Return to Resembool - A FullMetal Alchemist Short
Title: Return to Resembool
Author/Artist: Satai_Aalann (a.k.a. Sabina-san)
Character/Pairing: Von Hohenheim
Fandom: FullMetal Alchemist
Genre: Angst
A/N: None of the characters belong to me. They belong to Hiromu Arakawa. There are spoilers for those who haven’t seen Episode 20 of Brotherhood. Some of the lines from the episode were borrowed, but everything else is my own writing.
Theme: #12 Children
The trip to Resembool on the train had been a long, arduous one for the man with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and gold eyes hidden behind a pair of thin glasses. Even though he had endured a long train ride, he still had a long walk ahead of him. At least the sky was clear without any sign of rain. It would make the walk from the train station to the Elric home a little easier because he wouldn’t have muddy roads to contend with.
Hohenheim stretched and adjusted his glasses so that he could see clearly. The train had just departed for its next stop from the Risembool station, and the winding road faced him. His limbs felt stiff from the jolting ride on wooden seats, which made him not want to move any further, but Hohenheim sighed with determination. Soon, he would be home.
The road was quiet like it usually was which Hohenheim found comforting after having to race around Amestris for so long to prepare everything for the inevitable future. After taking a few deep breaths of the sweet, country air tinged with fresh grass, he felt more centered and at peace.
“Is that you?”
Hohenheim stopped in his tracks at hearing the familiar voice coming from behind him. He slowly turned to see his dear friend, Pinako, standing behind him. She was still as sharp as ever with her customary pipe hanging from her lips. Their years had taken their toll on Pinako, lining her face with deep wrinkles, and it reminded Hohenheim just how different he was from everyone, even his children.
“Pinako,” he said simply in his deep voice.
“So it is you. You haven’t changed.”
Hohenheim ignored the comment. “How are Trisha and the boys?”
Pinako just frowned. “I wasn’t sure if word had reached you. Trisha died…about ten years ago. Ed and Al…well, they took after you.”
“They learned alchemy,” Hohenheim simply stated, trying to hide the shock and deep sadness he was now feeling.
Pinako made a sound of disapproval deep in her throat. “Yes…and they tried human transmutation.”
Fear struck Hohenheim in the heart, and he immediately felt guilt, anger, and sorrow overwhelm him all at once. “So, they did it.”
“I’m afraid so. They thought they could bring their mother back. They failed and Ed lost an arm and leg for that. Al lost his entire body and his soul is attached to armor now. How Edward managed that, I don’t know. Ed became a State Alchemist and when they left about four years ago, they burned the house down.”
Hohenheim turned to look toward the hill where his home should have been standing with his wife and young sons waiting for him. Hohenheim didn’t know what to say. He knew he should’ve been there for Trisha and the boys, especially when she had died. He knew if he had been there, he could’ve stopped Ed and Al from committing such a disastrous deed. He sighed…the attempt at human transmutation sounded more like Edward’s idea than Al’s. Hohenheim knew this because it sounded like something he may have attempted at a young age, and he was convinced in the little time that he spent with his sons, that Edward was the most like him.
Even if I had been there…there’s no guarantee that Edward would’ve listened to me, Hohenheim thought to himself. After all, he was headstrong himself, and he was certain this was a trait that Edward had inherited.
“How long are you going to be here?”
“Just for the night,” Hohenheim replied.
“You’re welcome to stay with me since your home is no more. Winry and the boys are in Central, and I don’t expect them to come tonight while you’re here.”
“In Central by themselves?” Hohenheim questioned.
“Well, not exactly,” Pinako began. “Now that Edward is a State Alchemist, I’m sure he’s being carefully watched by the military.
But that doesn’t matter. Edward and Alphonse are no longer children, Hohenheim. Not since that night. They had to grow up pretty fast.”
Hohenheim hummed. “Yes…” He paused as he lost himself in his thoughts. A moment passed until he realized that he was keeping Pinako waiting. “You go on ahead. I’ll take you up on your offer. I’m just…going to visit Trisha first.”
Pinako nodded and walked past Hohenheim to continue her trek back home. Hohenheim watched her slowly walk further and further away from him before he continued his journey, now taking a slightly different route. He eventually came to the large graveyard and from the road, he could see Trisha’s headstone. He crossed over onto the grass and trudged slowly toward the marker.
