How Satan and Satan's Parents Learned to Love
Miwon wrote:
i had a sad thought the last few days that i don't feel very emotionally attached to my parents. i rarely see them (about 3x a year max). i talk to them once a week but only b/c i feel obligated to call. when they are gone on trips, i don't miss them. i don't feel that excited about the thought of them visiting me or me visiting them. i definitely have an emotional connection to them but it often feels the connection is more based on obligation, guilt and negative emotions. i really hope my kids don't feel that way towards me when i have kids one day. it doesn't feel good to feel to feel this way, i often feel like a "bad" daughter b/c i feel very grateful for the ways in which they have helped me and provided for me. but the "emotional" connection just doesn't feel strong. i wonder if others feel this way towards their parents? is it b/c we grew up the "asian" way? without a lot of affection?
Dear Miwon,
As satan, it’s probably no surprise that my relationship with my parents was rocky for a looooong time. But I’m happy to say that we were able to work on it, and while we still have miscommunication, hurt feelings, guilt trips and negative emotions, generally speaking, I feel like we’re on the same page, understanding where we’re at and where we’re going-which is to say that we recognize that we’re in the midst of growth and on a road towards self-discovery, driven by what we have learned and what we can learn from each other.
At times, Satan’s mother can’t help reciting a classic litany of guilt. When she tells me to do something, and after I decide not to do it, she sometimes says, “Fine, do whatever you want. You don’t listen to me ever anyway.” I have to pause our exchange for a second, gather my thoughts and remind her, “Hey, I really do care what you say, and I love it when you give me your advice, but I’m not always going to do it. Listening to you and doing what you want me to do are different things, and it’s not fair for you to act like I’m not a loving child simply because I don’t do everything you say.” In part, perhaps parents never lose that feeling of resentment that you are not a minion to be manipulated by their will (as are so many other souls are in my realm).
The truly wonderful thing about my parents is that in most cases, they need only a little bit of effort to remind them how much love we share. I didn’t think it could be so easy. Sometimes, a simple unexpected call or visit can brighten up their week or make them smile. And sometimes, a step further, when I solicit their advice, or follow it for small things, helps them feel like they’re a positive contributing force in my life.
I think my parents struggled, for a long time, regarding how they should feel about decisions I made for myself. There were times when they felt I was making the wrong decision, like orbiting the universe. They thought I should just enjoy the stability of hell, the regular grind of torturing souls. Their concern for my well-being manifested into a display of disappointment, accompanied by the constant question of “Why?” I felt a strong urge to quiet them, to find something to say that would stop them from their prying.
But I resisted. And later, I saw that their “Why?” was more than an expression of doubt, but deeply wrapped inside, there was a kernel of wonderment-true interest regarding how it was that I became this other thing, different from what they originally imagined or set out to create. That line that we had mutually consdered as a borderline, dividing us, was actually a connecting bridge to be discovered and explored, to share our new ongoing experiences and compare notes and grow emboldened and inquisitve in the world with our various trajectories, rather than the small narrow one they’d already traveled.
And that was how Satan and those who bore Satan learned to love each other anew.
i had a sad thought the last few days that i don't feel very emotionally attached to my parents. i rarely see them (about 3x a year max). i talk to them once a week but only b/c i feel obligated to call. when they are gone on trips, i don't miss them. i don't feel that excited about the thought of them visiting me or me visiting them. i definitely have an emotional connection to them but it often feels the connection is more based on obligation, guilt and negative emotions. i really hope my kids don't feel that way towards me when i have kids one day. it doesn't feel good to feel to feel this way, i often feel like a "bad" daughter b/c i feel very grateful for the ways in which they have helped me and provided for me. but the "emotional" connection just doesn't feel strong. i wonder if others feel this way towards their parents? is it b/c we grew up the "asian" way? without a lot of affection?
Dear Miwon,
As satan, it’s probably no surprise that my relationship with my parents was rocky for a looooong time. But I’m happy to say that we were able to work on it, and while we still have miscommunication, hurt feelings, guilt trips and negative emotions, generally speaking, I feel like we’re on the same page, understanding where we’re at and where we’re going-which is to say that we recognize that we’re in the midst of growth and on a road towards self-discovery, driven by what we have learned and what we can learn from each other.
At times, Satan’s mother can’t help reciting a classic litany of guilt. When she tells me to do something, and after I decide not to do it, she sometimes says, “Fine, do whatever you want. You don’t listen to me ever anyway.” I have to pause our exchange for a second, gather my thoughts and remind her, “Hey, I really do care what you say, and I love it when you give me your advice, but I’m not always going to do it. Listening to you and doing what you want me to do are different things, and it’s not fair for you to act like I’m not a loving child simply because I don’t do everything you say.” In part, perhaps parents never lose that feeling of resentment that you are not a minion to be manipulated by their will (as are so many other souls are in my realm).
The truly wonderful thing about my parents is that in most cases, they need only a little bit of effort to remind them how much love we share. I didn’t think it could be so easy. Sometimes, a simple unexpected call or visit can brighten up their week or make them smile. And sometimes, a step further, when I solicit their advice, or follow it for small things, helps them feel like they’re a positive contributing force in my life.
I think my parents struggled, for a long time, regarding how they should feel about decisions I made for myself. There were times when they felt I was making the wrong decision, like orbiting the universe. They thought I should just enjoy the stability of hell, the regular grind of torturing souls. Their concern for my well-being manifested into a display of disappointment, accompanied by the constant question of “Why?” I felt a strong urge to quiet them, to find something to say that would stop them from their prying.
But I resisted. And later, I saw that their “Why?” was more than an expression of doubt, but deeply wrapped inside, there was a kernel of wonderment-true interest regarding how it was that I became this other thing, different from what they originally imagined or set out to create. That line that we had mutually consdered as a borderline, dividing us, was actually a connecting bridge to be discovered and explored, to share our new ongoing experiences and compare notes and grow emboldened and inquisitve in the world with our various trajectories, rather than the small narrow one they’d already traveled.
And that was how Satan and those who bore Satan learned to love each other anew.