning himself around. He felt a little dizzy, but at least that was better than boredom. Satan's Silhouette should've been opened five hours ago, but because of Maize's compulsive habit to make everything she touched aesthetically pleasing, opening had taken several hours longer than expected. He walked to the door, unlocked it and braced himself for the impatient crowd to come pouring in. --Which, of course, it didn't. There was no crowd. This was the upper-class district of the City of Dis. There denizens of this area of the city wouldn't degrade themselves enough to wait impatiently outside a bar and nightclub. They'd nonchalantly be sitting on park benches and leaning on lampposts around the area instead. Frank sighed, and walked himself back over to the bar, where Maize was already pouring herself a glass of champagne.
"Now all we have to do is get some employees here," she said, downing her glass in one mighty gulp.
*****
Frank and Maize sat opposite Elise around the back of the bar. Frank was not too happy to have to sit on a trash can, but since Maize didn't want to build an employee's lounge, where interviews such as this would be more comfortably conducted, this would have to do. Frank lightly skimmed over Elise's resume. She did have waiting experience when she was alive, and she was honest enough to admit that she was only taking this job to support her supposedly burgeoning writing career. However, Frank wasn't entire convinced she could handle working in a bar, much less working at one in Hell.
"So," Frank started in a very psychologist-like manner, "how does working at a bar make you feel?"
That's when she hit him with the trash can lid. "I hate psychologists. They don't do a fucking thing. Trust me, I've had several back when I was alive."
Frank recovered, holding his head back to stop the blood from running all over the place from his nose. "She'll do."
*****
Maize glanced warily at the rugged contraption that stood before her. It was an upright piano that had obviously seen better days, as the faded and crumbling wood of its exterior was marred by several scratches, stained by some mystery fluid of some era long past, and was held together in some places with the ever-reliable duct tape. She was beginning to rethink the idea of hiring a pianist--but it was a posh bar they were running. People seemed to enjoy having music serenade them on their exciting journey to alcoholic oblivion.
"So," she said, holding a resume in her right hand, "I see you've been kind enough to supply your own piano." The applicant nodded mutely, looking uncomfortable sitting on the cold concrete of the employee lounge. "Well, uh, 'Tweesa,' perhaps you'd be kind enough to play something for me, just to prove you can hold a piano correctly?"
"Sure," said Tweesa, "Do you have anything in mind?"
Maize thought a moment, in unfamiliar territory. "Ah!" she said at last, "That song...Fur Elise, it's called, I think. At least I know what that sounds like."
The temperature in the air dropped several degrees. Tweesa's expression became wooden--like the expression an artisan would've carved onto the face of an angry god. Suddenly, the wobbly three-and-a-half-legged piano-bench looked very sharp and pointy. Maize, bewildered, changed her mind.
"Why don't you pick the song, then?" she said.
Tweesa nodded and strode over to the beat-up instrument, and commenced to play a song Maize had never heard. It sounded very difficult, with lots of scales, arpeggios, and doublestops--not that Maize actually knew what any of those words meant. She just knew that there were a lot of notes coming out of the piano at once, very fast.
"Okay! Okay!" she said, just as Tweesa looked as she was going to destroy the keyboard with a loud chord done a la Beethoven, "You're hired!"
******
Frank decided to do the next interview in the wine cellar. He felt being inside would be more appropriate, even if it was in a dark and dingy cellar.
There was something about Dan that Frank found kind of askew. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Frank decided to sit this one out and just observe. He didn't need another "Elise" incident.
"So, why do you want to be our bouncer, Dan?" Maize said, as nicely as Maize could say anything.
"Do you like Harry Potter?" Dan said, taking things into his own hands.
"... Excuse me?" Maize didn't understand where he was going with this.
"DO. You. Like. Harry. Potter?" Dan repeated
"Who is he?"
Maize didn't realize that these could have been her last words as Dan, with surprising agility, leaped on top of Maize and tried to strangle her with his shoelace. It took Frank all of his strength to prey him off of her. Surprisingly, the next thing to come out of Maize's mouth was "you're hired."
***
Maize and Frank sat opposite their very first customer: Sana. She was quietly sipping her beer while Frank and Maize had a mini-conversation solely with their eyes. They then turned to Sana, who was still very concentrated on her drink.
“As a psychologist, I feel having a ‘regular’ would be good for business. I find that a consistent, familiar face will help draw the crowd. So…” Frank looked at Maize one last time, and after her nod of approval, he continued. “We will give you free beer for the rest of your un-life if you just hang out here whenever you have a chance.”
“And ONLY beer. Any other drink you will unfortunately have to pay for. Sorry, but we would like to make a profit.”
Sana didn’t react at all. Frank and Maize awkwardly shuffled in their seats awaiting anything. Sana finally looked up from her drink, and stared at Frank pensively. Frank prepared for another beating when she finally responded:
“Sure.”
Authors: drkhearted & minimaize
Rating: PG for use of alcohol and mild violence
Notes: Written AGES ago by Maize and I over an AIM convo. I am quite sure she has forgotten by now. Anyways, this is about the opening of the bar and the hiring of some of our employees.
