(no subject)
Cara: Wow. I really hate reading a book with the sentence "I was struck by the power of the simple cactus"
Trace: That doesnt make sense...
Cara: Sadly it kind of does in context
Trace: wow.
Cara: I ALSO hate when one of your parents makes a joke that's not at all funny and then thinks you're in a bad mood because you don't laugh at it and if you say '...I'm not in a bad mood, that wasn't funny' they think you're in an even worse mood
Trace: Hahahahahaha I know exactly what you mean
Cara: And by the end of it you're just like 'I was in a FINE mood until you told that damn joke and now I don't wanna talk to you anymore'
Cara: You shouldn't have to do courtesy laughs for your parents
Trace: But it's way better than when I wasn't talkative in the car and my dad accused me of not having forgiven him for leaving when I was thirteen. "Dad? I'm just... not...talking. I'm not condemning your immortal soul with my thoughts"
Cara: I HATE that!
Trace: Ah, parent guilt and humiliation.....
Trace: Although, when they try to TICKLE you it's pretty bad too.
Cara: And when the car trips are like two hours and you don't talk that much. 'Are you in a bad mood?' 'No.' 'You're not talking' 'I can't think of anything to TALK about' 'So you're in a bad mood'
Cara: Hahaha. My mom finally learned that one
Trace: Yeah, like, "You USUALLY talk more" "I USUALLY havent been in a car for 2 and a half hours"
Cara: Right! And sometimes I have a very rich inner monologue going on
Trace: Yes indeed.
Cara: Or it's like 'Well. I can't talk about all the stuff I did with so and so because every other word was a curse or a sexual reference and we were drunk'
Trace: Usually though when my mom tries to make a joke that isnt funny, we laugh AT her
Cara: Oh, see, my mom says something and then I say 'o...kay' and she goes 'It was a JOKE, Care,' and I say '..okay'
Trace: Or my mom laughs at her OWN joke and her nose wrinkles and her eyes tear up and THEN we laugh at her...
Trace: Gotta love family..
Cara: Ha!
Cara: Then luckily Doug walked by and I was like 'Oh. There's Doug. I have to go now.' And that's how I had TWO lunches today
Cara: And I'm still hungry because I barely ate any of either of them because they both sucked
Trace: Yeah Im making a snack now, mm... since Im thinking I wont eat until 9 earliest otherwise
Cara: Yeah. I'm gonna be hungry. Hungry and listenin' to jazz
Trace: youll be understanding the true jazz experience
Cara: Actually, a surprising amount of jazz musicians were from fairly well-to-do families
Trace: The true jazz experience... in theory.
Cara: If I wanted it to be a true jazz experience I'd be strung out on heroin and booze
Trace: sweeet
Trace: you bring the heroin
Cara: But I used it all on Heroin Monday!
Trace: ...then whatre you gonna do NEXT Heroin Monday?
Cara: Oh, I meet with my dealer on Opium Den Fridays
Trace: good deal. Arent we supposed to be having an Orgy or something tonight?
Cara: Crack Orgy Wednesday? That was last week. Weren't you there?
Trace: Maaaybe
Cara: Knew I should have gotten the lights fixed
Trace: I dont really understand the allure or practicality of an orgy...
Cara: Neither do I. But I really don't like chaos
Cara: I'm so horrible. I just typoed 'authority' as 'authoriry' and thought 'What, am I Japanese?' and then I laughed
Trace: Hahaha!
Trace: I made an awful joke in my head last night but it was so awful I felt bad for it instead of laughing.
Cara: Now I want to hear it
Trace: I just can't.
Cara: Come oooon
Trace: Although I was thinking of special olympics jokes when watching the handicap marathon winners
Cara: Oh god, who wasn't?
Cara: I mean...for shame!
Trace: yes dear.
Cara: I was thinking of the Stephen Lynch song
Trace: That I dont know
Cara: Oh man. I have to play it for you. It's wonderful
Trace: Oh, whee. Im learning how to "Line string beans up like Rockettes"
Cara: ...
Cara: ...!
Trace: Does she mean... tallest on the outside?
Cara: Turn OFF the Food Network
Trace: Nooo
Cara: YES
Trace: Theres nothing onnn
Cara: Maybe she just means straight?
Cara: And vertical
Trace: maybe she means in a kickline.
Cara: Yes. Because it's more fun to cook food with big city aspirations
Trace: And sequence!
Trace: Sequins.
Trace: S-.... glitter.
