Fic: We Are Outnumbered -Chapter 6
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon,
POV: First (Ryan's)
Summary: The virus has completely devastated over 150 of the world’s major regions and is spreading rapidly. At this point in time we know of only one method of killing the creatures: destroy the brain. Be on the guard of any loved ones who may have recently been in any sort of contact and could be infected. And if you find yourself in a threatened position, please do not hesitate to act. Again. This is not a test. This is not a joke. We as a species are overwhelmed. We are outnumbered. The world is about to change as Ryan knows it, but can he and Brendon survive the change? Or will they soon end up like the majority of the population?
Author's Note: Rated NC-17 for sex, violence, character death, gore. So heed this as a warning I suppose.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
I shake the thought from my head as Brendon and I arrive to the furniture section of the store. I scan around the area and notice the beds, immediately feeling the fatigue from the day set in. We hadn’t even done much, but it feels like I had run a fucking marathon. I drop Brendon’s hand and move to the bed, throwing myself face up onto the display comforter. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it sure beats the hell out of the backseat of a car.
I feel the bed sink down next to me and turn to see Brendon lying on his stomach next to me, his eyes meeting mine immediately. I adjust my body and face him completely and he cracks a small smile before leaning in and kissing me softly. I return the kiss eagerly, the sleepiness fading away as quickly as it had come.
He pulls away, giving me another small smile and I return it, reaching up to put my hand on his cheek. I stroke his cheek and can’t help but wonder if things would have ended up like this if the situation was different. If people hadn’t gotten affected, where would Brendon and I be? Would we ever have finally gotten to this point? No, probably not.
Brendon seems to give me a few moments alone in my own thoughts before he strokes his fingers down my cheeks again.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, his deep brown eyes expressing genuine concern.
I shrug a little, not entirely sure how to answer at first. What am I thinking about? I’m thinking about how if Brendon and I weren’t in this situation, we probably wouldn’t have ever gotten together. But I can’t very well tell him that. I hate baring my feelings to people, especially towards Brendon. I can’t face criticism from anyone well, let alone him. I can just picture him saying I was stupid to even think like that. That it’s said and done now, so it doesn’t matter either way.
Brendon waits patiently while I think of a way to answer him.
“Well,” I draw out slowly, still trying to come up with something quickly. “I just wish things could be somewhat normal, I guess? Like that we didn’t have to change how everything was before and act like the world is different, you know? I wanna know how life would have continued if this hadn’t happened. Like I don’t want things to be special or treated differently because the fucking apocalypse or whatever the fuck is going on is happening and I just want things to still happen as they would have if this hadn’t happened and…”
I start to ramble and repeat myself a little and watch as Brendon’s eyebrows begin to furrow. Yeah, he has no idea what I’m even trying to get at. I sigh, letting myself trail off into silence.
“Um, wanna run that by me again?” He asks, reaching up to run his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’s had ever since I can even remember. I let out another sigh and refrain from shaking my head. It’s not worth it to try and repeat myself. I don’t even remember half of what tumbled out of my mouth, anyway.
“I just want things as normal as possible I guess. Like how things would be if the end of the world wasn’t happening around us.” Brendon still looks confused and I have to control myself to keep from losing patience. The boy was clearly not good at picking up hints, even if they were spelled out for him. “Can we just like watch a movie or something? Make me feel like it’s somewhat normal life that we’re living right now?”
Brendon’s eyes light up. Finally something he can comprehend I suppose. He gives me a smile and nods.
“Of course, what kind of movie?” His voice is dripping with enthusiasm. This might have been the best idea for a lie I’ve ever had.
“Uh, surprise me,” I say warily as I watch his smile grow even wider. I’m not sure exactly how much he might decide to surprise me, but if he comes back with that stupid musical he made me watch a couple years ago that he belted out every single song to, I swear to God….
“Okay!” He says, jumping up from the bed with such a force that it actually leaves it bouncing for a few seconds. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” And with that, he runs off in search of whatever god forsaken movie his mind insists we have to watch.
“Where would I go anyways?” I mumble to myself, lying back again to look at the ceiling. The ceilings here aren’t too tall. I could probably reach them if I stood up on the bed or another piece of furniture. I should look around sometime and try to find some of those sticky star things that glow in the dark. Maybe it’ll feel more like my room at home then.
No, who am I kidding? It’ll never feel like home. Nothing ever is going to again. No matter what movie Brendon brings back. No matter where we go. Nothing is going to feel or be the same again. Ever.
I roll over onto my stomach and bury my face in the massive pile of display pillows. They smell almost stale from having just sat on an unused bed for so long. Ew, definitely need to make a mental note to wash them or find new ones or something. I should get up and find new pillows while Brendon is off God knows where but I don’t think I could move if I even want to. The fatigue from the day is starting to seep back in and I can feel myself starting to drift off a little just as I hear what must be Brendon returning. I roll over in time to see him walk around in front of a dresser display near the end of the bed holding onto a blue DVD case.
“Hey, I couldn’t find the copy of It’s A Wonderful Life that I wanted so I settled on Finding Nemo. Is that okay?” He looks at me with wide eyes full of anticipation and I can’t help but smile. Out of all the movies he possibly could have chosen from, he picked a children’s movie.
