FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY!
This was the first week that I had no problem with getting to school in 6 months. It was my first full week without being late or absent in 6 months. I was very proud of myself. After school I went over Tasha's house with Amanda and Jess. We hung out smoked some and just chilled. All of a sudden Tasha's mom comes stormin down the stairs. I've never met her but I'm already on her shit list from yesterday. Her mom was fuckin scary dude.. seriously. She had Tasha come upstairs with her and started yelling at her and shit. She's not supposed to have anyone over and she got in trouble for skipping school. I thought I heard a loud smack or something. Amanda heard it too. So we left and went to Frankie's house. We chilled and stuff for a lil bit. Frankie got upset over something which I still don't know and left us three in the living room alone. Later on I went to a party with Beth. It was a lot of fun. We hung out with about 20 people. At one point we had to walk threw a jewish graveyard on our way to get dutchies. The fence was too tall for me to get over so me and Beth just sat on some gravestones and waited for Pete, Collen, and Nile to get back. We were talking about stupid shit cuz we were a bit high. We were talking about Hitler and I screamed "ALL HAIL HITLER!!!" I totally forgot where we were. It was hilarious. HAHAHA! I thought I was gunna get the shit beat out of me from someone around. I mean we were sitting in a jewish cemetary in Poughkeepsie. Not a good combination to scream something about Hitler. Nothing happened which I was happy about. We got back to the smoke spot and we smoked some more. In three hours we probably smoked about 4 or 5 blunts. I came home so fucked up. It was great. I crashed on the chair in the living room.
Today:
Woke up really early for a weekend. Went online for a bit. Anthony called me and asked if me and Alex wanted to go swimming. I said I was gunna go but not swim. I forgot that I had things to do for mom as always. When I was getting ready to leave she asked me if I was going swimming at the lake too. When I told her yes she started screaming at me. I surprising DIDN'T roll my eyes like I usually do. I just turned around and grabbed the duster. Once I did that mom started screamin "NO FUCK IT LINDSAY! DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO! LEAVE HAVE FUN!" That's bullshit! The one fuckin time I don't complain about cleaning I get bitched at for trying to help. Mom threw out her back during the week so I've been helping her non-stop. Giving her massages and everything and she gives me this shit when I was trying to help?? FUCK HER! I was just like fine if you want me to leave whatever. I left and she screamed out the window something about A&P. I just told her that she already told me to leave so that's what I was doing. I calmed down after about 6 stoges. When we were walking back into Chelsea Cove George came by with a little baby crow. I took it and was going to keep it. Mom said it could stay on the porch which is fine with me. I called places to find out how to take care of it and everything. They told me it's best to just give it someone who knows what they're doing. It was the right thing to do because I don't want the poor thing to die. So I ended up giving it to Elizabeth because she raise robins and wild animals before. She told me it's not going to last the night most likely. I was upset by that. So I'm gunna call her and ask about it tomorrow. I can't believe it's a crow though. I love crows. Out of all the birds that George found out of it's nest, it was a crow. Hopefully Elizabeth won't give it to any Raptor place for them to take care of because I want to take it back when it's bigger. But then again, they could get depressed and start self mutilating themselves like Lee {one of the women I called} told me. Whatever will be the best for the bird is what I'm after.
I was supposed to hang out with Amanda and Frankie and go see Star Wars again. But mom doesn't have any money. We literally poor now. I overheard mom and she said that she had like 40 bucks in her bank account or something like that. Aint that wonderful to know. Yes I think it is. It definatly puts my stress level down a lot! And that's sarcasm for all who are dumb to not relize that. I hope they come back here because I'm so fuckin bored. Oh yea and Alex, Anthony, and I were supposed to hang out again. They left to get money for some money, herb and alcohol and they never came back! WHAT THE FUCK! They fuckin ditched me! I just saw them 5 minutes ago when I looked outside driving right by the house and not bother with picking me up. GREAT FUCKIN FRIENDS AND GREAT BROTHER! RIGHT?! I bet that the only reason I was hanging out with them before is because they called my cell phone and I answered. I bet you a thousand fuckin dollars! AAAHHH! I HATE FUCKIN PEOPLE LATELY! I need to beat the shit out of something. I need a moshpit to just appear in front of my house right now so I can take my fuckin anger I've been holding in for months now out on everyone else. Just throw my fist around everywhere and get the shit beat out of. That's what I want right here right now. Also some fuckin herb. I haven't smoked in a couple of hours and it's killin me. Being pissed off and wanting weed does not mix. Being straight sucks.
Liberate
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madness
I just want to...
Section off myself
Put a wall up/What the hell have I done
Keep the dog at bay
Survive by saving me!
Values and the game
Not a fuck-up - Not a part of your lie
I am one, I am all - I'm above and beyond!
Back off of the shit
Stand off or I'll spit
So soft, you forget
Your garbage in is garbage out
You don't give a shit
I won't play the fit
Get off, get on this
Your garbage in is garbage out
Liberate my madness...
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madnessv I just want to...
