Xmas Card!!
I'm done wrapping presents, we have beef burgundy in the crock pot, TWO kinds of popcorn, and we're all set to settle in here for a family game night! WOOT!
What I am posting here was originally my Christmas card to all my friends, which I sent out eariler this month (and sadly, one of my favorite pets probably doesn't have hers yet...Sorry, dear, after the authorities smush and rape it, I'm sure they'll send most of it along to you...)
BUT - I have many many more friends on LJ, who - although I may not be on mailing terms with - are still very dear to me, and so...
Here is my card to all of you, Flist!!
T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the fandom
The guys we love most started pairing at random.
A party was held, with drinks, games and lunch,
And nobody knew it, but I spiked the punch.
At first it just seemed that the spirit was festive,
But soon it was clear that the tone was suggestive.
The boys from the Riptide were casting hot glances
At Starsky & Hutch and then weighing their chances,
While under the mistletoe, Murdock was waiting
And out on the dance floor Buck's hips were gyrating.
The boys in the Army stayed cautiously wary,
'Til they saw the cowboys just in off the prairie.
Then Johnny grabbed JD and started in flirting
While Ezra found Myron to be quite diverting.
It didn't take long to get everyone hammered
And tangling tongues with a guy they enamored.
But testosterone never would let them stop there
They desperately wanted their brand new friends bare.
An atmosphere laden with hot lust was brewing,
Soon all they could think of was sucking and screwing.
Blair Sandburg came forward with his leather backpack
Bouncing like Santa Claus hopped up on crack.
"I've got condoms and butt plugs and handcuffs and lube,
Oils and fur mitts and whips you can use."
He jumped on a table and handed them out,
Assuring them pleasure beyond any doubt.
Fraser was seen to be shedding his clothes,
And the Rays, it was feared then, would swift come to blows.
So Larabee picked up his lasso and tether,
And roped him a pair of cops, bound tight together.
"Oh, shit" gasped Kowalski, becoming undone.
"Don't tell me," said Vecchio, "That's not your gun."
"Shut up, you snide asshole, you're panting too,
And you'll beg for more when I'm done fucking you."
The mountie was left alone, wandering blindly,
'Til Face sucked him off and Ben said, "Thank you, kindly."
Captain Jack Sparrow was offering rum,
To anyone willing to finger his bum.
And Greg House was working, applying his cane,
To teach Draco and Harry the meaning of pain.
The Pros in from Britain just watched from the corner,
'Til Vin tipped his hat and said, "Ain't fucked a for'ner..."
So they stripped off their kits and got busy quickly,
And pretty soon Vin had them whistling Old Dixie.
The party got wilder and things used creatively,
Ice cubes were trailed and moans wailed elatedly.
Candy canes went up the oddest of places,
But left blissful grins on those flushed sexy faces.
Sam and Dean wielded a whip that they brandished
Making Ellison the meat in a Winchester sandwich.
Sheppard and Anderson joined up their forces,
To make Rodney and Doc Hock behave just like horses.
Zeke mounted his pony, to his mouth held the bit
And Rodney with glee, said, "Hey, is that chocolate?"
Kirk and Spock watched from their place by the fire,
As man after man quenched his burning desire.
When finally each one had come at least twice,
And the whole group was wasted and quiet as mice,
Those founders of slash fiction raised up their glasses,
"Here's to you gay boys who like fucking asses!"
And Hannibal cried as he zipped up his leather
"I love it, you know...when a plan comes together."
What I am posting here was originally my Christmas card to all my friends, which I sent out eariler this month (and sadly, one of my favorite pets probably doesn't have hers yet...Sorry, dear, after the authorities smush and rape it, I'm sure they'll send most of it along to you...)
BUT - I have many many more friends on LJ, who - although I may not be on mailing terms with - are still very dear to me, and so...
Here is my card to all of you, Flist!!
T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the fandom
The guys we love most started pairing at random.
A party was held, with drinks, games and lunch,
And nobody knew it, but I spiked the punch.
At first it just seemed that the spirit was festive,
But soon it was clear that the tone was suggestive.
The boys from the Riptide were casting hot glances
At Starsky & Hutch and then weighing their chances,
While under the mistletoe, Murdock was waiting
And out on the dance floor Buck's hips were gyrating.
The boys in the Army stayed cautiously wary,
'Til they saw the cowboys just in off the prairie.
Then Johnny grabbed JD and started in flirting
While Ezra found Myron to be quite diverting.
It didn't take long to get everyone hammered
And tangling tongues with a guy they enamored.
But testosterone never would let them stop there
They desperately wanted their brand new friends bare.
An atmosphere laden with hot lust was brewing,
Soon all they could think of was sucking and screwing.
Blair Sandburg came forward with his leather backpack
Bouncing like Santa Claus hopped up on crack.
"I've got condoms and butt plugs and handcuffs and lube,
Oils and fur mitts and whips you can use."
He jumped on a table and handed them out,
Assuring them pleasure beyond any doubt.
Fraser was seen to be shedding his clothes,
And the Rays, it was feared then, would swift come to blows.
So Larabee picked up his lasso and tether,
And roped him a pair of cops, bound tight together.
"Oh, shit" gasped Kowalski, becoming undone.
"Don't tell me," said Vecchio, "That's not your gun."
"Shut up, you snide asshole, you're panting too,
And you'll beg for more when I'm done fucking you."
The mountie was left alone, wandering blindly,
'Til Face sucked him off and Ben said, "Thank you, kindly."
Captain Jack Sparrow was offering rum,
To anyone willing to finger his bum.
And Greg House was working, applying his cane,
To teach Draco and Harry the meaning of pain.
The Pros in from Britain just watched from the corner,
'Til Vin tipped his hat and said, "Ain't fucked a for'ner..."
So they stripped off their kits and got busy quickly,
And pretty soon Vin had them whistling Old Dixie.
The party got wilder and things used creatively,
Ice cubes were trailed and moans wailed elatedly.
Candy canes went up the oddest of places,
But left blissful grins on those flushed sexy faces.
Sam and Dean wielded a whip that they brandished
Making Ellison the meat in a Winchester sandwich.
Sheppard and Anderson joined up their forces,
To make Rodney and Doc Hock behave just like horses.
Zeke mounted his pony, to his mouth held the bit
And Rodney with glee, said, "Hey, is that chocolate?"
Kirk and Spock watched from their place by the fire,
As man after man quenched his burning desire.
When finally each one had come at least twice,
And the whole group was wasted and quiet as mice,
Those founders of slash fiction raised up their glasses,
"Here's to you gay boys who like fucking asses!"
And Hannibal cried as he zipped up his leather
"I love it, you know...when a plan comes together."