“Uh, Bren, how are we gonna watch it?” I glance around, finally realizing that there isn’t a TV or anything to even watch the movie on.
“I thought about that!” Brendon nearly yells, excited that he was already one step ahead of me apparently. He runs back around behind the dresser display and I sit up and wait.
I hear what sounds like a squeaky grocery cart and soon Brendon is wheeling a giant flat screen TV out on a cart, complete with DVD player and everything. He smiles at me wide, clearly proud of himself on having thought of it already and I can’t help but smile back.
I watch him set up the TV and plug it into one of the outlets located on the floor for light displays. He grabs the DVD off the bed and quickly slides it into the player, directing it to the menu and hitting play before throwing himself back onto the bed and sliding up next to where I’m perched against the headboard.
The opening scene comes in and I let my head fall onto Brendon’s shoulder. He snakes his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in more and leaning his head on top of my own. I sigh happily and snuggle in closer to him.
Brendon trails his fingers up and down my arm and I bite my lip, letting different possible situations start to flood my mind. I think back to the kisses in my room before we had to run. I wonder if Spencer and Jon had run in at that point, if things would have gotten further.
Honestly, maybe it's best they didn't. I mean, I don't want to die a virgin, but I'd probably be so nervous that I'd like do something to hurt Brendon. It probably wasn't a good idea. Then again, I'd have to get over that fear sometime or another. Preferably sooner rather than later.
I send the thought to the back of my mind and focus back in on the movie. It's still not very far in and it's only at the part where Nemo's mom has died and Marlin find's out Nemo is the last egg left.
I can't help but realize how it sort of relates to our current situation. Everyone else is dead or as good as dead at least, and we found what seems to be the last egg, here in a god damn shopping mall. Seriously, if someone had told me when I first watched Finding Nemo that I'd be able to relate to it someday, I probably would have thrown something at their face.
As I focus back in on the movie, I notice that Brendon’s stopped stroking my arm and I shift back a little to look at him and instantly wish I hadn’t. He’s crying, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t want me to see it because once he catches my eye, he moves quickly to wipe his eyes off and sniff a bit.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, still wiping at his eyes to avoid looking at me. “I just… Sorry… Just... This fucking movie…” He gestures wildly at the screen and sniffs again.
I look back at the screen a little confused and glance back at Brendon.
“Um, okay?” I breathe out, not completely understanding exactly what the fuck he means, but I mean if Disney movies really move him to tears, I’m not gonna judge. I for one, often cry during the Lion King every time I watch it. Brendon sighs and shakes his head, so I reach out for his hand and clutch it tightly in my own.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly, stroking his cheek my free hand. “It’s just a movie, honey.”
“No,” Brendon whimpers out, shaking his head again. “It’s not just a movie. Just, I’m scared.”
“Of the movie?”
“No! Not of the movie! This isn’t even about the movie! I’m scared of everything right now! What’s going to happen to us? To life? To our families? To everyone?! Everyone is either dying or good enough as dead. I just want things to go back to normal! This just, it’s just too much, Ryan!” He collapses into sobs, and I’m quick to pull him against my chest.
“Shh,” I soothe, rubbing my hands up and down his back. “It’ll be okay, I promise, Bren. Don’t worry.” I keep making soothing sounds and rub his back until he’s calmed down a fair bit before moving him back to look him in the eye. He gives me a small, sad smile.
“Thanks, Ry,” he breathes out. “I’m just scared, you know?”
“I know, Bren,” I say, hugging him back to me again. “I’m scared, too. We all are.”
He sniffs into the crook of my neck and I feel him wrap his arms around me tighter as if he’s afraid I’m gonna float away or something. We stay like that for a few minutes more before Brendon finally pulls away enough to move up and lean his forehead against mine. I stare into his eyes and give him a soft smile. Brendon smiles back before leaning in and pressing his lips against mine.
I press mine back against his and instantly I’m being pushed onto my back as he straddles my lap, deepening the kiss. I let out a soft grunt in surprise and reach up to tangle my fingers in his dark brown hair, pulling him closer to me.
Brendon grinds himself down onto me hard and I moan, letting my teeth sink into his lip. He must like that because he grinds down even harder, eliciting another moan from me.
Brendon runs the tip of his tongue over my lip before slipping it into my mouth and twisting it around my own. I allow my tongue to move against his, trying to fight for dominance but knowing I’m not going to win. He nips at my tongue softly, sucking it into his mouth even more and I let out another moan, tightening my grip in his hair more.
He slides his hands down my sides, slipping one up my shirt over my stomach and leads the other to my jeans where he fumbles to unbutton them. I quickly detach my lips from his and pull back to stare at him for a moment.
“Exactly how far are we taking this, Bren?” I ask, biting my lip wishing I hadn’t even stopped to mention anything.
“Well,” he leans down and kisses along my jaw. “I was kind of hoping to go all the way maybe?” He ends in a question, almost as if he’s unsure if he was out of place to say something.
I let out a sigh, wiggling slight from the awkwardness.
“Why? How far did you want to take this?” Brendon asks, pulling back to look at me and stroke a hand down my cheek and jaw.
I shrug and look to the side to avoid his gaze.
“Definitely not all the way yet,” I breathe out. I move my gaze back to his. “But, I mean, we can do some stuff. I just… I’d rather wait to go all the way, you know?”