Cara: Heeeeeeee. Typoes that are actually words
Trace: the shame
Cara: Hee
Cara: Poor Paul is totally smitten with a girl who has a boyfriend and he's like 'This sucks. I hate this' and I'
Trace: Look at her cooking... it's hypnotic and fascinating
Cara: m like 'But being smitten is the best worst thing in the world!' and he's like 'shut up, Care-A-Lot Bear'
Cara: I don't have the food network
Trace: I know
Trace: Ohhh dear. Poor Paul.... he should knock off the boyfriend. Or..just sleep with her anyway.
Cara: I asked if he wanted me to take care of the boyfriend.
Cara: I offered to kill him or set up incriminating photos of him with another girl
Trace: I've yet to see a consequence for messing around with taken people. Except the emotional toll. But, psh.
Cara: Heeeeeee
Cara: Apparently she's a sweetheart and the boyfriend's an ass and Paul's the nice guy so this won't end well
Trace: Oh no, no it wont
Cara: I don't have the heart to say 'You'll be her friend forEVER'
Trace: But it'll HELP
Cara: I can't do that to him!
Trace: Oh, wow. That Glade Plug-Ins commercial was baaad
Cara: Hahahaha
Trace: Then tell him he needs to ride in on a motorcyle, have a great singing voice, and challenge the other boyfriend to a motorcycle contest in DISGUISE, while also having an alter ego who plays the nice-guy friend, so that when the daredevil meets the sympathetic ear, BAM. Sex.
Cara: HA!
Trace: Or tell him to get an oriental carpet...
Cara: http://quizilla.com/users/BaalObsidian/quizzes/How %20grammatically%20sound%20are%20you%3F /
Cara: Woo! I'm a grammar god!
Trace: ME TOO!
Trace: High five!
Trace: Well, he CAN ride a motorcycle, but he DOESNT anymore.
Cara: I liked the modifier question, because today while I was taking my first amendment final and writing the definition for obscenity I was like '..I totally lost my modifier'
Cara: Haha. SEE
Trace: this is the only quiz result I've ever wanted to post.
Cara: I know
Cara: And the one that said I was the Megatron
Cara: AND the one that said I was the attack banana
Trace: Aw, my image isnt coming up
Cara: But you properly used a comma
Trace: Hehehe
Trace: I wish I could see the details of my results though...
Cara: I know. I want to know how many I got right
Trace: That doesnt make sense...
Cara: Sadly it kind of does in context
Trace: wow.
Cara: I ALSO hate when one of your parents makes a joke that's not at all funny and then thinks you're in a bad mood because you don't laugh at it and if you say '...I'm not in a bad mood, that wasn't funny' they think you're in an even worse mood
Trace: Hahahahahaha I know exactly what you mean
Cara: And by the end of it you're just like 'I was in a FINE mood until you told that damn joke and now I don't wanna talk to you anymore'
Cara: You shouldn't have to do courtesy laughs for your parents
Trace: But it's way better than when I wasn't talkative in the car and my dad accused me of not having forgiven him for leaving when I was thirteen. "Dad? I'm just... not...talking. I'm not condemning your immortal soul with my thoughts"
Cara: I HATE that!
Trace: Ah, parent guilt and humiliation.....
Trace: Although, when they try to TICKLE you it's pretty bad too.
Cara: And when the car trips are like two hours and you don't talk that much. 'Are you in a bad mood?' 'No.' 'You're not talking' 'I can't think of anything to TALK about' 'So you're in a bad mood'
Cara: Hahaha. My mom finally learned that one
Trace: Yeah, like, "You USUALLY talk more" "I USUALLY havent been in a car for 2 and a half hours"
Cara: Right! And sometimes I have a very rich inner monologue going on
Trace: Yes indeed.
Cara: Or it's like 'Well. I can't talk about all the stuff I did with so and so because every other word was a curse or a sexual reference and we were drunk'
Trace: Usually though when my mom tries to make a joke that isnt funny, we laugh AT her
Cara: Oh, see, my mom says something and then I say 'o...kay' and she goes 'It was a JOKE, Care,' and I say '..okay'
Trace: Or my mom laughs at her OWN joke and her nose wrinkles and her eyes tear up and THEN we laugh at her...
Trace: Gotta love family..
Cara: Ha!