Hohenheim always knew deep down that Trisha would pass before he would. He had always prepared himself for that inevitable day, but he never expected it to be so soon and at such a young age. He felt ineffable sadness envelop him as he let his guilt and grief hit him at once. He knew he should’ve been there for her in her last moments to hold her and comfort her. He knew he should have been a proper father to his sons.
Trisha had been his one love…his only love. He had never known happiness until he had met her in the decades he had lived. He was willing to open his heart and let her in despite the knowledge that he would probably never die or when he did, it would be way beyond Trisha’s lifespan. Then, when she had their sons…he never felt such joy again as those days when his strong, handsome sons came into the world. Now, they were all gone. Trisha, gone from the world too soon, and his boys estranged because he had chosen a more noble cause to take on.
As he let himself mourn quietly over the loss of his wife, Hohenheim barely noticed the passage of time. He heard more footsteps behind him and thought it might have been Pinako. As his ears tuned into the sound of the footfalls, he realized one sounded a little heavier than the other foot. He had an idea of who it was behind him, and he turned to face the familiar gold eyes and blonde hair he had seen years ago before he left.
“Hello, Edward,” he said quietly. He didn’t know what else to say to the son he hadn’t seen in over ten years. “You appear to have grown some.”
Edward looked miffed at his words and scoffed, taking his gaze away from the face of his father and out towards the graveyard. Hohenheim felt extremely awkward. He could tell his son was angry at him, and he knew Edward had every right to feel that way. Pinako is right…he is no longer a child, Hohenheim thought with a shred of melancholy. I suppose I have to treat him as such.
“I spoke with Pinako,” he began. He noted that Edward’s gaze was drawn back up to him in a cautious expression. “You tried human transmutation.”
Edward’s eyes widened, and Hohenheim could see little beads of perspiration on his son’s face. At least he knew his son wouldn’t deny it. He felt that Edward was expecting a lecture or an explosion of fury, and he could sense a little fear in the teen’s expression. The fear was quickly replaced with anger and before Hohenheim could continue, Edward spoke.
“What makes you think you can show up like this? There’s nothing left here for you anymore!”
“I noticed,” Hohenheim said calmly, dispelling Edward’s anger quickly. “Tell me, Edward…what possessed you to burn down my home?”
Edward seemed taken aback by Hohenheim’s calm demeanor, and the tension in him seemed to dissipate a little at being given the chance to explain himself. “After what happened, we vowed to never turn back. We did it as a symbol of our resolve.”
“No you didn’t,” Hohenheim snapped. He felt that what stood before him wasn’t an adult like Pinako said, but a child. He approached his son to close the gap between them. “You were hiding the memory. You didn’t want to be reminded of what you’d done and thought you could erase the memory by destroying the evidence.”
The resentment and fear came back to Edward. “You’re wrong!”
Hohenheim knew he was striking a cord within his son, and making him face the truth of his actions instead of leaning on the fairytale story he had concocted and probably told many others. If Edward wanted to act like an adult, well, then he needed to face reality like one. Hohenheim felt he was doing Edward a favor for doing this and hoped Edward would understand.
“It’s just like a child who hides the sheets after he wets the bed. You ran away and you know it.”
Hohenheim knew he was being blunt, but he could tell by his son’s horrified expression that his words were getting through to him. Hohenheim needed Edward to understand the depth of his mistake and to face it head on. Only then could Edward really come to terms with what he had lost that night. Hohenheim saw the rage fill Edward once more, and the teen turned, stalking off away from him.
“You don’t know a damn thing!” he yelled as he continued to walk away. “You make me sick to my stomach!” he muttered.
Hohenheim watched Edward go, sorrow creeping over him once more. In retrospect, he considered that scolding Edward in that fashion was not the best way to go, and it probably did more to damage their relationship. Hohenheim sighed.
“He’s just like I was when I was his age,” he said quietly.
Despite the tough exterior, Hohenheim knew that deep down, Edward was still a child: a scared child who was having trouble dealing with all the guilt, sorrow, and pain from that night. Hohenheim knew he had effectively severed any chance of having any further conversation with Edward, and he had some information for him that he needed to know. At the same time, Hohenheim knew that he couldn’t just tell Edward. There was so much hatred between them that anything Hohenheim said would be discounted. He needed to find a way to tell Edward what he knew that would ease his suffering without inciting the rage that was instilled in him. With that, Hohenheim began the trek to the Rockbell home, thinking of ways he could share his knowledge with his headstrong, angry son.