He nods, leaning in quickly to reattach our lips. I kiss back fervently, hoping to somehow make up the lack of me putting out to him. While he’s distracted at sucking on my tongue again, I roll us over so that I’m now straddling him. He giggles and I smirk, deepening our kiss again, my tongue tangling against his and moving them in a sort of rhythm.
I run my hand down his chest to the hem of his shirt, hooking my fingers into it and pulling it up over his head. He tries to do the same to me, but my shirt ends up stuck around my head and I have to help him before I can get back to kissing him. I trail my fingers down over his chest again down to his pants and work on unbuttoning them. It’s enough of a distraction that Brendon’s tongue wins out again in the fight and I let him take over the lead as I focus on pushing his jeans down enough that I can get a hand inside of his pants.
I break the kiss for a moment to run my tongue over my palm quickly before I press my lips to Brendon’s jaw and wrap my hand tightly around his dick. He moans softly and lets his head tilt back more giving me better access to his throat. I press more kisses along the area where his pulse seems to beat strongest and start sliding my hand up and down the length of his cock at a slow pace.
He bucks up into my hand, already wanting more than I’m giving him and I smirk against his skin before letting my teeth nip at it gently. Brendon moans again, his hips bucking again as I increase the pace, twisting my wrist a bit as I reach closer to the head. I thumb over his slit, letting the small drop of precum he’s already produced slick up my hand a bit more.
Brendon’s already starting to pant and I start kissing down his chest and stomach until I’m kneeling between his legs, my mouth poised right above the head of his cock. I’ve never done this before, but it can’t be hard. I’ve seen porn before, so I know the basics I guess.
I flatten my tongue and let it run over his entire length before slowly sliding my lips over his head and letting my tongue flick over his slit. He lets out another moan, bucking into my mouth a little before I have time to pin his hips down with my free arm. I press my arm over his stomach, keeping him pinned to the bed as I slide my lips further down his dick until I feel his head hit the back of my throat. I gag, sliding up a bit and sucking softly as I do.
I feel Brendon’s hands lace into my hair as his panting above me increases and he lets out a soft moan.
“Ry,” he breathes out and that’s all it takes for me to be sure that I’m definitely doing something right. I slide back down, letting him hit the back of my throat again, this time making sure to swallow so I don’t gag. I suck softly again as I slide back up to his head, licking over the slit and letting his precum stain my tongue.
I grip my free hand at his base, sliding it up to meet my mouth and create a rhythm between my mouth and hand. He moans, his fingers tightening in my hair and feel his stomach start to clench under my arm that’s pinning him down.
“So… close…” he pants out, his fingers pulling my hair so hard I think I may be balding in patches by the time this is over. I suck harder, letting my rhythm of hand and mouth motions pick up, wanting to bring him closer to his orgasm faster.
It doesn’t take more than a few more minutes of me twisting my wrist just right and flicking my tongue over the head again before he’s spewing my name mixed with a few profanities from his mouth and spilling down my throat. I let my arm that’s holding him down up, allowing him to buck into my mouth at last as he rides out his orgasm. He stops coming and finally falls back flat onto the bed, his breath still harsh.
I pick up my shirt from where it was discarded and clean him up before tucking his dick back in his pants and collapsing next to him. He looks over at me, a lazy smile plastered across his face as he leans over and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back enthusiastically and am slightly disappointed when pulls away to cuddle into my side, his arms wrapping across my middle.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him to me and soon I feel his breathing even out as he slips into sleep. I focus on the TV, watching as Dory and Marlin try to get out of the whale.
The last thought I have before I fall asleep is that I can’t believe I just gave my blowjob to the most innocent movie of all time. Then again, I guess in what would be considered an apocalypse, now isn’t the best time to be picky over everything.
*********************************************************************
I’m in the forest again, but this time it’s dark and not the bright, cheery green from before. I spin around looking for Spencer, Jon, and Brendon but no one is here.
What the fuck? Where are they? I know how this nightmare goes. Why aren’t they here?
“Hi.”
I spin around again and spot Cate standing next to a man I’ve never seen before. She gives me a small wave and I notice she’s covered in blood. From what I can tell the strange man is clean and completely okay, with the exception of what looks to be a healed over bite mark on the side of his throat. He’s dressed in what appears to be an all-black suit and I can’t help but feel even more apprehensive now than before.
Cate takes another step forward and I snap my attention back to her. She gives me a small smile, revealing a mouth full of teeth coated in crimson. I feel my stomach churn and stumble back a few paces.
What the fuck is going on? This isn’t how the nightmare usually goes.
“You can’t save them, Ryan,” Cate finally says, stepping towards me again. I take another step back but end up pressed against the wall of trees behind me.
“W-what?” I sputter out, glancing back towards the man who hasn’t moved forward with Cate. He seems to just be observing what’s going on and it makes my stomach twist even more. This isn’t right.
“You can’t save them,” she repeats, displaying yet another blood red smile. “You can’t save them. Quit trying. You’re going to fail and they’re all going to die. Maybe even you. Maybe not. Maybe God will decide to let you roam the earth for the rest of your life watching everyone else become walkers, just like He did with him.” She gestures over her shoulder at the man in black whose face grows darker at her words.
