another poem...sorry guys
I tried to scrub you away
Wash your scent out of the head rest
Vacuum up any trace of you
The last place where I can hold onto you to...
The back seat of that car.
Our eyes locked in that mirror
You smiling your childish grin
While I memorized you,
tracing every detail into my memory
Now I push it away
Finally able to face the fact
you aren't going to be looking back at me
You said it just happened
you had to take the chance with her
you failed to see it just happened to me
i fell in love with you
now i'm paying for it
washing away all those damn promises
Crying every time I rest my head
against the spot where yours once laid
trying to grasp the invisible hand
that touched me so softly
I tried to breath in deeply
the scent of you remaining on your place
trying to recall what you smelled like
while my head laid upon your chest
I let the spring scent of Fabreeze
soak deep into the cusion
Realizing painfully
this was the last shred of you i had left
I fell to my knees when the floral scent hit my senses
Why did it not mean anything to you
the way i smiled to you
how can you let go so easy
knowing how badly i love you
I tried to scour your out of my life
now all i've done was erase bits of you
nothing can stop the tears
when i glance back
and see your illuminating face
slowly fading with that smile
it hurts like hell to let you go
and hurts even worse to watch you go
but whats hurts the worst is you dont care at all
...yeah sorry i miss matt...even if he did treat me like shit. fuck me and leave go figure huh? he's so real now that it just makes it hurt so bad especially everytime i do look in my rearview mirror or ever close my eyes. i tried so freaking hard with him and he gave up on us again. oh well i geuss enough about that. i had to go up to spokane for training yesterday and today and wow was that fun =| i already knew how to do everything so pretty much the classes were so incredibly easy. so this weekend i am sleeping and tomorrow i get back my senior pictures...yay im stoked. i can't wait to see hwo they turned out. unfortunately i gotta work tomorrow how fucking jewish...i work 6 days a week until school starts. i got these two new shirts from the bon but they totaled 80$ i was like YIPES mom you cant spend that she's like why the hell not. it made me feel good because she didnt mind spending it on me but i felt guilty. they'll be nice work shirts. my heart hurts...
¤some people want it all, but i dont want nothing at all if it aint you baby, if i aint got you baby, some people want diamond rings, some just want everything, but everything means nothing if i aint got you¤