* * * * *
Dinner had been a quiet affair. Edward did all he could to avoid eye contact or any conversation with Hohenheim. Hohenheim was hurt by this, but he also knew this was the child in Edward acting out against an adult who had challenged his belief that he was an adult and was handling life as such. As soon as Edward had eaten his fill, he got up from the table and took his dishes to the kitchen. He then came back out and began walking toward a bedroom.
“I’m going to bed, granny,” he stated.
“Alright, Ed. Good night.”
An hour or two had passed since Edward had shut the door and blocked them out from his world. Hohenheim kept finding himself looking toward the door, desiring to have a moment with Edward as a father would have with his young son. Pinako seemed to pick up on this obsession with the closed door.
“Go see him,” she offered.
Hohenheim hesitated. He acknowledged that he wanted to have some sort of contact with Edward, but he also knew he would be unwelcomed. He sat there for a few indecisive minutes before he stood. Pinako smiled knowingly as he marched to the door and opened it carefully to prevent any noise that might wake Edward. The room was dark, and from the light of the kerosene lamp, he could see a form lying on the twin sized bed, covered with a light blue blanket. Hohenheim found himself smiling fondly on his oldest son.
Despite your mistake, you have done so many things that not many your age could say they did. Your proficiency in alchemy makes me proud, he thought as he crossed the floor to stand beside the bed. He looked down at his sleeping son, his blonde hair splayed across the pillow and his body moving up and down rhythmically with his breathing. Hohenheim took note of how calm and peaceful Edward looked, and he couldn’t help but to bend down and reach out to place a hand on his son’s hand in a gesture of love and goodwill. He was about to place that hand on Edward’s hand when he saw a muscle twitch in his son’s face. He stopped short.
He’s awake, he thought.
Hohenheim suddenly felt anxious about what kind of reaction his tender touch would garner. He wanted the chance to apologize to Edward for not being there when he should have been, but as much as Hohenheim wanted to think that Edward was still a toddler, he knew that his time to spend with a carefree Edward was long gone. Hohenheim sighed and stood to his full height. He made his way back out the room, closing the door behind him. He lowered his head while still facing the door, and he sighed.
My children…I’m sorry.
Author/Artist: Satai_Aalann (a.k.a. Sabina-san)
Character/Pairing: Von Hohenheim
Fandom: FullMetal Alchemist
Genre: Angst
A/N: None of the characters belong to me. They belong to Hiromu Arakawa. There are spoilers for those who haven’t seen Episode 20 of Brotherhood. Some of the lines from the episode were borrowed, but everything else is my own writing.
Theme: #12 Children
The trip to Resembool on the train had been a long, arduous one for the man with long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and gold eyes hidden behind a pair of thin glasses. Even though he had endured a long train ride, he still had a long walk ahead of him. At least the sky was clear without any sign of rain. It would make the walk from the train station to the Elric home a little easier because he wouldn’t have muddy roads to contend with.
Hohenheim stretched and adjusted his glasses so that he could see clearly. The train had just departed for its next stop from the Risembool station, and the winding road faced him. His limbs felt stiff from the jolting ride on wooden seats, which made him not want to move any further, but Hohenheim sighed with determination. Soon, he would be home.
The road was quiet like it usually was which Hohenheim found comforting after having to race around Amestris for so long to prepare everything for the inevitable future. After taking a few deep breaths of the sweet, country air tinged with fresh grass, he felt more centered and at peace.
“Is that you?”
Hohenheim stopped in his tracks at hearing the familiar voice coming from behind him. He slowly turned to see his dear friend, Pinako, standing behind him. She was still as sharp as ever with her customary pipe hanging from her lips. Their years had taken their toll on Pinako, lining her face with deep wrinkles, and it reminded Hohenheim just how different he was from everyone, even his children.
“Pinako,” he said simply in his deep voice.
“So it is you. You haven’t changed.”
Hohenheim ignored the comment. “How are Trisha and the boys?”
Pinako just frowned. “I wasn’t sure if word had reached you. Trisha died…about ten years ago. Ed and Al…well, they took after you.”
“They learned alchemy,” Hohenheim simply stated, trying to hide the shock and deep sadness he was now feeling.
Pinako made a sound of disapproval deep in her throat. “Yes…and they tried human transmutation.”