“What the fuck are you talking about? What’s going on?” I’m nearly shouting and I let myself drop to the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest.
Cate lets out a laugh that’s more than a bark and walks towards me until she’s close enough that I can smell the metallic scent of the blood on her breath.
“This is it, Ryan. It’s over. Just give up.”
And with that, she leans forward and her teeth sink into my neck right where I know my pulse is the strongest.
Before I can feel the inevitable pain of her teeth piercing into my flesh, I jolt awake and bolt upright, trying to regain my normal breathing rate.
“Fuck,” I pant out, glancing at Brendon and notice he’s still fast asleep, his mouth open as he snores quietly with his arm wrapped tight around my waist.
I run my hands through my sweat soaked hair and groan quietly. Fuck, now I need to shower or something, this is disgusting. I unwrap myself from Brendon’s grip and hop down from the bed, slipping on my shirt and a pair of socks so I don’t have to walk barefoot and half-naked through the mall.
I pad down the aisles back into the main hall of the shopping complex, grabbing a towel and a change of clothes from different shops as I make my way towards the food court. I round the corner, noticing the sign near the ceiling indicating the bathroom and pick up my pace, now even more eager to finally be able to clean myself up. Pushing open the heavy door, I’m greeted with three urinals and 2 putrid green stalls against the wall to my left and at the end of the room I see a set of lockers next to a giant shower room. Perfect.
I shed my clothes quickly, not even bothering to fold them as I chuck them onto the counter next to my clean change of clothing. There’s already a large variety of shampoos and soaps piled in the corner of the shower room, which is great considering I had forgotten to even grab some on my way here.
I stare at the shower knobs for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to even operate it before finally figuring out the damn thing. I switch on the hot water and step under it, shivering a little as it’s colder than I’d have preferred. It’s better than nothing though I guess.
Deciding I’d rather not freeze to death in a shower, I hurry to wash my hair and scrub over my body before switching off the water and wrapping myself in the large, fluffy, white towel I brought with me. I’m still shivering as I pull on my clean clothes and run the towel through my hair. I gather up my dirty clothing and glance around for a place to put them, not wanting to have to haul them around with me. I spot a giant bin that looks full of laundry so I chuck my clothes into it before finally moving back to the door and exiting back into the food court entrance.
As soon as I step out of the door I run smack into Cate, causing both her and I to end up sprawled out on the floor.
“Sorry,” we both mutter out at the same time and we both laugh awkwardly. I push myself to my feet and hold out my hand to help her up. She grasps onto my hand, and I pull her back to her feet and watch as she brushes herself off.
“You’re Ryan, right?” She asks, her eyes scanning over my face as if trying to recall it from the rush of names before. I nod and give her a soft smile that she returns. “I’m Cate”
“Yeah, I think I remember that,” I nod, and glance around the food court, noticing Spencer and Frank sitting in the Starbucks dining area. Huh, I wonder where Jon is. I direct my attention back to Cate. “How long have you guys been here anyways?”
“Not very long I don’t think.” She gives a shrug as if she’s not even concerned about it really. “You sort of lose a sense of time when you’re stuck in the same place day after day. We never really get to leave. Yesterday was the first day any of us had left since we’ve been here and we found you. Now Frank’s wondering if we’ve been missing others coming through the city. He’ll probably want to go out more often.”
She lets out a soft sigh and looks down at her feet, shuffling them a little. She can’t be more than 13 and yet she seems to have a grasp on everything that’s going on around here. I mean, I’m not that much older than her at 17, but still… I had no idea how she could come to terms with the fucking end of the world so well.
“How did you guys even end up here? Were you all originally from this city or what?” Before I even finish the question, she’s shaking her head.
“We’re all from New Jersey. We had to leave because the infection started and everyone got sick, and when they turned, we had no choice but to run. Run or become one of them. So we all ran west, hoping maybe it hadn’t spread over here, but it did. Almost worse than it had there…”
“How many of you all were there?” I ask, picturing only her, Frank, Mikey, and the other man Ray, who I hadn’t met yet, running together.
She sighs, giving another shrug.
“We started with a lot, but they died off fast… or disappeared. We’d wake up, and one or two would be gone. It was either that or we had to kill them off.” She looks back at the ground and goes back to shuffling her feet.
“Frank had to kill his boyfriend, Gerard. That was right before we ended up here. I think that’s why Frank decided to stop running. He figured it’d be safer to stay in one place and look for people than risk getting attacked or having to kill more people.” She looks back up to me and I can tell that she’s more than her fair share of horror in her short life so far.
“That’s awful,” I say, thinking about what’d it’d be like if I had to kill Brendon. No way would I be able to ever do that. It’d almost be better to just leave him behind and let him turn on his own, than have to be the one to end it all for him. I’d rather know he’s out there somewhat alive than know I was the one who killed him.
“Yeah,” she says, giving yet another shrug. “It was necessary. You do what you have to stay alive.”
She is right, as blunt as it is. It almost shocks me that a little girl could have a better grasp on what is really going on here than me. She knows what it took to survive. I don’t. God, it’s like being in a horror movie and watching the dumbass character that does all the stupid shit that you know is just going to get them killed. Except, this is real life, and I’m that character. If I don’t get my shit together soon, I’m going to end up dead.
