fucking insomnia

Feb 15, 2005 00:19

So I lie in bed, thinking and thinking and hating anything celebrating the heart.
Good luck to all those who are feeling happy about this year and this overly commercialized festival of emotional gluttony. I have never had a Vday to be impressed by, not while engaged, not while married, not while single. I have gotten things, but still..I think I have always missed the damn point. Worst part is....I celebrate it with friends, not just with one spectacular special someone. And I still can't like it. Something horrid happens every year. A divorce, a psycho stalker who won't go away, having that lovely feeling that a friend is no longer a friend. Joy joy, let me go buy a card for that occasion.
In other shit going on......had a long discussion with Pat over why I won't agree to date him, or marry him. I like being me, I like being a flirt, I like being able to hit on ppl and know that they want to fuck me, and the joy of deciding if I really want to fuck them. then I found out one his main problems is not me fucking ppl, it's him coming home and finding me in a relationship. Well damn, shoulda said that one sooner!! Still not dating him, or marrying him...but hell, I have more than found someone I want to fuck....it may destroy a friendship or two...but apparently those are blown anyways, so why not fuck him and at least get some enjoyment out of this past week? And flirting is way beyond fun. I'm adoring it, the ego strokes are blissful. Hmmm, a toast....to orgasms as sating as the ego boosts have been!! Drink up!
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