The mailbox, it is overflowing
Let's see what's in Satan's mailbag this morning...
Satan--
What gives? We had a deal! You helped me redistrict Texas and in general let me take all the money I wanted, and in exchange you got my sould. Now I've got some prosecutor trying to shove a cattle prod up my ass and I had to give up the post in the Congress you promised me. I want a refund!
Tom
Dear Tom,
You also promised me a 10% cut, fleshy's of the Bush twins (not that it was all that hard to come by some), and that you would go get a decent haircut. You reneged on all 3 of those things. Under Section 37, Article 6, subsection 12, paragraph 8 it clearly states that in the case of contractual default by either party, Contract holder has a right to alter terms as He sees fit. Plus, what was the big idea helping in trying to lock away the Dark One? You're gonna pay for that one, you can rest assured of that. No refunds, you bloody redneck.
-S
Dearest Satan
Blah blah boom vrooooooo ya ki ki ki wah mroooom wah we ga it swee terrorist threat huh shucks blah ep me oh ga ga doo doo kaboooooooom ba hee hee ah goo?
Dear George,
Dammit, I thought I told Laura not to let you on the computer by yourself anymore. Go back to your room and play with your toys. And try to stay away from the red phone this time, you moron
PS. What's with all you political types writing me lately? Go away, ya bastards
Satan!
Show your tits! Show your tits!
Amanda
Amanda,
Satan is bringing you dyslexia medication for Christmas 'sides, I told you I'd only do that that once
Satan,
Myatt Daymoooonnn! Myatt Daymon Myatt Daymon!
Hi, Matt--yes, I'm sorry you didn't get to have hot puppet love too, but I'm not to blame here. Maybe if your career hadn't taken such a nosedive to where two bad cartoon artists are more popular than you, you'd get considered for scenes like that
Satan,
I want You so badly baby. You are the Alpha and the Omega of my world. I don't care if you've got someone else...she'll never know. I can keep a greeeat secret, and I'll let you do things to me You have never, EVER had done before. Email me, lover man. I totally dig the horns. You aren't whipped, are ya?
Angelina
Dear Angelina,
Of course I'm not whipped. I do anything I want! (looks about furtively). Things never had done before though? You don't know who you're talking to. I've done it all! But maybe I'll let you try and prove me wrong...drop me a line at...um...why do I get the feeling I'm being watched? Errr...I mean I could never do that! I'm devoted to the harem! Away temptress, away! *worried look*
Satan,
I wrote you some time ago asking you to give me a plug, and not once have you ever helped get word out about the next Nambla Meetiiiiiiiiiiii
*hides rod of smiting*. Nothing to see here folks, just a little technical difficulties. Hey look at the time! Been fun, gotta run! DEVLIN! I got another body that needs hiding...erm, napper who needs a bed...
Satan--
What gives? We had a deal! You helped me redistrict Texas and in general let me take all the money I wanted, and in exchange you got my sould. Now I've got some prosecutor trying to shove a cattle prod up my ass and I had to give up the post in the Congress you promised me. I want a refund!
Tom
Dear Tom,
You also promised me a 10% cut, fleshy's of the Bush twins (not that it was all that hard to come by some), and that you would go get a decent haircut. You reneged on all 3 of those things. Under Section 37, Article 6, subsection 12, paragraph 8 it clearly states that in the case of contractual default by either party, Contract holder has a right to alter terms as He sees fit. Plus, what was the big idea helping in trying to lock away the Dark One? You're gonna pay for that one, you can rest assured of that. No refunds, you bloody redneck.
-S
Dearest Satan
Blah blah boom vrooooooo ya ki ki ki wah mroooom wah we ga it swee terrorist threat huh shucks blah ep me oh ga ga doo doo kaboooooooom ba hee hee ah goo?
Dear George,
Dammit, I thought I told Laura not to let you on the computer by yourself anymore. Go back to your room and play with your toys. And try to stay away from the red phone this time, you moron
PS. What's with all you political types writing me lately? Go away, ya bastards
Satan!
Show your tits! Show your tits!
Amanda
Amanda,
Satan is bringing you dyslexia medication for Christmas 'sides, I told you I'd only do that that once
Satan,
Myatt Daymoooonnn! Myatt Daymon Myatt Daymon!
Hi, Matt--yes, I'm sorry you didn't get to have hot puppet love too, but I'm not to blame here. Maybe if your career hadn't taken such a nosedive to where two bad cartoon artists are more popular than you, you'd get considered for scenes like that
Satan,
I want You so badly baby. You are the Alpha and the Omega of my world. I don't care if you've got someone else...she'll never know. I can keep a greeeat secret, and I'll let you do things to me You have never, EVER had done before. Email me, lover man. I totally dig the horns. You aren't whipped, are ya?
Angelina
Dear Angelina,
Of course I'm not whipped. I do anything I want! (looks about furtively). Things never had done before though? You don't know who you're talking to. I've done it all! But maybe I'll let you try and prove me wrong...drop me a line at...um...why do I get the feeling I'm being watched? Errr...I mean I could never do that! I'm devoted to the harem! Away temptress, away! *worried look*
Satan,
I wrote you some time ago asking you to give me a plug, and not once have you ever helped get word out about the next Nambla Meetiiiiiiiiiiii
*hides rod of smiting*. Nothing to see here folks, just a little technical difficulties. Hey look at the time! Been fun, gotta run! DEVLIN! I got another body that needs hiding...erm, napper who needs a bed...