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon,
POV: First (Ryan's)
Summary: The virus has completely devastated over 150 of the world’s major regions and is spreading rapidly. At this point in time we know of only one method of killing the creatures: destroy the brain. Be on the guard of any loved ones who may have recently been in any sort of contact and could be infected. And if you find yourself in a threatened position, please do not hesitate to act. Again. This is not a test. This is not a joke. We as a species are overwhelmed. We are outnumbered. The world is about to change as Ryan knows it, but can he and Brendon survive the change? Or will they soon end up like the majority of the population?
Author's Note: Rated NC-17 for sex, violence, character death, gore. So heed this as a warning I suppose.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction. I don't own the characters. I'm only responsible for the plot line.
I shake the thought from my head as Brendon and I arrive to the furniture section of the store. I scan around the area and notice the beds, immediately feeling the fatigue from the day set in. We hadn’t even done much, but it feels like I had run a fucking marathon. I drop Brendon’s hand and move to the bed, throwing myself face up onto the display comforter. Not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it sure beats the hell out of the backseat of a car.
I feel the bed sink down next to me and turn to see Brendon lying on his stomach next to me, his eyes meeting mine immediately. I adjust my body and face him completely and he cracks a small smile before leaning in and kissing me softly. I return the kiss eagerly, the sleepiness fading away as quickly as it had come.
He pulls away, giving me another small smile and I return it, reaching up to put my hand on his cheek. I stroke his cheek and can’t help but wonder if things would have ended up like this if the situation was different. If people hadn’t gotten affected, where would Brendon and I be? Would we ever have finally gotten to this point? No, probably not.
Brendon seems to give me a few moments alone in my own thoughts before he strokes his fingers down my cheeks again.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, his deep brown eyes expressing genuine concern.
I shrug a little, not entirely sure how to answer at first. What am I thinking about? I’m thinking about how if Brendon and I weren’t in this situation, we probably wouldn’t have ever gotten together. But I can’t very well tell him that. I hate baring my feelings to people, especially towards Brendon. I can’t face criticism from anyone well, let alone him. I can just picture him saying I was stupid to even think like that. That it’s said and done now, so it doesn’t matter either way.
Brendon waits patiently while I think of a way to answer him.
“Well,” I draw out slowly, still trying to come up with something quickly. “I just wish things could be somewhat normal, I guess? Like that we didn’t have to change how everything was before and act like the world is different, you know? I wanna know how life would have continued if this hadn’t happened. Like I don’t want things to be special or treated differently because the fucking apocalypse or whatever the fuck is going on is happening and I just want things to still happen as they would have if this hadn’t happened and…”
I start to ramble and repeat myself a little and watch as Brendon’s eyebrows begin to furrow. Yeah, he has no idea what I’m even trying to get at. I sigh, letting myself trail off into silence.
“Um, wanna run that by me again?” He asks, reaching up to run his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’s had ever since I can even remember. I let out another sigh and refrain from shaking my head. It’s not worth it to try and repeat myself. I don’t even remember half of what tumbled out of my mouth, anyway.
“I just want things as normal as possible I guess. Like how things would be if the end of the world wasn’t happening around us.” Brendon still looks confused and I have to control myself to keep from losing patience. The boy was clearly not good at picking up hints, even if they were spelled out for him. “Can we just like watch a movie or something? Make me feel like it’s somewhat normal life that we’re living right now?”
Brendon’s eyes light up. Finally something he can comprehend I suppose. He gives me a smile and nods.
“Of course, what kind of movie?” His voice is dripping with enthusiasm. This might have been the best idea for a lie I’ve ever had.
“Uh, surprise me,” I say warily as I watch his smile grow even wider. I’m not sure exactly how much he might decide to surprise me, but if he comes back with that stupid musical he made me watch a couple years ago that he belted out every single song to, I swear to God….
“Okay!” He says, jumping up from the bed with such a force that it actually leaves it bouncing for a few seconds. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” And with that, he runs off in search of whatever god forsaken movie his mind insists we have to watch.
“Where would I go anyways?” I mumble to myself, lying back again to look at the ceiling. The ceilings here aren’t too tall. I could probably reach them if I stood up on the bed or another piece of furniture. I should look around sometime and try to find some of those sticky star things that glow in the dark. Maybe it’ll feel more like my room at home then.
No, who am I kidding? It’ll never feel like home. Nothing ever is going to again. No matter what movie Brendon brings back. No matter where we go. Nothing is going to feel or be the same again. Ever.
I roll over onto my stomach and bury my face in the massive pile of display pillows. They smell almost stale from having just sat on an unused bed for so long. Ew, definitely need to make a mental note to wash them or find new ones or something. I should get up and find new pillows while Brendon is off God knows where but I don’t think I could move if I even want to. The fatigue from the day is starting to seep back in and I can feel myself starting to drift off a little just as I hear what must be Brendon returning. I roll over in time to see him walk around in front of a dresser display near the end of the bed holding onto a blue DVD case.
“Hey, I couldn’t find the copy of It’s A Wonderful Life that I wanted so I settled on Finding Nemo. Is that okay?” He looks at me with wide eyes full of anticipation and I can’t help but smile. Out of all the movies he possibly could have chosen from, he picked a children’s movie.