Maize stood back from the wall and admired her handiwork. The picture frame hung perfectly parallel to the ceiling and the floor. Perfect.
"Frank! The place's ready to be opened!"
Frank sat on one of the bar stools, spinning himself around. He felt a little dizzy, but at least that was better than boredom. Satan's Silhouette should've been opened five hours ago, but because of Maize's compulsive habit to make everything she touched aesthetically pleasing, opening had taken several hours longer than expected. He walked to the door, unlocked it and braced himself for the impatient crowd to come pouring in. --Which, of course, it didn't. There was no crowd. This was the upper-class district of the City of Dis. There denizens of this area of the city wouldn't degrade themselves enough to wait impatiently outside a bar and nightclub. They'd nonchalantly be sitting on park benches and leaning on lampposts around the area instead. Frank sighed, and walked himself back over to the bar, where Maize was already pouring herself a glass of champagne.
"Now all we have to do is get some employees here," she said, downing her glass in one mighty gulp.
*****
Frank and Maize sat opposite Elise around the back of the bar. Frank was not too happy to have to sit on a trash can, but since Maize didn't want to build an employee's lounge, where interviews such as this would be more comfortably conducted, this would have to do. Frank lightly skimmed over Elise's resume. She did have waiting experience when she was alive, and she was honest enough to admit that she was only taking this job to support her supposedly burgeoning writing career. However, Frank wasn't entire convinced she could handle working in a bar, much less working at one in Hell.
"So," Frank started in a very psychologist-like manner, "how does working at a bar make you feel?"
That's when she hit him with the trash can lid. "I hate psychologists. They don't do a fucking thing. Trust me, I've had several back when I was alive."
Frank recovered, holding his head back to stop the blood from running all over the place from his nose. "She'll do."
*****
Maize glanced warily at the rugged contraption that stood before her. It was an upright piano that had obviously seen better days, as the faded and crumbling wood of its exterior was marred by several scratches, stained by some mystery fluid of some era long past, and was held together in some places with the ever-reliable duct tape. She was beginning to rethink the idea of hiring a pianist--but it was a posh bar they were running. People seemed to enjoy having music serenade them on their exciting journey to alcoholic oblivion.
"So," she said, holding a resume in her right hand, "I see you've been kind enough to supply your own piano." The applicant nodded mutely, looking uncomfortable sitting on the cold concrete of the employee lounge. "Well, uh, 'Tweesa,' perhaps you'd be kind enough to play something for me, just to prove you can hold a piano correctly?"
"Sure," said Tweesa, "Do you have anything in mind?"
Maize thought a moment, in unfamiliar territory. "Ah!" she said at last, "That song...Fur Elise, it's called, I think. At least I know what that sounds like."
The temperature in the air dropped several degrees. Tweesa's expression became wooden--like the expression an artisan would've carved onto the face of an angry god. Suddenly, the wobbly three-and-a-half-legged piano-bench looked very sharp and pointy. Maize, bewildered, changed her mind.
"Why don't you pick the song, then?" she said.
Tweesa nodded and strode over to the beat-up instrument, and commenced to play a song Maize had never heard. It sounded very difficult, with lots of scales, arpeggios, and doublestops--not that Maize actually knew what any of those words meant. She just knew that there were a lot of notes coming out of the piano at once, very fast.
"Okay! Okay!" she said, just as Tweesa looked as she was going to destroy the keyboard with a loud chord done a la Beethoven, "You're hired!"
******
Frank decided to do the next interview in the wine cellar. He felt being inside would be more appropriate, even if it was in a dark and dingy cellar.
There was something about Dan that Frank found kind of askew. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Frank decided to sit this one out and just observe. He didn't need another "Elise" incident.
"So, why do you want to be our bouncer, Dan?" Maize said, as nicely as Maize could say anything.
"Do you like Harry Potter?" Dan said, taking things into his own hands.
"... Excuse me?" Maize didn't understand where he was going with this.
"DO. You. Like. Harry. Potter?" Dan repeated
"Who is he?"
Maize didn't realize that these could have been her last words as Dan, with surprising agility, leaped on top of Maize and tried to strangle her with his shoelace. It took Frank all of his strength to prey him off of her. Surprisingly, the next thing to come out of Maize's mouth was "you're hired."
***
Maize and Frank sat opposite their very first customer: Sana. She was quietly sipping her beer while Frank and Maize had a mini-conversation solely with their eyes. They then turned to Sana, who was still very concentrated on her drink.
“As a psychologist, I feel having a ‘regular’ would be good for business. I find that a consistent, familiar face will help draw the crowd. So…” Frank looked at Maize one last time, and after her nod of approval, he continued. “We will give you free beer for the rest of your un-life if you just hang out here whenever you have a chance.”
“And ONLY beer. Any other drink you will unfortunately have to pay for. Sorry, but we would like to make a profit.”
Sana didn’t react at all. Frank and Maize awkwardly shuffled in their seats awaiting anything. Sana finally looked up from her drink, and stared at Frank pensively. Frank prepared for another beating when she finally responded:
“Sure.”