I am not ashamed
What is vital, isn't always humane
You can break in vain
But you can't break away
Even in my face
Lotta bullshit, not alotta the truth
I can't see from here
But I can smell your fear
Back off of the shit
Stand off or I'll spit
So soft, you forget
Your garbage in is garbage out
You don't give a shit
I won't play the fit
Get off, get on this
Your garbage in is garbage out
Saved - You're such a slave - I don't expect a
Name - You don't care - I wasn't witness -
I can't be a part of a system such as this
Hard eyes - Glow right - In my - Darkness - Again
With the sickness, rengade blisters, sisters,
Salivate, litigate, liberate, madness, sadness
Fuck this - How long have I had this?
I don't need this - Outta my business
Insert, engage, betrayed, MY GOD
FRAUD
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madness
I just want to...
Today:
Woke up really early for a weekend. Went online for a bit. Anthony called me and asked if me and Alex wanted to go swimming. I said I was gunna go but not swim. I forgot that I had things to do for mom as always. When I was getting ready to leave she asked me if I was going swimming at the lake too. When I told her yes she started screaming at me. I surprising DIDN'T roll my eyes like I usually do. I just turned around and grabbed the duster. Once I did that mom started screamin "NO FUCK IT LINDSAY! DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO! LEAVE HAVE FUN!" That's bullshit! The one fuckin time I don't complain about cleaning I get bitched at for trying to help. Mom threw out her back during the week so I've been helping her non-stop. Giving her massages and everything and she gives me this shit when I was trying to help?? FUCK HER! I was just like fine if you want me to leave whatever. I left and she screamed out the window something about A&P. I just told her that she already told me to leave so that's what I was doing. I calmed down after about 6 stoges. When we were walking back into Chelsea Cove George came by with a little baby crow. I took it and was going to keep it. Mom said it could stay on the porch which is fine with me. I called places to find out how to take care of it and everything. They told me it's best to just give it someone who knows what they're doing. It was the right thing to do because I don't want the poor thing to die. So I ended up giving it to Elizabeth because she raise robins and wild animals before. She told me it's not going to last the night most likely. I was upset by that. So I'm gunna call her and ask about it tomorrow. I can't believe it's a crow though. I love crows. Out of all the birds that George found out of it's nest, it was a crow. Hopefully Elizabeth won't give it to any Raptor place for them to take care of because I want to take it back when it's bigger. But then again, they could get depressed and start self mutilating themselves like Lee {one of the women I called} told me. Whatever will be the best for the bird is what I'm after.
I was supposed to hang out with Amanda and Frankie and go see Star Wars again. But mom doesn't have any money. We literally poor now. I overheard mom and she said that she had like 40 bucks in her bank account or something like that. Aint that wonderful to know. Yes I think it is. It definatly puts my stress level down a lot! And that's sarcasm for all who are dumb to not relize that. I hope they come back here because I'm so fuckin bored. Oh yea and Alex, Anthony, and I were supposed to hang out again. They left to get money for some money, herb and alcohol and they never came back! WHAT THE FUCK! They fuckin ditched me! I just saw them 5 minutes ago when I looked outside driving right by the house and not bother with picking me up. GREAT FUCKIN FRIENDS AND GREAT BROTHER! RIGHT?! I bet that the only reason I was hanging out with them before is because they called my cell phone and I answered. I bet you a thousand fuckin dollars! AAAHHH! I HATE FUCKIN PEOPLE LATELY! I need to beat the shit out of something. I need a moshpit to just appear in front of my house right now so I can take my fuckin anger I've been holding in for months now out on everyone else. Just throw my fist around everywhere and get the shit beat out of. That's what I want right here right now. Also some fuckin herb. I haven't smoked in a couple of hours and it's killin me. Being pissed off and wanting weed does not mix. Being straight sucks.
Liberate
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madness
I just want to...
Section off myself
Put a wall up/What the hell have I done
Keep the dog at bay
Survive by saving me!
Values and the game
Not a fuck-up - Not a part of your lie
I am one, I am all - I'm above and beyond!
Back off of the shit
Stand off or I'll spit
So soft, you forget
Your garbage in is garbage out
You don't give a shit
I won't play the fit
Get off, get on this
Your garbage in is garbage out
Liberate my madness...
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madnessv I just want to...
I am not ashamed
What is vital, isn't always humane
You can break in vain
But you can't break away
Even in my face
Lotta bullshit, not alotta the truth
I can't see from here
But I can smell your fear
Back off of the shit
Stand off or I'll spit
So soft, you forget
Your garbage in is garbage out
You don't give a shit
I won't play the fit
Get off, get on this
Your garbage in is garbage out
Saved - You're such a slave - I don't expect a
Name - You don't care - I wasn't witness -
I can't be a part of a system such as this
Hard eyes - Glow right - In my - Darkness - Again
With the sickness, rengade blisters, sisters,
Salivate, litigate, liberate, madness, sadness
Fuck this - How long have I had this?
I don't need this - Outta my business
Insert, engage, betrayed, MY GOD
FRAUD
Liberate - My madness
(One of me, all of you)
Liberate - My madness
I just want to...