“Uh, Bren, how are we gonna watch it?” I glance around, finally realizing that there isn’t a TV or anything to even watch the movie on.
“I thought about that!” Brendon nearly yells, excited that he was already one step ahead of me apparently. He runs back around behind the dresser display and I sit up and wait.
I hear what sounds like a squeaky grocery cart and soon Brendon is wheeling a giant flat screen TV out on a cart, complete with DVD player and everything. He smiles at me wide, clearly proud of himself on having thought of it already and I can’t help but smile back.
I watch him set up the TV and plug it into one of the outlets located on the floor for light displays. He grabs the DVD off the bed and quickly slides it into the player, directing it to the menu and hitting play before throwing himself back onto the bed and sliding up next to where I’m perched against the headboard.
The opening scene comes in and I let my head fall onto Brendon’s shoulder. He snakes his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in more and leaning his head on top of my own. I sigh happily and snuggle in closer to him.
Brendon trails his fingers up and down my arm and I bite my lip, letting different possible situations start to flood my mind. I think back to the kisses in my room before we had to run. I wonder if Spencer and Jon had run in at that point, if things would have gotten further.
Honestly, maybe it's best they didn't. I mean, I don't want to die a virgin, but I'd probably be so nervous that I'd like do something to hurt Brendon. It probably wasn't a good idea. Then again, I'd have to get over that fear sometime or another. Preferably sooner rather than later.
I send the thought to the back of my mind and focus back in on the movie. It's still not very far in and it's only at the part where Nemo's mom has died and Marlin find's out Nemo is the last egg left.
I can't help but realize how it sort of relates to our current situation. Everyone else is dead or as good as dead at least, and we found what seems to be the last egg, here in a god damn shopping mall. Seriously, if someone had told me when I first watched Finding Nemo that I'd be able to relate to it someday, I probably would have thrown something at their face.
As I focus back in on the movie, I notice that Brendon’s stopped stroking my arm and I shift back a little to look at him and instantly wish I hadn’t. He’s crying, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t want me to see it because once he catches my eye, he moves quickly to wipe his eyes off and sniff a bit.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, still wiping at his eyes to avoid looking at me. “I just… Sorry… Just... This fucking movie…” He gestures wildly at the screen and sniffs again.
I look back at the screen a little confused and glance back at Brendon.
“Um, okay?” I breathe out, not completely understanding exactly what the fuck he means, but I mean if Disney movies really move him to tears, I’m not gonna judge. I for one, often cry during the Lion King every time I watch it. Brendon sighs and shakes his head, so I reach out for his hand and clutch it tightly in my own.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly, stroking his cheek my free hand. “It’s just a movie, honey.”
“No,” Brendon whimpers out, shaking his head again. “It’s not just a movie. Just, I’m scared.”
“Of the movie?”
“No! Not of the movie! This isn’t even about the movie! I’m scared of everything right now! What’s going to happen to us? To life? To our families? To everyone?! Everyone is either dying or good enough as dead. I just want things to go back to normal! This just, it’s just too much, Ryan!” He collapses into sobs, and I’m quick to pull him against my chest.
“Shh,” I soothe, rubbing my hands up and down his back. “It’ll be okay, I promise, Bren. Don’t worry.” I keep making soothing sounds and rub his back until he’s calmed down a fair bit before moving him back to look him in the eye. He gives me a small, sad smile.
“Thanks, Ry,” he breathes out. “I’m just scared, you know?”
“I know, Bren,” I say, hugging him back to me again. “I’m scared, too. We all are.”
He sniffs into the crook of my neck and I feel him wrap his arms around me tighter as if he’s afraid I’m gonna float away or something. We stay like that for a few minutes more before Brendon finally pulls away enough to move up and lean his forehead against mine. I stare into his eyes and give him a soft smile. Brendon smiles back before leaning in and pressing his lips against mine.
I press mine back against his and instantly I’m being pushed onto my back as he straddles my lap, deepening the kiss. I let out a soft grunt in surprise and reach up to tangle my fingers in his dark brown hair, pulling him closer to me.
Brendon grinds himself down onto me hard and I moan, letting my teeth sink into his lip. He must like that because he grinds down even harder, eliciting another moan from me.
Brendon runs the tip of his tongue over my lip before slipping it into my mouth and twisting it around my own. I allow my tongue to move against his, trying to fight for dominance but knowing I’m not going to win. He nips at my tongue softly, sucking it into his mouth even more and I let out another moan, tightening my grip in his hair more.
He slides his hands down my sides, slipping one up my shirt over my stomach and leads the other to my jeans where he fumbles to unbutton them. I quickly detach my lips from his and pull back to stare at him for a moment.
“Exactly how far are we taking this, Bren?” I ask, biting my lip wishing I hadn’t even stopped to mention anything.
“Well,” he leans down and kisses along my jaw. “I was kind of hoping to go all the way maybe?” He ends in a question, almost as if he’s unsure if he was out of place to say something.
I let out a sigh, wiggling slight from the awkwardness.
“Why? How far did you want to take this?” Brendon asks, pulling back to look at me and stroke a hand down my cheek and jaw.
I shrug and look to the side to avoid his gaze.
“Definitely not all the way yet,” I breathe out. I move my gaze back to his. “But, I mean, we can do some stuff. I just… I’d rather wait to go all the way, you know?”
