Read This!
So I guess this is me going ahead and making an official announcement. I'm posting this to both LiveJournal and Facebook, so I'm sorry if you end up seeing this twice. Feel free to ignore one of them because they both say the same thing. Some of you also already know or have some idea, but read this anyway, just because I said so and because its important to me. This is a public entry by the way, I figured this isn't something I really want or need to keep between just me and my friends list.
Basically the whole point of this is to let people know that I plan on moving to Atlanta as soon as I get my debt payed off and some money saved up. It won't be for awhile yet, I'm thinking something like two years or so, but I figured it was best to let people know now so its not a shock or something when I mention it.
My family has no idea about this yet, and they won't until closer to the move, because I don't want to deal with their passive aggressive “your abandoning us” bullshit. I gave up several years of my life in order to take care of my father (which I would do again in a heartbeat), but I'm expected to keep giving up things I enjoy just because they ask me too. I can't keep doing that, its not fair to me. I know I'm giving up going back to school for the immediate future to do this, but I'm making that choice, and I'm okay with it.
The decision to leave didn't come lightly, and there are quite a few reasons for this. Most of which are private and I don't really want to go in to. Basically what they boil down to is that even though I adore my friends here (too much actually), St. Louis isn't healthy for me anymore. More and more I feel like I'm drowning and its getting harder and harder to keep my head above water. I really want to make it clear though that I'm not leaving because of anything my friends have done or haven't done. Most of my issues about why I need to get out of the area are MY issues, but I know myself well enough to know that unless I leave I'm never going to deal with them.
I've been thinking about moving for awhile, longer than most people would believe, but only recently not only got up the balls to start working on it, but decided where to go. I didn't want to go someplace where I wouldn't know anyone, since being alone is one of my biggest fears. Thankfully, I've got amazing friends in Atlanta, friends who I've been able to talk about some of my issues with and who basically told me to get my ass down there as soon as I can. You've really got to love friends that are willing to verbally smack you upside the head with what you don't want to hear, but need to hear anyway.
So there we go, I'm moving in about two years. It seems like both a long time away and way too soon both at the same time, and the very idea terrifies me, but unless something drastic happens its going to be the best thing for me.