Fear struck Hohenheim in the heart, and he immediately felt guilt, anger, and sorrow overwhelm him all at once. “So, they did it.”
“I’m afraid so. They thought they could bring their mother back. They failed and Ed lost an arm and leg for that. Al lost his entire body and his soul is attached to armor now. How Edward managed that, I don’t know. Ed became a State Alchemist and when they left about four years ago, they burned the house down.”
Hohenheim turned to look toward the hill where his home should have been standing with his wife and young sons waiting for him. Hohenheim didn’t know what to say. He knew he should’ve been there for Trisha and the boys, especially when she had died. He knew if he had been there, he could’ve stopped Ed and Al from committing such a disastrous deed. He sighed…the attempt at human transmutation sounded more like Edward’s idea than Al’s. Hohenheim knew this because it sounded like something he may have attempted at a young age, and he was convinced in the little time that he spent with his sons, that Edward was the most like him.
Even if I had been there…there’s no guarantee that Edward would’ve listened to me, Hohenheim thought to himself. After all, he was headstrong himself, and he was certain this was a trait that Edward had inherited.
“How long are you going to be here?”
“Just for the night,” Hohenheim replied.
“You’re welcome to stay with me since your home is no more. Winry and the boys are in Central, and I don’t expect them to come tonight while you’re here.”
“In Central by themselves?” Hohenheim questioned.
“Well, not exactly,” Pinako began. “Now that Edward is a State Alchemist, I’m sure he’s being carefully watched by the military.
But that doesn’t matter. Edward and Alphonse are no longer children, Hohenheim. Not since that night. They had to grow up pretty fast.”
Hohenheim hummed. “Yes…” He paused as he lost himself in his thoughts. A moment passed until he realized that he was keeping Pinako waiting. “You go on ahead. I’ll take you up on your offer. I’m just…going to visit Trisha first.”
Pinako nodded and walked past Hohenheim to continue her trek back home. Hohenheim watched her slowly walk further and further away from him before he continued his journey, now taking a slightly different route. He eventually came to the large graveyard and from the road, he could see Trisha’s headstone. He crossed over onto the grass and trudged slowly toward the marker.
Hohenheim always knew deep down that Trisha would pass before he would. He had always prepared himself for that inevitable day, but he never expected it to be so soon and at such a young age. He felt ineffable sadness envelop him as he let his guilt and grief hit him at once. He knew he should’ve been there for her in her last moments to hold her and comfort her. He knew he should have been a proper father to his sons.
Trisha had been his one love…his only love. He had never known happiness until he had met her in the decades he had lived. He was willing to open his heart and let her in despite the knowledge that he would probably never die or when he did, it would be way beyond Trisha’s lifespan. Then, when she had their sons…he never felt such joy again as those days when his strong, handsome sons came into the world. Now, they were all gone. Trisha, gone from the world too soon, and his boys estranged because he had chosen a more noble cause to take on.
As he let himself mourn quietly over the loss of his wife, Hohenheim barely noticed the passage of time. He heard more footsteps behind him and thought it might have been Pinako. As his ears tuned into the sound of the footfalls, he realized one sounded a little heavier than the other foot. He had an idea of who it was behind him, and he turned to face the familiar gold eyes and blonde hair he had seen years ago before he left.
“Hello, Edward,” he said quietly. He didn’t know what else to say to the son he hadn’t seen in over ten years. “You appear to have grown some.”
Edward looked miffed at his words and scoffed, taking his gaze away from the face of his father and out towards the graveyard. Hohenheim felt extremely awkward. He could tell his son was angry at him, and he knew Edward had every right to feel that way. Pinako is right…he is no longer a child, Hohenheim thought with a shred of melancholy. I suppose I have to treat him as such.
“I spoke with Pinako,” he began. He noted that Edward’s gaze was drawn back up to him in a cautious expression. “You tried human transmutation.”
Edward’s eyes widened, and Hohenheim could see little beads of perspiration on his son’s face. At least he knew his son wouldn’t deny it. He felt that Edward was expecting a lecture or an explosion of fury, and he could sense a little fear in the teen’s expression. The fear was quickly replaced with anger and before Hohenheim could continue, Edward spoke.
“What makes you think you can show up like this? There’s nothing left here for you anymore!”
“I noticed,” Hohenheim said calmly, dispelling Edward’s anger quickly. “Tell me, Edward…what possessed you to burn down my home?”