He nods, leaning in quickly to reattach our lips. I kiss back fervently, hoping to somehow make up the lack of me putting out to him. While he’s distracted at sucking on my tongue again, I roll us over so that I’m now straddling him. He giggles and I smirk, deepening our kiss again, my tongue tangling against his and moving them in a sort of rhythm.
I run my hand down his chest to the hem of his shirt, hooking my fingers into it and pulling it up over his head. He tries to do the same to me, but my shirt ends up stuck around my head and I have to help him before I can get back to kissing him. I trail my fingers down over his chest again down to his pants and work on unbuttoning them. It’s enough of a distraction that Brendon’s tongue wins out again in the fight and I let him take over the lead as I focus on pushing his jeans down enough that I can get a hand inside of his pants.
I break the kiss for a moment to run my tongue over my palm quickly before I press my lips to Brendon’s jaw and wrap my hand tightly around his dick. He moans softly and lets his head tilt back more giving me better access to his throat. I press more kisses along the area where his pulse seems to beat strongest and start sliding my hand up and down the length of his cock at a slow pace.
He bucks up into my hand, already wanting more than I’m giving him and I smirk against his skin before letting my teeth nip at it gently. Brendon moans again, his hips bucking again as I increase the pace, twisting my wrist a bit as I reach closer to the head. I thumb over his slit, letting the small drop of precum he’s already produced slick up my hand a bit more.
Brendon’s already starting to pant and I start kissing down his chest and stomach until I’m kneeling between his legs, my mouth poised right above the head of his cock. I’ve never done this before, but it can’t be hard. I’ve seen porn before, so I know the basics I guess.
I flatten my tongue and let it run over his entire length before slowly sliding my lips over his head and letting my tongue flick over his slit. He lets out another moan, bucking into my mouth a little before I have time to pin his hips down with my free arm. I press my arm over his stomach, keeping him pinned to the bed as I slide my lips further down his dick until I feel his head hit the back of my throat. I gag, sliding up a bit and sucking softly as I do.
I feel Brendon’s hands lace into my hair as his panting above me increases and he lets out a soft moan.
“Ry,” he breathes out and that’s all it takes for me to be sure that I’m definitely doing something right. I slide back down, letting him hit the back of my throat again, this time making sure to swallow so I don’t gag. I suck softly again as I slide back up to his head, licking over the slit and letting his precum stain my tongue.
I grip my free hand at his base, sliding it up to meet my mouth and create a rhythm between my mouth and hand. He moans, his fingers tightening in my hair and feel his stomach start to clench under my arm that’s pinning him down.
“So… close…” he pants out, his fingers pulling my hair so hard I think I may be balding in patches by the time this is over. I suck harder, letting my rhythm of hand and mouth motions pick up, wanting to bring him closer to his orgasm faster.
It doesn’t take more than a few more minutes of me twisting my wrist just right and flicking my tongue over the head again before he’s spewing my name mixed with a few profanities from his mouth and spilling down my throat. I let my arm that’s holding him down up, allowing him to buck into my mouth at last as he rides out his orgasm. He stops coming and finally falls back flat onto the bed, his breath still harsh.
I pick up my shirt from where it was discarded and clean him up before tucking his dick back in his pants and collapsing next to him. He looks over at me, a lazy smile plastered across his face as he leans over and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back enthusiastically and am slightly disappointed when pulls away to cuddle into my side, his arms wrapping across my middle.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him to me and soon I feel his breathing even out as he slips into sleep. I focus on the TV, watching as Dory and Marlin try to get out of the whale.
The last thought I have before I fall asleep is that I can’t believe I just gave my blowjob to the most innocent movie of all time. Then again, I guess in what would be considered an apocalypse, now isn’t the best time to be picky over everything.
*********************************************************************
I’m in the forest again, but this time it’s dark and not the bright, cheery green from before. I spin around looking for Spencer, Jon, and Brendon but no one is here.
What the fuck? Where are they? I know how this nightmare goes. Why aren’t they here?
“Hi.”
I spin around again and spot Cate standing next to a man I’ve never seen before. She gives me a small wave and I notice she’s covered in blood. From what I can tell the strange man is clean and completely okay, with the exception of what looks to be a healed over bite mark on the side of his throat. He’s dressed in what appears to be an all-black suit and I can’t help but feel even more apprehensive now than before.
Cate takes another step forward and I snap my attention back to her. She gives me a small smile, revealing a mouth full of teeth coated in crimson. I feel my stomach churn and stumble back a few paces.
What the fuck is going on? This isn’t how the nightmare usually goes.
“You can’t save them, Ryan,” Cate finally says, stepping towards me again. I take another step back but end up pressed against the wall of trees behind me.
“W-what?” I sputter out, glancing back towards the man who hasn’t moved forward with Cate. He seems to just be observing what’s going on and it makes my stomach twist even more. This isn’t right.
“You can’t save them,” she repeats, displaying yet another blood red smile. “You can’t save them. Quit trying. You’re going to fail and they’re all going to die. Maybe even you. Maybe not. Maybe God will decide to let you roam the earth for the rest of your life watching everyone else become walkers, just like He did with him.” She gestures over her shoulder at the man in black whose face grows darker at her words.
