The Onion
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds
Quote: "Particularly distressing to many was the relative proximity of the broadcast source. "50,000 light years is, from a galactic standpoint, around the corner," said Dr. Richard Gray of the Extraterrestrial Intelligence Foundation. "In the cosmic cafeteria, they're sitting right at our table. It's totally embarrassing. Even if we ignore them, who's to say they won't keep transmitting to us? And if there are other lifeforms out there, they may actually think we're friends."
Transgendered Sea Anemone Denounced As 'Abomination' By Clergy
Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds
Quote: "Particularly distressing to many was the relative proximity of the broadcast source. "50,000 light years is, from a galactic standpoint, around the corner," said Dr. Richard Gray of the Extraterrestrial Intelligence Foundation. "In the cosmic cafeteria, they're sitting right at our table. It's totally embarrassing. Even if we ignore them, who's to say they won't keep transmitting to us? And if there are other lifeforms out there, they may actually think we're friends."
Transgendered Sea Anemone Denounced As 'Abomination' By Clergy