Edward seemed taken aback by Hohenheim’s calm demeanor, and the tension in him seemed to dissipate a little at being given the chance to explain himself. “After what happened, we vowed to never turn back. We did it as a symbol of our resolve.”
“No you didn’t,” Hohenheim snapped. He felt that what stood before him wasn’t an adult like Pinako said, but a child. He approached his son to close the gap between them. “You were hiding the memory. You didn’t want to be reminded of what you’d done and thought you could erase the memory by destroying the evidence.”
The resentment and fear came back to Edward. “You’re wrong!”
Hohenheim knew he was striking a cord within his son, and making him face the truth of his actions instead of leaning on the fairytale story he had concocted and probably told many others. If Edward wanted to act like an adult, well, then he needed to face reality like one. Hohenheim felt he was doing Edward a favor for doing this and hoped Edward would understand.
“It’s just like a child who hides the sheets after he wets the bed. You ran away and you know it.”
Hohenheim knew he was being blunt, but he could tell by his son’s horrified expression that his words were getting through to him. Hohenheim needed Edward to understand the depth of his mistake and to face it head on. Only then could Edward really come to terms with what he had lost that night. Hohenheim saw the rage fill Edward once more, and the teen turned, stalking off away from him.
“You don’t know a damn thing!” he yelled as he continued to walk away. “You make me sick to my stomach!” he muttered.
Hohenheim watched Edward go, sorrow creeping over him once more. In retrospect, he considered that scolding Edward in that fashion was not the best way to go, and it probably did more to damage their relationship. Hohenheim sighed.
“He’s just like I was when I was his age,” he said quietly.
Despite the tough exterior, Hohenheim knew that deep down, Edward was still a child: a scared child who was having trouble dealing with all the guilt, sorrow, and pain from that night. Hohenheim knew he had effectively severed any chance of having any further conversation with Edward, and he had some information for him that he needed to know. At the same time, Hohenheim knew that he couldn’t just tell Edward. There was so much hatred between them that anything Hohenheim said would be discounted. He needed to find a way to tell Edward what he knew that would ease his suffering without inciting the rage that was instilled in him. With that, Hohenheim began the trek to the Rockbell home, thinking of ways he could share his knowledge with his headstrong, angry son.
* * * * *
Dinner had been a quiet affair. Edward did all he could to avoid eye contact or any conversation with Hohenheim. Hohenheim was hurt by this, but he also knew this was the child in Edward acting out against an adult who had challenged his belief that he was an adult and was handling life as such. As soon as Edward had eaten his fill, he got up from the table and took his dishes to the kitchen. He then came back out and began walking toward a bedroom.
“I’m going to bed, granny,” he stated.
“Alright, Ed. Good night.”
An hour or two had passed since Edward had shut the door and blocked them out from his world. Hohenheim kept finding himself looking toward the door, desiring to have a moment with Edward as a father would have with his young son. Pinako seemed to pick up on this obsession with the closed door.
“Go see him,” she offered.
Hohenheim hesitated. He acknowledged that he wanted to have some sort of contact with Edward, but he also knew he would be unwelcomed. He sat there for a few indecisive minutes before he stood. Pinako smiled knowingly as he marched to the door and opened it carefully to prevent any noise that might wake Edward. The room was dark, and from the light of the kerosene lamp, he could see a form lying on the twin sized bed, covered with a light blue blanket. Hohenheim found himself smiling fondly on his oldest son.
Despite your mistake, you have done so many things that not many your age could say they did. Your proficiency in alchemy makes me proud, he thought as he crossed the floor to stand beside the bed. He looked down at his sleeping son, his blonde hair splayed across the pillow and his body moving up and down rhythmically with his breathing. Hohenheim took note of how calm and peaceful Edward looked, and he couldn’t help but to bend down and reach out to place a hand on his son’s hand in a gesture of love and goodwill. He was about to place that hand on Edward’s hand when he saw a muscle twitch in his son’s face. He stopped short.
He’s awake, he thought.
Hohenheim suddenly felt anxious about what kind of reaction his tender touch would garner. He wanted the chance to apologize to Edward for not being there when he should have been, but as much as Hohenheim wanted to think that Edward was still a toddler, he knew that his time to spend with a carefree Edward was long gone. Hohenheim sighed and stood to his full height. He made his way back out the room, closing the door behind him. He lowered his head while still facing the door, and he sighed.
My children…I’m sorry.