“What the fuck are you talking about? What’s going on?” I’m nearly shouting and I let myself drop to the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest.
Cate lets out a laugh that’s more than a bark and walks towards me until she’s close enough that I can smell the metallic scent of the blood on her breath.
“This is it, Ryan. It’s over. Just give up.”
And with that, she leans forward and her teeth sink into my neck right where I know my pulse is the strongest.
Before I can feel the inevitable pain of her teeth piercing into my flesh, I jolt awake and bolt upright, trying to regain my normal breathing rate.
“Fuck,” I pant out, glancing at Brendon and notice he’s still fast asleep, his mouth open as he snores quietly with his arm wrapped tight around my waist.
I run my hands through my sweat soaked hair and groan quietly. Fuck, now I need to shower or something, this is disgusting. I unwrap myself from Brendon’s grip and hop down from the bed, slipping on my shirt and a pair of socks so I don’t have to walk barefoot and half-naked through the mall.
I pad down the aisles back into the main hall of the shopping complex, grabbing a towel and a change of clothes from different shops as I make my way towards the food court. I round the corner, noticing the sign near the ceiling indicating the bathroom and pick up my pace, now even more eager to finally be able to clean myself up. Pushing open the heavy door, I’m greeted with three urinals and 2 putrid green stalls against the wall to my left and at the end of the room I see a set of lockers next to a giant shower room. Perfect.
I shed my clothes quickly, not even bothering to fold them as I chuck them onto the counter next to my clean change of clothing. There’s already a large variety of shampoos and soaps piled in the corner of the shower room, which is great considering I had forgotten to even grab some on my way here.
I stare at the shower knobs for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to even operate it before finally figuring out the damn thing. I switch on the hot water and step under it, shivering a little as it’s colder than I’d have preferred. It’s better than nothing though I guess.
Deciding I’d rather not freeze to death in a shower, I hurry to wash my hair and scrub over my body before switching off the water and wrapping myself in the large, fluffy, white towel I brought with me. I’m still shivering as I pull on my clean clothes and run the towel through my hair. I gather up my dirty clothing and glance around for a place to put them, not wanting to have to haul them around with me. I spot a giant bin that looks full of laundry so I chuck my clothes into it before finally moving back to the door and exiting back into the food court entrance.
As soon as I step out of the door I run smack into Cate, causing both her and I to end up sprawled out on the floor.
“Sorry,” we both mutter out at the same time and we both laugh awkwardly. I push myself to my feet and hold out my hand to help her up. She grasps onto my hand, and I pull her back to her feet and watch as she brushes herself off.
“You’re Ryan, right?” She asks, her eyes scanning over my face as if trying to recall it from the rush of names before. I nod and give her a soft smile that she returns. “I’m Cate”
“Yeah, I think I remember that,” I nod, and glance around the food court, noticing Spencer and Frank sitting in the Starbucks dining area. Huh, I wonder where Jon is. I direct my attention back to Cate. “How long have you guys been here anyways?”
“Not very long I don’t think.” She gives a shrug as if she’s not even concerned about it really. “You sort of lose a sense of time when you’re stuck in the same place day after day. We never really get to leave. Yesterday was the first day any of us had left since we’ve been here and we found you. Now Frank’s wondering if we’ve been missing others coming through the city. He’ll probably want to go out more often.”
She lets out a soft sigh and looks down at her feet, shuffling them a little. She can’t be more than 13 and yet she seems to have a grasp on everything that’s going on around here. I mean, I’m not that much older than her at 17, but still… I had no idea how she could come to terms with the fucking end of the world so well.
“How did you guys even end up here? Were you all originally from this city or what?” Before I even finish the question, she’s shaking her head.
“We’re all from New Jersey. We had to leave because the infection started and everyone got sick, and when they turned, we had no choice but to run. Run or become one of them. So we all ran west, hoping maybe it hadn’t spread over here, but it did. Almost worse than it had there…”
“How many of you all were there?” I ask, picturing only her, Frank, Mikey, and the other man Ray, who I hadn’t met yet, running together.
She sighs, giving another shrug.
“We started with a lot, but they died off fast… or disappeared. We’d wake up, and one or two would be gone. It was either that or we had to kill them off.” She looks back at the ground and goes back to shuffling her feet.
“Frank had to kill his boyfriend, Gerard. That was right before we ended up here. I think that’s why Frank decided to stop running. He figured it’d be safer to stay in one place and look for people than risk getting attacked or having to kill more people.” She looks back up to me and I can tell that she’s more than her fair share of horror in her short life so far.
“That’s awful,” I say, thinking about what’d it’d be like if I had to kill Brendon. No way would I be able to ever do that. It’d almost be better to just leave him behind and let him turn on his own, than have to be the one to end it all for him. I’d rather know he’s out there somewhat alive than know I was the one who killed him.
“Yeah,” she says, giving yet another shrug. “It was necessary. You do what you have to stay alive.”
She is right, as blunt as it is. It almost shocks me that a little girl could have a better grasp on what is really going on here than me. She knows what it took to survive. I don’t. God, it’s like being in a horror movie and watching the dumbass character that does all the stupid shit that you know is just going to get them killed. Except, this is real life, and I’m that character. If I don’t get my shit together soon, I’m going to end up dead.