Sex, Weirdness, Changes,etc...
So it turns out we are not moving. William's company decided to merge the inland empire/desert off and laid off several people at the coastal office and William was one of them. He will get 3 months severance pay plus his bonus. So here I stay in Del Mar. I had to tell everyone at work on Friday that I wasn't leaving. Luckily, they all seemed delighted, with the exception of my boss. But you cannot expect anything different from that guy. I opted not to tell them why, at William's request. He says that even if he gets another job in Orange County, he will likely just commute.
I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake in getting married. I have no doubt that I love him. It's just that when things aren't going his way he yells, and I truly despise this. Yelling and fighting are activities I naturally avoid so my tendency is to walk out while he seems to find yelling oddly cathartic. I told him over the past few weeks that I cannot take the yelling and the overreaction over minor things and if things don't change I will have to consider making a few changes myself. Lest you thing I am an abused wife, I'm most certainly not. I just resent that if we disagree about something so minor as what to watch on TV, he often starts yelling. Each time it happens I really want to say "fuck off" and leave.
The sex is good, I don't deny that. I believe that at the wonderful age of 40 I have most certainly hit some kind of peak, in terms of desire, openness and lack of limits. It's a strange thing to have great sex with someone you love that pisses you off so much. I think about sex with other people, and I do not know that the sex would be at the flavor I have come to be accustomed to.
I'm still trying to get a second job at that place in Beverly Hills. I would work from home and do coding (reading operative reports, assigned codes for billers) and send the completed reports back by fax. The guy who owns the company has given 2 tests, one of which I passed, and the other I have not heard back on. If I pass the tests, and I want to work full time, he estimates I will make about $100K year. If I could do this in addition to my regular job at the hospital, that would be excellent. This guy pays by the number of reports I complete, not hours spent, which is great for an insomniac like me.
The last weird thing is that I cannot log onto LiveJournal from work anymore--I now get an error message that says "Access Denied- Social Networking/Mature Content" blah, blah, blah... Oddly I can log on using other work computers which tells me this ban is strictly personal, likely initiated by my dumbass boss. Also, ebay is still accessible which to me is far bigger waste of worker time..
I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake in getting married. I have no doubt that I love him. It's just that when things aren't going his way he yells, and I truly despise this. Yelling and fighting are activities I naturally avoid so my tendency is to walk out while he seems to find yelling oddly cathartic. I told him over the past few weeks that I cannot take the yelling and the overreaction over minor things and if things don't change I will have to consider making a few changes myself. Lest you thing I am an abused wife, I'm most certainly not. I just resent that if we disagree about something so minor as what to watch on TV, he often starts yelling. Each time it happens I really want to say "fuck off" and leave.
The sex is good, I don't deny that. I believe that at the wonderful age of 40 I have most certainly hit some kind of peak, in terms of desire, openness and lack of limits. It's a strange thing to have great sex with someone you love that pisses you off so much. I think about sex with other people, and I do not know that the sex would be at the flavor I have come to be accustomed to.
I'm still trying to get a second job at that place in Beverly Hills. I would work from home and do coding (reading operative reports, assigned codes for billers) and send the completed reports back by fax. The guy who owns the company has given 2 tests, one of which I passed, and the other I have not heard back on. If I pass the tests, and I want to work full time, he estimates I will make about $100K year. If I could do this in addition to my regular job at the hospital, that would be excellent. This guy pays by the number of reports I complete, not hours spent, which is great for an insomniac like me.
The last weird thing is that I cannot log onto LiveJournal from work anymore--I now get an error message that says "Access Denied- Social Networking/Mature Content" blah, blah, blah... Oddly I can log on using other work computers which tells me this ban is strictly personal, likely initiated by my dumbass boss. Also, ebay is still accessible which to me is far bigger waste of worker time..