Cara: Then luckily Doug walked by and I was like 'Oh. There's Doug. I have to go now.' And that's how I had TWO lunches today
Cara: And I'm still hungry because I barely ate any of either of them because they both sucked
Trace: Yeah Im making a snack now, mm... since Im thinking I wont eat until 9 earliest otherwise
Cara: Yeah. I'm gonna be hungry. Hungry and listenin' to jazz
Trace: youll be understanding the true jazz experience
Cara: Actually, a surprising amount of jazz musicians were from fairly well-to-do families
Trace: The true jazz experience... in theory.
Cara: If I wanted it to be a true jazz experience I'd be strung out on heroin and booze
Trace: sweeet
Trace: you bring the heroin
Cara: But I used it all on Heroin Monday!
Trace: ...then whatre you gonna do NEXT Heroin Monday?
Cara: Oh, I meet with my dealer on Opium Den Fridays
Trace: good deal. Arent we supposed to be having an Orgy or something tonight?
Cara: Crack Orgy Wednesday? That was last week. Weren't you there?
Trace: Maaaybe
Cara: Knew I should have gotten the lights fixed
Trace: I dont really understand the allure or practicality of an orgy...
Cara: Neither do I. But I really don't like chaos
Cara: I'm so horrible. I just typoed 'authority' as 'authoriry' and thought 'What, am I Japanese?' and then I laughed
Trace: Hahaha!
Trace: I made an awful joke in my head last night but it was so awful I felt bad for it instead of laughing.
Cara: Now I want to hear it
Trace: I just can't.
Cara: Come oooon
Trace: Although I was thinking of special olympics jokes when watching the handicap marathon winners
Cara: Oh god, who wasn't?
Cara: I mean...for shame!
Trace: yes dear.
Cara: I was thinking of the Stephen Lynch song
Trace: That I dont know
Cara: Oh man. I have to play it for you. It's wonderful
Trace: Oh, whee. Im learning how to "Line string beans up like Rockettes"
Cara: ...
Cara: ...!
Trace: Does she mean... tallest on the outside?
Cara: Turn OFF the Food Network
Trace: Nooo
Cara: YES
Trace: Theres nothing onnn
Cara: Maybe she just means straight?
Cara: And vertical
Trace: maybe she means in a kickline.
Cara: Yes. Because it's more fun to cook food with big city aspirations
Trace: And sequence!
Trace: Sequins.
Trace: S-.... glitter.
Cara: Heeeeeeee. Typoes that are actually words
Trace: the shame
Cara: Hee
Cara: Poor Paul is totally smitten with a girl who has a boyfriend and he's like 'This sucks. I hate this' and I'
Trace: Look at her cooking... it's hypnotic and fascinating
Cara: m like 'But being smitten is the best worst thing in the world!' and he's like 'shut up, Care-A-Lot Bear'
Cara: I don't have the food network
Trace: I know
Trace: Ohhh dear. Poor Paul.... he should knock off the boyfriend. Or..just sleep with her anyway.
Cara: I asked if he wanted me to take care of the boyfriend.
Cara: I offered to kill him or set up incriminating photos of him with another girl
Trace: I've yet to see a consequence for messing around with taken people. Except the emotional toll. But, psh.
Cara: Heeeeeee
Cara: Apparently she's a sweetheart and the boyfriend's an ass and Paul's the nice guy so this won't end well
Trace: Oh no, no it wont
Cara: I don't have the heart to say 'You'll be her friend forEVER'
Trace: But it'll HELP
Cara: I can't do that to him!
Trace: Oh, wow. That Glade Plug-Ins commercial was baaad
Cara: Hahahaha
Trace: Then tell him he needs to ride in on a motorcyle, have a great singing voice, and challenge the other boyfriend to a motorcycle contest in DISGUISE, while also having an alter ego who plays the nice-guy friend, so that when the daredevil meets the sympathetic ear, BAM. Sex.
Cara: HA!
Trace: Or tell him to get an oriental carpet...
Cara: http://quizilla.com/users/BaalObsidian/quizzes/How %20grammatically%20sound%20are%20you%3F /
Cara: Woo! I'm a grammar god!
Trace: ME TOO!
Trace: High five!
Trace: Well, he CAN ride a motorcycle, but he DOESNT anymore.
Cara: I liked the modifier question, because today while I was taking my first amendment final and writing the definition for obscenity I was like '..I totally lost my modifier'
Cara: Haha. SEE
Trace: this is the only quiz result I've ever wanted to post.
Cara: I know
Cara: And the one that said I was the Megatron
Cara: AND the one that said I was the attack banana
Trace: Aw, my image isnt coming up
Cara: But you properly used a comma
Trace: Hehehe
Trace: I wish I could see the details of my results though...
Cara: I know. I want to know how many I got right